Example Of Frame Control

I have written about frame control previously and how once you establish certain vibe, holding it is what makes or breaks seduction and relationships. Here is an example that happened last week:

I was out with my prime girl (PG) in rotation listening and dancing to live music my good friend was performing. Unfortunately, I didn’t consider that I met another girl (AG) at that time also in my rotation via same friend. As my luck turned out, she was there. I was dancing seductively with my prime girl pretty much whole night and there was much more going on under the table. As night was coming to a close, second girl came to my table.

AG: “Hi, what are you doing here?”
Me: “Same thing you are, listening to ”
(At that point it clicked that she could have been here whole time. When I saw her I kept my calm as nothing wrong was going on.)
Me: “How rude of me. This is…”
(They shook hands and exchanged polite “Hellos”)
AG: “It was nice seeing you. I will be going now, it is late.”
(It was around 2 AM)
Me: “Really? Late? You are really getting old.”
(She had birthday last weekend turning big 30)
AG: “You know me. Cya”
Me: “Cya”

Afterwards I took my PG to a balcony above the club and had my fun with her. Later we came back to my place for seconds. When I was going to bed around 6 AM I noticed a mail from AG. I read it next afternoon:

AG: “So, you brought a date to place where you could have, at least, asked yourself if I was going to be there. What can I conclude from this except that you don’t care?”

What would you do? How would you respond? Would you respond?

Ok, you have your answer. Here is mine.
Well, I thought of possible responses. If you don’t know what to say, usually it is best to  say nothing. But, in this situation, saying nothing would result in her dropping the ball. She wasn’t hooked enough for just silence to work. Another thing you can try is to evade the question by changing the subject. I also didn’t want to do that since my frame is more masculine than aloof one. I don’t run. Absolute worst thing would be to apologize, that’s what beta nice guy would do. I didn’t do anything wrong. I never promised her anything and explaining would result in drama she was trying to get me involved in. I also didn’t want to lie to her. I don’t like lying and try to avoid it, especially about stuff like this (little white lies don’t count). I’ve could have said something like “Do you really believe that I don’t have any other female friends in my life? So, you are going to be jealous about each and every of them? I don’t need this.” This is a textbook deflection and turning the tables (suddenly she is explaining herself). This would have worked since I have stronger frame, but this would involve lying and I wanted to find more clean (and alpha) solution.
I came up with this.

Me: “If I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t spend time with you.”

What is so good about this sentence? First it is shorter than hers. You don’t want to write longer responses than she does, at least not on regular basis. Secondly, I gave her something she lost – comfort. Also, it is absolutely true. There is no groveling or begging. Trying to explain or apologize. And it is about me.

This sentence reminded me about famous “You make me a better man” compliment. I suggest watching this clip. It is as alpha as it gets. You can find whole analysis here. She responded with:

AG: “Indirectly connected to this topic, do you know you leave a very slutty impression about yourself?”

Here, she is still any but can’t grab to anything from my response and is asking for more material. This is precisely why your messages should be short and clean. Additionally, she demonstrates the lack of basic understanding the difference between male and female notch count. She is judging me using “female logic”.

Me: “And cheeky, frivolous, elusive, impulsive, passionate, unpredictable, exciting, playful and other reasons you adore me. And don’t forget arrogant.”
(Notice a list aloof qualities that are sorted from more negative to more positive ones. And last one being a mixed one, that girls love. Again, I am not qualifying to her.)

AG: “And sometimes witty and funny. 🙂 Don’t forget selfish, another adorable quality. :P”
(Notice how far conversation has progressed from her being angry to now being amused. I didn’t respond. Next followup is even more interesting.)

AG: “We are really communicative last few days.
I am annoyed by this way of communication because it doesn’t solve things. And I like to have things concluded. Otherwise I complicate my life. 😉 (She cares, if she doesn’t she wouldn’t bother about things being solved or not. Also, I tease her a lot that she has a tendency to complicate everything.)
I was slightly angry at you because I expect a certain level or thoughtfulness and tenderness. And I am not that not jealous. 😛 But what can I do about that…
(She is almost apologizing. Her hamster is not allowing her to really apologize.)
Basically, you know I find you interesting (Really? I wouldn’t know?) (btw, not only for qualities such as playfulness or excitement but also because you are a deep person, you have strong will and other thing) and kind, but we are looking for different things. I need closeness and you want to experiment with always new experiences. Do you agree?” (These two qualities are not opposite or contradict each other.)

