Rationalization

Men are logical creatures, women are emotional. This is a number one lesson any man needs to learn and understand. Consequences of such emotional approach to life is women’s tendency to judge something to be right or wrong depending how she feels at that moment. And this judgement is not set in stone. Such (“normal”) emotional swings confuse guys as we try to logically understand the situation. Well, this usually doesn’t work. She accuses you how “you don’t understand her”, and you are left confused and would like to have mind reading abilities. What does a nice guy do? He tries correct the situation. He either asks more about it (in order to logically understand), noticeably flustered, or takes the blame and starts apologizing and begging. This, irritates the girl even more.

So, what to do?
First, analyze the situation and conclude is this a shit test or not. If it is a shit test, ignore it or call her on it like you would a brandish little sister (“Stop behaving like a little brad. Pick yourself up and let’s go.”).
If it is not a shit test but something that she, logically, has reasons to be upset about and if you messed up, apologize. Don’t beg, just say you mad a mistake. Don’t lose your frame. If is something else, provide her comfort and be there for her (e.g. hold her tightly in your arms).

Usually when dealing with women, don’t listen what they say, watch how they react. Use black box approach. Women will often say things like “I like nice guys who are always taking care of me” but will then get irritated by his suffocating attention or jealousy. Girls like bad boys even though no one will admit it.

Another consequence of such emotional approach is that she will always find excuses for any mistakes she (logically) made that felt good at the time. This is called rationalization. A metaphor for this phenomenon is a hamster spinning in a wheel since she believes in excuses she has made to be true. And she keeps telling them and living with (in) them without realizing the truth and that she is not getting anywhere (metaphor for the wheel).
Some examples would be:
“I don’t usually do that!” Something you can hear after a girl sleeps with you rather quickly in order not to feel like a slut.
“I am not fat, there is just more me to love.” Khm…
“There are no more nice guys.” A commonly used by women who are about to hit the wall (meaning stop being attractive, usually happening around late twenties or early thirties). She enjoyed her youth and all attention that came with it. She has lost her youth and suddenly no one cares about her. It must be those jerks.

Listen to the hamster!

Listen to the hamster!

There is an article that goes extensively how to handle emotional swings. Stay calm and don’t give up to her storm. She will appreciate you more for not getting drawn into her emotions. You will be the man she loves.

Women should always try to be more feminine in order to keep her man. To do so I recommend the following:

  • Read The Rules Revisted and be prepared to learn from it rather than salve your ego by rejecting it. If you disagree with any post there it means you are wrong.
  • Change your diet away from man foods. Get more fresh vegetables, fruit, water, white meats.
  • Stop drinking alcohol. Really, try to entirely cut alcohol out of your life. If you must drink, avoid beers and lagers at all costs. More then anything else, alcohol and cigarettes ruin a girl’s hormone balance.
  • Don’t lift weights, circuit train or jog. Which girls have the most sexy feminine bodies? Yes, dancers, aerobics instructors and pilates girls. Joggers always look like shit.
  • Take pleasure in learning to cook and other girly hobbies. Make a real skill out of it. It’s so easy to set yourself apart from, and above, the crowd of girls with androgynous or masculine hobbies.
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The Night Game

This is a gift from my wingman Mody.

The Night Game – a Personal Approach by Mody

Introduction

Do you know how to talk to women? How do you tackle your anxiety when approaching in order to talk to women? How to be a better conversationalist in general and with girls? How to overcome your approach anxiety? These are just some of many questions we as men have tried to answer since long time ago. Some have managed to find the right answer by chance (lucky ones), some didn’t, but for the rest of us, this is a skill that can be learned (like any other). These skill, collectively, are named the Game.

Today, one can find many theories, books, gurus and guides that help men to answer these and many more questions. If you are reading this, you are interested in the subject of being more successful with women. Post you are reading right now is a collection of my experiences that I want to share so I can give you guys another tool. My goal is not to present a theory or a role model but something that might help you improve your performance with girls from my experience. If I am able to help one person to reach his full potential and improve his social experience then this document I have written has fulfilled its goal.

Who am I?

You can call me Mody, I am an African guy who lives in one of the ex-Yugoslavian countries, am in my late 20’s. I moved here almost 3 years ago and since I came here I was gaming day and night, but to be honest I am more talented in the Night Game and that’s what am going to try to help you with in document.

