So you managed to get a girl’s number. Great! What do you do now?
Next step is to meet her. And before that? Arrange the logistics of the meeting.
Let’s say that you have managed to build enough attraction when you have met her and used a couple of routines that she now finds you interesting. One of those that you should have used is a funny nick name. This is an essential link that will enable a smooth transaction into new conversation.
When do you do it? If I get a girl’s number (or FB or mail) during weekend, I usually contact them on Tuesday. Do not contact them, under any circumstances the same night or following morning. Also, don’t, after she gives you her number, “check if it works” or “I will call you so you can have mine”. Just don’t.
So, should you call or text?
Calling is dead. Today girls text, text and text some more. They don’t call. I tried calling, but it didn’t work as I would have wanted it. I prefer calling when there is some relationship going on and I can build rapport that way easily.
So, how complicated text should be?
As simple as possible, but with a some kind of twist. The twist comes from the nickname you gave her. Or the something you two came up with. Or from something you have been teasing her about (note, never tease about physical look, they tend to cry). The text should be about the logistics.
Here is an example:
Hi _insert nick name here_, _reference to the tease_ (e.g. Still planning on killing that girl? Should I start avoiding your part of town?) (The tease is a small bait that she has no problem answering to. It also helps you to see if she is near her phone and how quickly she responds. The quicker the better, reverse doesn’t apply.)
Her: _Answer to the tease_ (e.g. Nah, I have bigger plans in mind like blowing something up) (Depending how rich (playful) her answer is, you will know how hooked she is. Also, how fast she answers. The more, the better, but reverse doesn’t apply.)
Me: _Reference to the answer_ (e.g. Great, now I am on a FBI’s watch list.) _Transition from the reference to the logistics_ (e.g. I think we should discuss details in person. Coffee Saturday afternoon? I will send you details a couple of days before) (Short and simple. Don’t do long texts because they are better then you are. Jokes don’t sound good because you can’t calibrate and use your body language. The more you text, the more chance you have to screw something up. Also, notice that I didn’t ask for the permission (Would you like to…). I am polite enough to use a question mark but that can be changed into comma (calibration). Also, I haven’t ended my text with the question (keeping momentum going – I am telling her what to do)
Day before (or same day) I text with the details.
Me: Tomorrow, XXXX hrs, _place_
She: Ok, cya (Her text just came as I am writing this 🙂)
So, you have a solid basis to start with. She likes you. If she didn’t she wouldn’t answer your text (or would give you incorrect number).
If girl doesn’t show up (flakes) or cancels in last minute delete her number and newer speak to her. Do not believe any excuses unless you have slept with her (and then same rules often applies). If she makes an effort (such as contacting you) then give her another try.
First rule of date is to have a plan – a dateplan. Plan has to consist of activities you two are going to do. If you are thinking on the spot, you will be insecure and not a leader. Be prepared. Here is an outline of mine.
I don’t do “regular” dates (go to dinners). I meet girls for a coffee at a bar (since that is very nonthreatening). There I continue with being cocky and funny (attraction build). Time has passed since she last saw you and you need to boost attraction again.
After an hour or so, I tell I have a chore to do (usually shopping) and I would like her to come along (“women’s point of view”). There are a couple of reasons for this:
1. Venue change is good for comfort building.
2. She gets an opportunity to see me in a normal environment and activity.
3. I make an adventure out of it (I suggest her what to try, “she is helping me” vibe, more teasing and comfort building).
During this, second venue, I tone down with teasing (it is less frequent) I put more emphasis on comfort (by doing this chore she gets to know my likes and I get to know her). After going through couple of shops, we sit down for another drink (usually at the mall).
During this drink I suggest another bounce, something that is more romantic (isolated), such as a walk at the park/lake/city center… I want to bounce to a location that offers me more intimacy for deeper comfort building. If she agrees (and she will if you haven’t screwed something up), I tell her that I have one more chore to do before we can leave. I buy something that I have to bring back home (like meat). I know what are you thinking, but you are wrong.
We bounce to my place (“I have to drop this, come up with me, here is hot/cold”). When we come, I show her around (“I would like your opinion on e.g. carpets/kitchen renovation/whatever”). After maximum half an hour, I suggest we go for a walk as we planned (“Enough snooping, let’s go”).
This is the catch. She was expecting me to make the move, but I didn’t. As long as you are unpredictable, you will be attractive. Second thing I wanted to achieve was to show her my place and not to make such a big deal the next time when she comes (and it won’t be for the carpets).
Then we go for a walk. During that we are in deep rapport and building more comfort. Certain vulnerabilities come up, but only a glance of them (e.g. something from childhood). I usually do the Cube or any other comfort building routine. We are getting to know each other. We are connecting. This is an excellent time for the kiss (if you haven’t done it before).
Next bounce is my place (“It is getting darker and I am cold. I would love to continue this in a warmer environment. Let’s go to my place. You have to try some excellent wine I picked up last week”).
With each bounce, you should be getting closer and closer to your place. Last, comfort building place should be (ideally) waking distance away.
When you are at your place, bring up the wine (alcohol is a social lubricant). If she refuses to drink, that is a sign she is not ready jet. If she drinks, go on.
If she is not ready jet, you can build more comfort and rappor. One thing I do if she doesn’t drink is to cook something (and have her help you) or even better, have her cook for you. Girls love to teach men do something and give advice. Second thing, we can watch some movies or play my kinect.
If she drinks, escalate to making out. In either case, have an romantic atmosphere (dimmed lights, candles, music, scents…).
During making out, you can escalate to sex.
This whole process can be spread through several dates. I seal the deal until date 3, but each date has to escalate and make progress. If it doesn’t drop her. Usually it takes 7 hours from meeting to sex, says Mystery.
It is all about planning, leading and making an illusion that everything is happening flawlessly and fluidly so she can say “I can’t believe this happened” or “I usually don’t do this”.
Have the plan!
Do you have something to add? Share your experience.