I could have written something like “A little jealously is not bad. And more closeness needs to be earned.” And she would have worked for it. She was looking for an excuse and my conformation to terminate this relationship (or at least not to progress further. She was not ready to do it herself. She was to hooked. But she is looking to settle down with slower life. I am not. She would need much more work and I she is worth it. Because of that, I decided to let her go. I responded with:

Me: “I agree.
Good luck and one parting gift (something every women should listen to):

Girls, if you want to keep a man around you need to boost your feminine essence. To do so I recommend the following:

  • Read The Rules Revisted and be prepared to learn from it rather than salve your ego by rejecting it. If you disagree with any post there it means you are wrong.
  • Change your diet away from man foods. Get more fresh vegetables, fruit, water, white meats.
  • Stop drinking alcohol. Really, try to entirely cut alcohol out of your life. If you must drink, avoid beers and lagers at all costs. More than anything else, alcohol and cigarettes ruin a girl’s hormone balance.
  • Don’t lift weights, circuit train or jog. Which girls have the most sexy feminine bodies? Yes, dancers, aerobics instructors and pilates girls. Joggers always look like shit.
  • Take pleasure in learning to cook and other girly hobbies. Make a real skill out of it. It’s so easy to set yourself apart from, and above, the crowd of girls with androgynous or masculine hobbies.”

I wanted to stay in good relationships with her. You never know when life will bring you together again. Never burn bridges behind you. If she is going to work on herself to become a better women, I might sample the change once. In her view, I exited as a very interesting and quality guy who is, unfortunately for her, looking for something different. She might come back. I only need to want her to come. And that is all I am looking for.

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Feminism And Manosphere

Feminism is an extremely popular topic within today’s manosphere’s more experienced bloggers. I understand feminism is ruining today’s women by giving them delusions that everyone is equal. Well, as communism was wrong by promoting equality, so is feminism. We are not equal. Not as individuals, not as sexes. Both sexes have their strong and weak points. I don’t think women are weaker or lesser sex, just that both sexes are more suitable at certain tasks. Both men and women have their roles to fill and are equally important to achieve a healthy family and life. We are like yin and yang, fulfilling each other. I’ve been watching documentaries about Amish and I’m pleasantly surprised how each and every one in their culture has its place. And how man’s and woman’s roles are defined and everyone understands their importance. Maybe our “advanced” culture can learn something from them.

Problem with today’s women could be summarized as “grass is always greener on the other side” meaning “men are doing all cool stuff”. They underestimate their importance. Women are said to hold three corners of a household. But taking care of their family is not cool, right? So they embark to try “the cool stuff”. In order for women to succeed in a “man’s” world, they need to adopt man’s skill set thus making them more like men and less like women. Women today are less and less feminine, they have lost basic family values and virtues (such as being family oriented). They have lost basic feminine skills like taking care of their loved ones like cooking. I know how to cook and I don’t need anyone to do it for me. But as a stereotypical women’s skill, cooking is essential knowledge women needs to have if she wants to please her man (and she does). And it is becoming a rarity. On the other hand men are getting less and less masculine.

And what does this has to do with manosphere?
There is a trend within the manosphere that almost every more experienced member of the community is rambling about feminism. I understand this is a hot topic, and you have probably said everything you had to say about basics. But, we, younger guys are getting more value from a post about latest notch or something new you have tried than how feminism is ruining the world. Also, more and more new bloggers (forum posters) are getting sucked into the subject just because it’s popular. Guys, yes, feminism is hurting but concentrate on basics and share your experience (thanks to those who do).
Only way you can fight feminism is to show young guys how to become men.

New Year, New Beginning

Happy New Year
It is new year and time for new beginning. Therefore, I have decided to move blog to new address, this one you are reading right now.
Wordpress is more flexible than blog.hr and since I am rarely at my PC these days, I need more flexibility and iOS compatibility.
This should result in more posts.