Night Game Atmosphere

For all of you, who go out every during weekends, hang out around bars and nightclubs, you have tendency to live by same, repeated scenario. You put your best outfit, you meet friends and then you go to a bar or club. There, you find others doing the same. Most guys are out there hunting and girls are seated in their fancy dresses, in groups drinking and having fun. Now the adventure starts. You see a guy approaching a girl and then he gets shut down by her cold dead eyes. Afterwards, the guy leaves with crushed pride and low self-esteem. A bit later, you see another guy approaching the same girl but this time you find her lighting up the room with her laughter. What happened, you ask yourself? Why did this guy succeed and the other one didn’t? Did he get lucky? I will tell you why. It is because the second guy has Game. What does this mean? It means that he had the “right” approach. So, what is the “right” approach? It is that thing that you say after “Hi“. Believe it or not until you say “Hi“ this girl has nothing against you. It’s what you say after that matters. If you said something old, used and dull then you will get shot down. But if you say something new, refreshing, funny and smart then you will get an invitation to continue talking to this girl world. You have to understand that you are out to meet girls and girls are there out to meet guys. There is no doubt about that, or else why would she put all these fancy clothes, shoes and makeup. Defiantly not just to go out, have a drink in the bar and then go home. She is here to have a good time with her friends. Of course, she also came to meet guys. Once you understand this, things will get easier. You will look at the bars and clubs as a sea of opportunities. Only thing left is to seek them out. Before that you need to prepare.

How to Prepare for a Good Night?

Look, looks and more about the look

Let’s clear one thing. I am not talking about physical look, like being cute, muscular or good looking in general. These things don’t hurt and should be improved on (hit the gym) but one thing that can be fixed in a short amount of time is your clothes. Believe it or not, while you are checking the girl, the girl is also checking you. Okay, you are not checking for same things, but when you are checking her “personality“ she is checking your shirt, your shoes, your hair, your perfume, your vibe. For better or for worse, that first impression we make, based on superficial information, has a strong impact, at least in the beginning. Your cloths reflect who you are (well, she is checking your personality). Your whole image, your presence – the vibe you are sending. That might be a rocker or businessmen. It doesn’t matter. So, if you want to give her a good vibe then you have to take care of your appearances (clothes, facial hair, cleanliness…) before you go out. Different guys go for different styles and change them when they go out. Important thing is that you find your own style, one that suits you and you feel comfortable with. First you need to find out what you like and what others like. One tip it to ask your friends (especially those guys that look stylish and now how to dress or girls). They will help you. Try with those close to you who will not hesitate to tell you about your flaws. That feedback is priceless no matter how brutal it seems. Beside that there are a lot of fashion channels and websites you can check (e.g. http://masculine-style.com/ or http://www.askmen.com/) or fashion stylists who offer consulting services. Some guys say “I have no time for this crap. I am not a girl to check out shirts or jeans. I will just put the first thing that going to pop out of the closet”. Well my response to you all is “Man you are doing us a big favor. Continue doing that“. Stay ignorant, stay dry,  stay virgin. Dressing sharp will differentiate you from other guys.

Self-confidence and right mindset

Okay, I know that you heard this one many times before that women are attracted to the self-confidant guys and sometime the arrogant bastards (jerks) even. But do you know why? Because they have no problem speaking their mind. They like to be heard and sometimes they put themselves on pedestal, not the women (God complex). That’s what makes them unique. I am not saying you have to be a bad boy in order to get any girl you want. You need to find your positive and socially acceptable image and wear it and that what will bring you what you want? For example before you go out look to the mirror and say something good and true about yourself like “I am gonna be the most smartest guy in the bar” , “I am gonna be the most fashionable guy in the bar” or “I am the most successful”. These things will fly with yourself steam and going to make you feel good about yourself. That’s a spread feeling which mean the other people can feel this energy coming from you and they connect with it, they want to be around you because that gives them a good feeling.

 Avoid Losers

“The man is measured by people that surround him“. basically, hanging out with successful friends make you successful. Talking about the Game, if you are going out with a group of people who are not even trying to step up their Game, they will also affect you. Always try to have a socially acceptable people (meaning those who are in a good, playful mood) around you when going to a bar or a nightclub so they can give you the right push when you need it.

Hunting Time

Part I – The Bar Game

The entrance is very important because there will be always some girl inside who checked everyone and nothing caught her eye. She is bored so she starts to look at the door waiting for a fresh meat. Maybe one of the newcomers will be her salvation from the boredom. Always get into the bar with a high attitude like you own the place. If you are getting in with your friends try to make it like one of the action movies scenes. There is no need to jump on the floor, but enter with high energy (e.g. laugh, joke, tease each other, wrestle,…). As an exercise, try noticing how many girls (or people in general) look your way when you enter a bar. When you see these groups of girls notice if they are looking at each other while whispering something.  That means you already caught their attention. It doesn’t matter if you or one of your friends did it, first impression you made is “these are interesting guys”. This is a start of building a social value. Social value, for those who haven’t heard about the concept, is a measure of certain qualities and beliefs that are shared within a specific (social) group of people. This group, in the setting we are talking about (but applies for every peer group), are the girls in bar. Let me give you an example. You have friends and in your group (it may be a band or a gaming group) there are certain individuals who are perceived as “more important” than other. They may be a better singer or player or just be the group organizer (leader). The perception you have about these individuals is their social status. In bar or night club setting, people have social value who are having fun, opened to conversation or meeting new people. People who are independent or have any kind of value for the group have higher social value. You want to have as much social value as you can and most of the tips in this article are aimed to increasing your social value. People are attracted to value (ofc).

