I have a friend. His life is tough, really tough. He went through some things I wouldn’t want my greatest enemy to go through. He made mistakes, mistakes that participated to the sum of his life. But who hasn’t? He is a good person, too good for his own good. And in life we live today such persons get punished for being good. Is being bad the solution?
He was in a happy long term relationship a couple of years ago. His girl got pregnant and they got married. He got a beautiful son. And he was happy. His, now wife, for some reason was not. But he, as a good guy he is, tried to be even nicer. He worked even harder to be the best provider. She demanded even more. He worked even more. Humans are miserable animals. We believe if we do the same thing harder, things will be better, but they won’t. Change is what makes things better. He snapped. He got divorced. Splitting almost killed him because he loved and still loves (as of today) his now ex wife. He adores his kid. Who wouldn’t? I love his kid. But a child needs a stable family. His will never have.
Family is always there for us. And we, children grown up, try to be for them. But there comes a point in life where life seems unfair and our loved ones go away. It is sad but normal part of life. We have to step in to help. But there is a void that, in order for life to feel normal again, needs to be filled. We try to become providers in stead of our fathers for our family. We start to be mentors in stead of our fathers to our siblings. We start to work harder. Humans are miserable animals. We believe if we do the same thing harder, things will be better, but they won’t. Change is what does. We can’t live other peoples’ lives in stead of our own. This has nothing to do with selfishness but no father or mother would want our lives spent in name of theirs. Some voids have to be accepted and lived with.
He found love again. Like at the beginning of every relationship they played games. Games of courtship and getting to know the limits of other and relationship itself are a normal part of any beginning. But they couldn’t stop. When their love was mature and it was clear to everyone they are crazy about each other, they were still driving each other mad by games and drama. She happens to love drama and he happens to love her. They were splitting and getting back together on numerous times. Humans are miserable animals. We believe by doing the same things harder, things will be better. Now, they are split apart for last time but still together. Guys when having tough times tend to run to places they were happy. To women. There is nothing like a warm and tender women’s bosom that can calm a man. The same is leadership and decisiveness women seek in men. When there is missing, warmth turns to drama because there are no limits and women tend to test them. Always. Drama provides the same emotions as a decisive man – excitement.
Change is the only cure for solving problems. It is hard to change. It is easier to escape to moments of happiness (drinking, drugs, ignoring problems…) and, in the mean time, work harder on doing the same thing. Same thing we are so good at. Being miserable. We humans are miserable animals indeed.
I thought of finishing this article with last sentence. But that would be pathetic. There is a way to fight misery. Change. How? Start small. Remove or contain sources of misery. Set priorities. The moment a women is a number one priority, and she knows it (and she will) you become number two. Number one is everything else. Priorities – yourself (health, psychical and mental), family and friends then women. Don’t think you can tackle all areas simultaneously. Start by priorities. First, change yourself by start living healthier – exercise and read books. You can’t help others if you are a mess. Second, take care of your family and friends. When everything is settled attend to your women. Set her limits. She wants it. Don’t be a jerk (no, being bad is not the solution), don’t be a nice guy either. Find a middle, be a man who is a decisive leader. A masculine man. Don’t sell yourself short for a pussy. If you tell me you love her more than yourself, your family and friends and you believe it deep down, you, my friend, will be miserable for the rest of your life. And sooner then later, you will be alone. Pathetic, bitter, broken and alone. Consider this as my final warning.