Old posts have been moved, but there might be some broken links. Old blog is still available at http://morphy.blog.hr/.

I hope you will continue reading.

Men Are Getting Weak

Last week I was hanging with some of my female friends. Whatever some of the bloggers in the Sphere tell you, never burn your bridges. This is the number one rule of networking. Don’t burn bridges, just don’t invest too much time. One of those two was recently married and the other is in a LTR of six years. Both know about the Game (one of them actually introduced me to the concept). While girls were chatting about some girly stuff, I spent time with their guys. Somehow, we came to the topic of relationships. And those two guys started joking how their women are making all decisions. “My girl gives me the RC and asks me what I want to watch. I know this is just a token question since we end up watching something she wants.” Other guy said “Wen we go to the cinema, she always chooses the movie we are going to watch”. Then one of the girls interrupted “Honey, it is not true you don’t have a choice. You can pick the cinema we are going to.” All four started laughing. I felt disgusted. They continued on and it was clear my friends were those in control of their men. Since then I started noticing a growing trend where guys are behaving like whining pussies. I thought this was only happening in western countries where feminism is strong like States or UK, but not here in Croatia. I didn’t know our men are pussy wiped that much.

Who is wearing pants in this relationship?

Who is wearing pants in this relationship?

Then I wrote last night a story of my friend who has a similar problem. I feel sad for him when the solution for his problems is only to hold his frame and not take her shit. This is a big “only” I have been fighting him with. But I feel I am loosing the battle. Some guys just can’t be helped. It is sad when guys choose women over friends and family. I only hope one day he will realize the truth.
Today I was reading some blogs and I came to this article. I was shocked again. Igniss, a Croatian Game blogger, did a nice comparison and why more and more men are choosing to exit the sexual market. Because it is easier. A guy can get instant (but artificial) sexual satisfaction from masturbation or porn. No Game is needed. Success is guaranteed. Price is constant. No risk. Those guys spend their time “hanging out” and “socializing” with virtual friends who have similar believes. Usually it is playing video games all the time. It would be nice if this was some distant problem that didn’t affect me, but my younger brother is starting to show sings. And he was a bigger player than I was a couple of years ago. What happened?

I feel sad and disturbed for future men who decide to remain boys. There is only one solution.

Get out of comfort zone and start behaving like men!

The Art Of Misery

I have a friend. His life is tough, really tough. He went through some things I wouldn’t want my greatest enemy to go through. He made mistakes, mistakes that participated to the sum of his life. But who hasn’t? He is a good person, too good for his own good. And in life we live today such persons get punished for being good. Is being bad the solution?

He was in a happy long term relationship a couple of years ago. His girl got pregnant and they got married. He got a beautiful son. And he was happy. His, now wife, for some reason was not. But he, as a good guy he is, tried to be even nicer. He worked even harder to be the best provider. She demanded even more. He worked even more. Humans are miserable animals. We believe if we do the same thing harder, things will be better, but they won’t. Change is what makes things better. He snapped. He got divorced. Splitting almost killed him because he loved and still loves (as of today) his now ex wife. He adores his kid. Who wouldn’t? I love his kid. But a child needs a stable family. His will never have.

Family is always there for us. And we, children grown up, try to be for them. But there comes a point in life where life seems unfair and our loved ones go away. It is sad but normal part of life. We have to step in to help. But there is a void that, in order for life to feel normal again, needs to be filled. We try to become providers in stead of our fathers for our family. We start to be mentors in stead of our fathers to our siblings. We start to work harder. Humans are miserable animals. We believe if we do the same thing harder, things will be better, but they won’t. Change is what does. We can’t live other peoples’ lives in stead of our own. This has nothing to do with selfishness but no father or mother would want our lives spent in name of theirs. Some voids have to be accepted and lived with.