Now you are in the bar alone or with your friends, what should you do? You can’t just stand alone or with them in a corner and keep checking everybody out. That’s just creepy and gives the wrong idea about you (wrong vibe). The best place to be at is at the bar ordering some drinks. While you are ordering you are scouting the place (with your eyes) for potential targets. Once you find potential targets you start moving around them and make one round in the bar hall (to scout the place). While you are walking, try to catch a detail of anything they might be talking about or wearing. Try to make an eye contact but don’t push for one. All you need in your first round in the bar is to introduce yourself visually if your target didn’t notice you yet. After making the round and you haven’t found anything better, start working your way to one of them. Be a gentleman but in the same time be unapologetic. If it’s a group of girls, say “Hi “ and ask one of them about an item of her clothing like her shoes or something you overheard them talking. Engage in the conversation and after some point drop the introduction line “My name is ___, btw.“ she will introduce herself and her friends. Keep a strong eye contact while you are talking with the target even if she’s talking about a boring subject or if you feel that you picked up the wrong girl in the group. That is why even if she is seems to be a wrong choice, she is going to be your entrance to the right one. Some mistakes guys do when they feel a girl who they picked isn’t interesting enough is to look away, play with a phone or try to make an eye contact with another girl in the bar or even in the same group. This is considered rude and disrespecting to the girl you picked up and she will be offended resulting in a cock blocker. Meaning, she will do everything she can to sabotage you in her set. No matter how subtle you are, girls can easily notice these things. If things are reverse, and you are talking to her and you notice she has lost interest, don’t comment and quickly move to the next girl in the group. Try to involve her in the conversation. If you are interested in her, hold a conversation and keep her mind stimulated. Once you have achieved that, you can just sit back and play with the group as you want (lead conversation – cut or open new topics, include new people in the conversation, move the group to another place…). It is easier if your target is a lone girl. She will appreciate you removing the boredom. In order to stimulate one’s mind hold a conversation with an interesting topic. You can engage one by asking questions and discussing and exchanging opinions about the subject. By doing so, you are showing what a smart, interesting and funny person you are. During the conversation, throw in a complement or two about her personality or choices she made (e.g. cloths or how you like her openness…). I also like to spice it up with teasing. When you notice she is engaged, go for the number.

Let me share a small trick I learned about asking a girl for her number. When talking the number, don’t input it yourself. Give her your phone and ask her to input it herself. It is very effective because when somebody has a mobile in their hands they want to do something with it. Also it is all about commitment. Besides, she will not have time to think of a fake number to give it to you.

Part II – The Night Club Game

As much as the entrance is important in a bar, it’s also important in the night club. While in the night club make sure your goal is to have fun and not pick up girls (same applies for bars). Girls can smell when you are “hunting” (because that is your vibe). When you enter the club, the first thing you should do is grab a drink and make a tour in the club with your friends (similar to scouting in a bar). The thing about night clubs is that people go there in order to hook up thus making them (or at least should be) an easier places to pick up girls. All what you need to do is search for a girl who will keep the eye contact with you and hold it for a while. If that happens, while you are making your tour, don’t ignore it, just keep the eye contact and walk slowly to her. Get closer and say “Hi”. Start to dance a bit. She will usually start dancing with you. If she is not the dancing type (which you will figure out after a couple of seconds), pull her back and tell her that the music isn’t good for dancing but you thought to give it a try. Initiating a conversation in the night club can be hard because of loud music. Another hindering factor is crowd. What you need to do is move her very fast and take her to a corner where you can have a small talk. You can achieve that with an excuse such as “Let’s go to grab a drink. We’ll be back soon“ or “ I want to talk to you for a while but it is really loud here so come with me for a minute“ or to grab a smoke. After you take her (your target) away from her group (set) you can go for the phone close or the kiss close because usually girls don’t want to do it in front of their friends. They don’t want to look or feel like a slut. If her friends are not letting her, say something like “I’ll be right over there and we will be back in a couple of minutes”. Befriend her friends a bit so that they get to know you and wan’t cock block you. Another tip is to not approach the set of 2 girls without a wing man. Usually, other target will not let her friend be left alone and bored. Also, the other girl if bored will grab her friend away (cock blocking). If the set has 3 or more girls then it’s not a problem because the other 2 or more girls will keep each other company while you are talking their friend. If you are a good dancer and your target is a girl on the dance floor then your mission is to show her how both of you are compatible as dancers. Dancing is always filled with sexual energy and tension thus a stimulating her subconscious mind. (morphy: girls judge your sex knowledge how good dancer you are) You begin by showing her your moves and “challenging” her to a show her’s. After a while start dancing without touching. Next, you start dancing while holding hands – beginning of kino. The kino at the dance floor is different because if girl likes you she will let you escalate very fast. While dancing, you start first by holding one hand and dance and then if she doesn’t take her hand away you go for the second hand.  Then try putting her hands around your neck while your position your hands on her waist. If you don’t encounter any resistance, pull her to dance between your legs while you are getting closer to her face. If you manage to do everything without any resistance then next step is the kiss. If at any point the girl resists, you can just move away while you are dancing with her. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. After encountering any resistance, you should back off playfully and ignore her for some time. If she follows you, she is missing you. Always, after the first backing, you should try at least one more. It is better to apologize than ask permission. Being funny and making the girl laugh with short sentences or even you facial expression is really effective in the night club game (and you can’t really talk there). Doing so leaves an impression you are a smart communicator who doesn’t need to do a lot of effort to deliver a message. So don’t waist a chance to give a funny or flirty comments. Choose the right moments to talk, as when music is not as louder, strong eye contact or after the kiss. Moments like that are very important.