He found love again. Like at the beginning of every relationship they played games. Games of courtship and getting to know the limits of other and relationship itself are a normal part of any beginning. But they couldn’t stop. When their love was mature and it was clear to everyone they are crazy about each other, they were still driving each other mad by games and drama. She happens to love drama and he happens to love her. They were splitting and getting back together on numerous times. Humans are miserable animals. We believe by doing the same things harder, things will be better. Now, they are split apart for last time but still together. Guys when having tough times tend to run to places they were happy. To women. There is nothing like a warm and tender women’s bosom that can calm a man. The same is leadership and decisiveness women seek in men. When there is missing, warmth turns to drama because there are no limits and women tend to test them. Always. Drama provides the same emotions as a decisive man – excitement.

Change.
Change is the only cure for solving problems. It is hard to change. It is easier to escape to moments of happiness (drinking, drugs, ignoring problems…) and, in the mean time, work harder on doing the same thing. Same thing we are so good at. Being miserable. We humans are miserable animals indeed.

I thought of finishing this article with last sentence. But that would be pathetic. There is a way to fight misery. Change. How? Start small. Remove or contain sources of misery. Set priorities. The moment a women is a number one priority, and she knows it (and she will) you become number two. Number one is everything else. Priorities – yourself (health, psychical and mental), family and friends then women. Don’t think you can tackle all areas simultaneously. Start by priorities. First, change yourself by start living healthier – exercise and read books. You can’t help others if you are a mess. Second, take care of your family and friends. When everything is settled attend to your women. Set her limits. She wants it. Don’t be a jerk (no, being bad is not the solution), don’t be a nice guy either. Find a middle, be a man who is a decisive leader. A masculine man. Don’t sell yourself short for a pussy. If you tell me you love her more than yourself, your family and friends and you believe it deep down, you, my friend, will be miserable for the rest of your life. And sooner then later, you will be alone. Pathetic, bitter, broken and alone. Consider this as my final warning.

Misogyny

Many will say that once you take the red pill, you have to start hating women. This is not true, at least for the most of us.
Unfortunately, not everyone is ready to take the pill and put an effort that changing your life requires. Also, after realizing and acknowledging the truth, there is a period of frustration. Suddenly, all things you believed, happened to be false. Your world turned around overnight. Again, person who is not strong enough to start life changing process, will take the easy way and became a hater.
Those who start working on themselves will realize one inalienable truth:

Women are not as precious and rare every man thinks they are.

Especially when you see how efficiently routines and materials work. Women will stop to be a mysterious object of desire that is out of your reach.
You will also feel a certain sadness towards women. Their only power is sexual, which has a limited lifespan (their biological clock tends to clock out sooner than ours). Also, they lose most of or all of their power once they give it to a man (or man has taken the pill). They are also attracted to jerks, who abuse them and they tend to rationale it. They are so insecure and lost in the world without someone to guide them, and they are programmed to like it.

One large consequence of the Game is that you stop appreciating women as you used to when you didn’t understand them. You tend to put them at their place and not take them as seriously as you used to. It is similar as when you start with a new hobby. You are so eager to try everything and now. As time passes, novelty factor (or lack of it) takes over and hobby is not as exciting as it used to be.

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What is your opinion on the subject? Write them in comments.

The Dateplan

So you managed to get a girl’s number. Great! What do you do now?
Next step is to meet her. And before that? Arrange the logistics of the meeting.
Let’s say that you have managed to build enough attraction when you have met her and used a couple of routines that she now finds you interesting. One of those that you should have used is a funny nick name. This is an essential link that will enable a smooth transaction into new conversation.

When do you do it? If I get a girl’s number (or FB or mail) during weekend, I usually contact them on Tuesday. Do not contact them, under any circumstances the same night or following morning. Also, don’t, after she gives you her number, “check if it works” or “I will call you so you can have mine”. Just don’t.