Conclusion

Night club Game can end in a many different ways for different guys. Some achieve a number or kiss close or even take the girl home. You will never know how night will end so don’t put your hopes high because no one scores all the time and no one score perfectly all the time. Some nights are going to be better than others and some are going to be even perfect. Then on other hand, some nights will be dull and slow but even if you had way many dull nights in row don’t give up. Only losers in the Game are the quitters. As long you are trying and learning you are getting better and better. Practice makes perfect. No matter how you think you suck, your subconscious is collecting these experiences, analyzing them to be used in later situations. Then, when moment comes, you will have this experience and knowledge ready to be applied.

Why Does This Work?

Why does this works?
I have recommended some reading in my “Where to Start From” post that gives a theoretical background of the Game. Here are a couple of highlights.
There are a couple of theories present today, but there are two aspects that shape us to be what we are today. Genes and environment (experience).

Evolutionary theory
Let’s talk about the genes first. Genes are a product of our heritage and evolution that has helped us to survive over millions of years. And our goal, from genes’ point of view is to survive long enough to send them to new generation. As has been with each and every our ancestor (or we wouldn’t be here today). Only problem with genes is that it takes more than a single lifespan of a generation for them to change. It takes a much, much longer. Thousands of years. Genes “learn” via the process of natural (sexual) selection (survival of the fittest). OK, so, what does this all has to do with the Game?

Our genes are not prepared for living in the world we are living today.

I have already written about our genes’ heritage, their inadequacy for today’s world.

But, we have what we have. By understanding the background, we can adopt.

Women seek in men what they lack and men seek in women what they lack. Women are the gatekeepers of sex and replication. This is the value we, men, seek. But evolution has played a nice trick on them. Their initial investment is much higher than ours. To clarify this I will show a couple of examples. First example is the quantity and size of reproductive cells – eggs and sperm. Women produces one egg each month. Men produce millions sperm cells each day. Also, from size point of view (e.g. investment), women are again at disadvantage. Because of this higher initial investment, women have to be choosy about their partners. Men don’t have to. This is especially pronounced with homosexual couples. Gay couples are very promiscuous and approach to sex very early in their relationship. They also tend to change partners relatively often (e.g. bath houses). Lesbians on the other hand take a long, long time (months) to know their partner before becoming intimate (which is illogical since they can’t get pregnant).

At this point, you must be asking what women want. They require safety which they lack. Men are better at psychical activities (in general). In a Savannah environment (for which our genes were prepared over a course of millions of years) men used to hunt and provide, women used take care of the household. Again, this can be seen at usual stereotypical man and women activities – men are better at e.g. driving (visual perception in the distance), women are better at taking care of others (attention to details). Since women are looking for safety, they are screening us during the attraction phase of the Game. (Unconsciously) women are testing us if we can protect them from all dangers in the world. This is why certain characteristics attract women. Same applies to men who are attracted to outer beauty, screening for good health which is associated with (e.g. certain hip to waist ratio).

OK, what does humor, for instance, have to do with safety? One would expect that big muscles are enough to provide safety, right?
This is true to a point. Women are attracted to physical attributes, but to an extent one would expect. They are attracted to our brains, meaning intellect. Confused?
Let me introduce you to a bird. A bird where male and female are very different animals regarding looks. Female are grey and plain, while male are beautiful with lots of colors (mostly blue and green) and giant, long tail. Guessed which bird I am talking about? Yes, this is the peacock.
So, what is the use of peacocks tail? To “show off” and seduce peahen, you say. Why does it work? Yes, it is beautiful, but there must be something else? Is there any other use for this, humongous tail? Hardly. Even, it is a penalty. Because, the longer the tail, animal is less manoeuvrable and easily to be seen and caught by a predator. So, what does it mean if there is a peacock with a large tail still alive? It means he was able to survive despite his large, penalizing tail. Gentlemen (and ladies), I present you the sexual ornament. Each male animal has one. It is characterized as a part of the body which puts an individual in danger (reducing survivability) but promotes sexual encounters (increasing reproducibility). There are many examples in nature, and it is usually some sort of ritualistic behaviour and/or body part.
What is our sexual ornament? It is our brains. Studies have shown that there is no explanation, from pure survival point of view, for the amount of resources our brains need (waste) compared to the rest of our body. There must be something else. And that is reproduction. Our intellect, our ability to outsmart our environment and our competitors in order to gain sexual services is the reason women are screening for leadership or for humor. And when talking about rituals that reduce survivability and increase reproducibility, think about how teenagers suddenly start to behave differently and how they they change their behaviour again after they exit their teenage years.

Environmental theory
Now that we understand how our genes influence our behaviour, let us look how our environment, our experience and how we were raised influences us today.
Compared to genes, an environment changes a lot faster. Within a generation or two there are new customs and social norms. For example, I used to play outside in a sandbox as a kid, my younger brother is hooked up to a PC whole day long (and there is a decade separating my and his generation).
Some of us were raised by both parents, some have not. Some were raised by their mothers only (or mostly). Mothers know only what women think they want (a nice guy). And those values have raised their sons by. I don’t blame them, they didn’t know better. Similar happens if a father was a nice (beta) guy (which usually is). Some were raised in tight religious environment where “being nice and polite” is encouraged no matter the consequences (but you will always have the moral victory, right?).
Other part is what we have picked up while growing up. Those initial experiences. Let’s say we have two young boys (B1 & B2). They don’t have any experience with girls and are just starting. B1 and B2 were raised similarly and have similar backgrounds and experiences. For the purpose of this discussion, they can be considered tabula rasa. B1 and B2 approach two girls. B1, by pure chance of luck manages to attract a girl. His confidence grows. B2 is not that lucky and fails. His confidence decreases. B1, encouraged by his encounter, and some experience he has gathered previously, tries again. He is more likely to succeed since his attitude (confidence) and experience are attractive. On the other hand we have B2 who is not so confidant and doesn’t have B1’s experience. He is more likely to fail. Fast Forwarding the time, using same (I agree pretty simplistic) principle we have two different guys, one who is successful with women and another one who is not. It is rather shocking how, a couple of simple experiences early in our lives influences the rest.

So, which theory applies?
Simply put, both. We can’t change our genes, but learning about them, we can be aware of their influence and correct our behavior in order to get better experience.

The Game is a life changing concept. You have to become a better man in order to attract women.

—-
What do you think? Do you want certain topic elaborated more? Write in the comments.

Parts Of The Game

When learning new things it is easier when there is a systematic division into smaller parts that are then easier to understand (we are men, after all).

This model is roughly taken from Myster’s 3M model. Many will argue that 3M is outdated (and techniques there generally are) but principles are valid and have remained the same.
I will give an overview of the model whose particular sections will be covered in-depth later (e.g. the techniques).

There are three parts (phases) of the pickup:
Attraction
Comfort
Seduction

Goal of the attraction is to spark the interest. You have the power to spark attraction in any and every women if you know how to play your cards right. David DeAngelo says “Attraction is not a choice” and that is the truth.
During the Attraction phase there are certain “milestones” you want to achieve.
You have to open and start the conversation. You want to continue the conversation and reach the hooking point when you will be no longer considered a stranger who is invading their privacy. You will be perceived as an interesting person who they have just met. These two are achieved with openers (who can be direct or indirect) and an interesting stories or routines (for indirect).

Second part is building attraction. Direct Game uses emotional surges, ups and downs to overwhelm the girl (aka the target). You could say “shock” her and transmit the message “I have chosen you”. For these to succeed you have to have a strong, manly, alpha sexual frame. Indirect Game slowly makes the target realize how cool you are and how is she starting to feel attracted to you. In both cases you are being cocky and funny, busting your target’s balls, being interesting and (in)directly telegraphing your interest. Don’t chase, be chosen is a general rule (directly or indirectly). Turning social stereotypes around is a another good way.

When you notice your target is into you, you start with Comfort phase.

Comfort is built by intense rapport building. You want to connect with the girl. The amount of connection differs what do you want to achieve (SNL – basic comfort (e.g. “You are not a psychopath”), LTR – more comfort (e.g. she trusts you). During Comfort you two are getting to know each other. This is usually done during dating (although some basic comfort can be built at attraction, meeting location). At the beginning of Comfort, you are still being interesting using cocky & funny, ball busting and stories. But as this phase continues and you are getting into deep rapport, you tone it down (since you are dealing with more “serious”, intimate topics). During comfort you still need to be a man she was attracted to. You are not a needy guy, telling your sad life story. You are still a dominant male who knows what to do and what he wants (alpha). You just want to get to know her. Here are some tips:
• Be consistent with what you were saying during attraction (e.g. hold your frame and congruency), aka your vibe. If you were perceived as an adventurer, you have to show her that (talking, planning an adventure together or having a mini adventure at the spot).
• Have your own thing. Something that only exists between your two like nickname (strongly recommend) or future plans.
• Venue changing creates an illusion that much time has passed and thus she feels more comfortable with you.
• Talking about past also creates the same time passing illusion.
• Have her qualify to you by asking a qualification questions. Here are my favorites: “What is your most memorable experience that makes you what you are today?”, “Beauty is temporarily. If everyone here would look exactly like you, how would you differ?” or simple ones like “Do you cook?”. Basically you are making her qualify to you (since you are a cool alpha guy).
• Be somehow mysterious and little distant. Do not verbalize what are you doing and why. Only moment you can verbalize is an awkward one (as part of cocky and funny). I am very experienced in cold reading but my problem was that sometimes girls would know I was reading them and that would freak them out (and not in a good way).
• Comfort building routines like Cube, palm reading (and generally cold reading routines), Eliciting Values Routines, Kill/Fuck/Marry routine…

Depending how much rapport and comfort you have built, there will be a stronger or weaker connection. Weak or strong is not an absolute. If you are going for an SNL, you have to build an intense connection which will result in “I usually don’t do this” type rationalization (hamster ftw). But that kind of connection is weak considering longevity (aka LTR potential). Nevertheless, this connection has to lead either to intimacy or friendship zone. The difference is what message you have been sending (either sexual or friendly). Kino escalation helps sending a clear message (there will be a separate topic). Comfort building usually lasts the longest over multiple dates (for LTR kind of Game).

Intimacy is an introduction to seduction and is done at intimate (sex) location. Usually there is heavy making involved, fingering (foreplay) and sex itself. One important thing to overcome before sex is Last Minute Resistance (LMR). There are two kinds of “No” a girl can give you: a token no which is a shit test (successfully passed by continuing) and LMR (it-is-to-early) no. You are probably asking yourself, how you will know the difference. Well, experience, but until you have some, just treat it as a token no (better to apologize then to ask permission). If kind, soft “no” (usually the token one) starts to be louder, serious “no”, and then it is the LMR one. LMR is best solved like you don’t care (as most shit tests). “It is OK babe, I understand”. Kill romantic atmosphere (e.g. candles, music) and do something boring (like check your mail, cell phone, FB, continue watching a movie). She will be confused and slightly irritated why you aren’t chasing after her. If she comes back (and usually she will), continue, but make her to take off a part of clothing that triggered the LMR (bra, panties…). Escalation ramp by Vin Dicarlo is gold. After you have delt with LMR, last step is, well,…have fun. 🙂 Remember to be responsible. (there is a LMR routine that works every time, but you have to bribe me in order to tell you :p)

One important thing to remember is that there is no clear border between steps and phases. You don’t say at one point “now we start with intimacy, please stand by”. Whole experience has to be fluid. You have to have a plan. A Game plan.

Game Types

There are many Game types and subtypes but roughly Game types are:
• Day Game and Night Game
• Indirect and Direct Game

Day and Night Game
As you probably suspect, this is the way the Game is played depending on the time of day (and venue). 90% of all materials you are going to read and study on the Internet deals with what to do in bars, clubs and during night. These are Night Game materials and techniques. Day Game deals with approaches during a day, in everyday situations, like coffee shops, super markets, street, gym…

The difference between the Games is the pace.
During night, at clubs and bars, girls are expected to be approached, flirted with and picked up. Main strategy of the Night Game is to differentiate yourself from the dozens of guys who are doing the same thing (usually nothing and if something, needy and wrong). David DeAngelo said that “night clubs are a virtual reality”. Social dynamics in clubs are not real, everyday dynamics. They are much faster and aggressive, it is normal to meet strangers, talks to them, dance with, kiss them, and SNL. Thus Night Game has a much faster pace.

Day Game is meeting women during the day, while they are living their “normal”, boring, everyday lives. Things that are normal during night are not so common during day. Women are not expected to be flirted with or picked up during the day. Venue for the Day Game is everything, from streets to malls, from buses to libraries, virtually any social event (except clubs, when you are “going out”). Using same approach that is normal during the night might be (and usually is) devastating during the day (nags for example).

When there is a difference in gaming style that is considering in showing your intentions, there is Direct and Indirect Game.
Direct Game explicitly sends a sexual message and telegraphs interest in the girl. Direct openers range from simple “Hi!” to “You look sexy”. Direct Game is much more charged with energy and much faster paced than Indirect. Indirect Game relies on not showing interest until a girl shows interest first (but you are interesting and attractive). To use these descriptions, in Indirect Game you are trying to sell yourself and convince her that she needs you, in Direct you are the one making a choice. Direct Game is thus more suited for Night Game and Indirect for Day Game and other social occasions. Currently, there is an upcoming trend that is a mixture of both.

I suppose you are thinking “Which one is better?”. Each type has its ups and downs, place and time. Direct game is faster and produces results faster, but it burns the sets faster (you will open more sets, but most of them will end up rejecting you, especially if you don’t calibrate well). With Indirect you will have to invest much more time, which, if miscalculated and you get rejected, will end up wasted. Direct plays more a numbers game then Indirect. Indirect is slower and considered easier and more suitable for beginners. Direct leaves less room for error, requires tighter Game and more experience (more confidence).

Night Game is more usual one since it is an expected place for the pickup. Both Direct and Indirect can be played during the night, although I would give advantage to the Direct because of time constraints and since it is more physical (more kino), it is better suited for the clubs (which are loud and suitable for dancing). Indirect is much more based on talking, thus more subtle for the day and social gatherings (exception is bars).

So, which Game is better? That depends on your personality type. I personally don’t like or have time to go out to clubs every week but meet new people all the time. This is why Day Indirect Game suits me more. This doesn’t mean I don’t game during the night. Most of the principals are the same for all types, there is only a matter of pacing and calibration. When there is a difference, I will note it, but generally, I will be talking about Day Indirect Game.

Another point I want to address is the quality of women you meet during day and night. During night, quality is not as high (in terms of LTR possibilities) but things escalate much faster. During day, it is the opposite. I have hooked up with models during the night, but couldn’t date them or consider them more then nice accessory. During day I picked PhD or MBA chicks, but things took ages to escalate. Currently I am mixing with 70% Day and 30% Night Game (just because of the logistics and time constraints mentioned before).

Recommended reading is:
Bang (by Roosh) for night game
Day Bang (by Roosh) for indirect day game
Daygame Nitro (by Krauser) for direct day game (advanced stuff)

Chasing or Being Chased? (Being A Nice Guy Who Really Cares)

Women are much, much better at the Game then we are (at least before we learn it).
They are naturals. Why?

While we, as boys, played football (stereotypical, isn’t it?) what did girls do? They played “moms”, “housewives”, “teachers”, they chatted and gossiped. They practiced their social skills. They quickly learned the rules of social dynamics (which for most part we know as Game). If Game would be described in one sentence, this would be it:

“Game is using women psychology on women!”

And most of them are really good at it (even those who are not are better then most men).

Here is an example that came from my friend.
He is a nice guy, really nice guy. And he thinks like one. He thinks like a man, and that is logically. Women think differently – emotionally. This doesn’t mean they are illogical, but it is emotions, not logic, that drives them. Common Game example would be buying a girl you are interested in a drink at a bar (after approaching, of course). Nice Guy’s (logical) thinking would be: “I bought her a drink, (logically) she should be grateful”. Her thinking would be: “I really don’t care about the drink that much, this guy is giving me the creeps”. One of my female friends is a really good gamer. She does a lot of Game stuff intentionally with excellent performance. She told me “The best drink can’t compare to a good story”. Stories have emotions, drinks don’t.

I derailed a bit. Here is my friend’s example (let’s call him Andy from now on):
Andy’s sister introduced him to a friend of her’s and there was instant chemistry (let’s call her Mia). They liked each other, but she started playing him and giving him shit tests. Shit test is a test where HB test a guy in order to asses his congruence and to see how much she can influence him. Nice Guys do as asked thinking (logically) that this will please a HB, but in reality they lose any attraction they had. In order to understand what is a shit test and what is not ask yourself: “Would I do this for my colleague or not very close friend?” or “Does doing this make sense?”. A bit more comprehensive rule of thumb is this: If a woman is making a request of a man and it is the sort of request that you would normally grant if one of your close male friends was making it, it is not a test and should not be treated like one. On the other hand, if a woman makes an uncivil demand of you, it may or may not be a test, but in either case, it is best treated with contempt and ignored.

More on shit tests read this and this (both female writers). (brought by Igniss).

He was, like any Nice Guy, complying with her tests. Luckily, Andy is not stupid, so he put his foot down at one point (resulted in Mia accusing him of a lot not nice things). This resulted in Mia not loosing interest in him, but she was still playing games. Andy tried sorting things up and tried to arrange a meeting (despite my advices). There were some logistical issues (they live in different cities and it is a holiday season). So the “issue” was left unsolved. Andy was at a social gathering where he noticed Mia. She noticed him, but pretended she didn’t. At one point she had to walk by Andy and he used this opportunity to say “Hi”. She pretended she didn’t hear him. (comment: he broadcasted interested, she ignored, making him chase her; nothing unusual when HB knows you are after her) While they were standing as a part of the gathering, Mia was evading eye contact. (looking disinterested, more chasing) Andy then called her by name and said hi. She responded. (because it would be awkward ignoring him further, this was not a nightclub but a social event; others know they know each other) But after that she turned her head away. (“Chase me a little bit more!”) Half an hour later, Andy walked to Mia. (“See, I knew he would come”) They started a conversation where Mia told him she doesn’t want to talk here. (I hope you are getting this by now) Andy had enough (finally), took Mia aside and started talking. She said to ignore everything she is saying because she had a drink or two. He called her on her BS (good job) and said he only wants a minute of polite behavior. He asked her if there is anything they need to discuss (referencing to all shit test hoops she was making him jump through). Mia said: “I don’t know. Do we?”. Andy told her it was his question and he is expecting an answer. She asked again “What was the question”. (unless she was hammered, and I don’t think so, she was BS-ing) Andy’s answer was brilliant: “I asked for a minute, and that minute has passed. Good bye” and he walked away. (nice) She messaged him later that she is coming to his city and she would like to meet him (but only if he behaves). (still interested, but presenting another shit test) He responded arranging logistics ignoring her comment.

Andy’s finish was brilliant, but his behavior in general was not congruent (first you are chasing, then you are not tolerating shit any more). This is why Mia is still interested in him but giving him hard time (playing with his emotions).

What he could have done better?
First recognize the facts – she is interested and she is testing you. Being interested is something that can be used to further increase attraction and make Mia stop playing games. Test should be handled like shit tests. See how big hoop is she has presented and then find a equal or bigger one for her. It is OK to jump through a hoop as long as she jumps first and as long as you stay congruent with your behavior (“Is this something I usually would not have problems doing?”). Another possible response is to ignore the test and proceed like it didn’t happen. This also sends a powerful message that you have your way and will not be played with. A mixture of both is optimal.
Second thing is to act. Use her interest to boost attraction and blaze through her shit tests. Instant attraction.

Back on the subject of why being a Nice Guy (or a my personal favorite – Being Yourself) won’t work. It is not attractive. Women *DO NOT* want someone nice, they want someone who is going to attract them, someone who they feel safe with (“If you are jumping through her hoops like a little puppy, will you be able to resist some real danger?”). Guys, give them *THAT* man.

Is it normal that women don’t want nice guys? Logically no, but this is not how Game is played.

And yes, Nice Guys always finish last.

Social Status

We as a species are social creatures. As social creatures we tend to live (especially today) in large groups. As within every group, sooner or later, some kind of hierarchy occurs. At work, you have your boss who has his boss and so on. At home you (usually) have a father who is “the boss” then mother, then children (at least until they reach puberty). In social situations (or better say circles) some people are considered more cool then others. One is more cool if his/her social status is higher. Also, people have no problem accepting their social status even if it is not high (or as high as they would have wanted).
Before I start with the social status and the Game, here is one experiment I read about:
There were 50 students participating in the experiment. Each student was given a card corresponding with number 1 to 50. Students did not know what their number was. Each student taped his card to his forehead so that everybody else could see it. Students were told to pair with the highest possible number. Soon, students with higher numbers noticed high interest. Students who realized their number was lover (no great interest), started compromising and looked for not-so-high numbers. Soon, hierarchy was formed and students roughly paired with equal numbers.
If you still haven’t figured out, substitute numbers with social status and you basically have social dynamics 101 figured. Only difference is how that number is gained.

Outer Game is all about gaining social status. Note, I am not assuming your social status is low, but when entering completely new group, it is not high either (remember first day at your first work).
Inner Game is about quality (being a better person), Outer Game is presenting those qualities in order to gain social status.

When girls bang rock stars in the backstage, they are banging their social status.

How to gain social status?
There are a lot of ways you can gain or loos social status. Some are:
(Self-)confidence
Looks
Body Language
Playful attitude, cocky & funny
Not being needy and clingy
Be interesting
Be a leader
Building and releasing tension (by being unpredictable)
Don’t chase, let them chase you
Speak slowly with deep voice, use pauses

I will work all these subjects as separate topics. For now, just get the idea what is social status all about. It is the key to attracting women. As David DeAngelo said, attraction is not a choice.