So, should you call or text?
Calling is dead. Today girls text, text and text some more. They don’t call. I tried calling, but it didn’t work as I would have wanted it. I prefer calling when there is some relationship going on and I can build rapport that way easily.
So, how complicated text should be?
As simple as possible, but with a some kind of twist. The twist comes from the nickname you gave her. Or the something you two came up with. Or from something you have been teasing her about (note, never tease about physical look, they tend to cry). The text should be about the logistics.
Here is an example:
Me:
Hi _insert nick name here_, _reference to the tease_ (e.g. Still planning on killing that girl? Should I start avoiding your part of town?) (The tease is a small bait that she has no problem answering to. It also helps you to see if she is near her phone and how quickly she responds. The quicker the better, reverse doesn’t apply.)
Her: _Answer to the tease_ (e.g. Nah, I have bigger plans in mind like blowing something up) (Depending how rich (playful) her answer is, you will know how hooked she is. Also, how fast she answers. The more, the better, but reverse doesn’t apply.)
Me: _Reference to the answer_ (e.g. Great, now I am on a FBI’s watch list.) _Transition from the reference to the logistics_ (e.g. I think we should discuss details in person. Coffee Saturday afternoon? I will send you details a couple of days before) (Short and simple. Don’t do long texts because they are better then you are. Jokes don’t sound good because you can’t calibrate and use your body language. The more you text, the more chance you have to screw something up. Also, notice that I didn’t ask for the permission (Would you like to…). I am polite enough to use a question mark but that can be changed into comma (calibration). Also, I haven’t ended my text with the question (keeping momentum going – I am telling her what to do)

Day before (or same day) I text with the details.
Me: Tomorrow, XXXX hrs, _place_
She: Ok, cya (Her text just came as I am writing this 🙂)

So, you have a solid basis to start with. She likes you. If she didn’t she wouldn’t answer your text (or would give you incorrect number).
If girl doesn’t show up (flakes) or cancels in last minute delete her number and newer speak to her. Do not believe any excuses unless you have slept with her (and then same rules often applies). If she makes an effort (such as contacting you) then give her another try.

The Date
First rule of date is to have a plan – a dateplan. Plan has to consist of activities you two are going to do. If you are thinking on the spot, you will be insecure and not a leader. Be prepared. Here is an outline of mine.
I don’t do “regular” dates (go to dinners). I meet girls for a coffee at a bar (since that is very nonthreatening). There I continue with being cocky and funny (attraction build). Time has passed since she last saw you and you need to boost attraction again.
After an hour or so, I tell I have a chore to do (usually shopping) and I would like her to come along (“women’s point of view”). There are a couple of reasons for this:
1. Venue change is good for comfort building.
2. She gets an opportunity to see me in a normal environment and activity.
3. I make an adventure out of it (I suggest her what to try, “she is helping me” vibe, more teasing and comfort building).

During this, second venue, I tone down with teasing (it is less frequent) I put more emphasis on comfort (by doing this chore she gets to know my likes and I get to know her). After going through couple of shops, we sit down for another drink (usually at the mall).

During this drink I suggest another bounce, something that is more romantic (isolated), such as a walk at the park/lake/city center… I want to bounce to a location that offers me more intimacy for deeper comfort building. If she agrees (and she will if you haven’t screwed something up), I tell her that I have one more chore to do before we can leave. I buy something that I have to bring back home (like meat). I know what are you thinking, but you are wrong.

We bounce to my place (“I have to drop this, come up with me, here is hot/cold”). When we come, I show her around (“I would like your opinion on e.g. carpets/kitchen renovation/whatever”). After maximum half an hour, I suggest we go for a walk as we planned (“Enough snooping, let’s go”).
This is the catch. She was expecting me to make the move, but I didn’t. As long as you are unpredictable, you will be attractive. Second thing I wanted to achieve was to show her my place and not to make such a big deal the next time when she comes (and it won’t be for the carpets).

Then we go for a walk. During that we are in deep rapport and building more comfort. Certain vulnerabilities come up, but only a glance of them (e.g. something from childhood). I usually do the Cube or any other comfort building routine. We are getting to know each other. We are connecting. This is an excellent time for the kiss (if you haven’t done it before).

Next bounce is my place (“It is getting darker and I am cold. I would love to continue this in a warmer environment. Let’s go to my place. You have to try some excellent wine I picked up last week”).
With each bounce, you should be getting closer and closer to your place. Last, comfort building place should be (ideally) waking distance away.

When you are at your place, bring up the wine (alcohol is a social lubricant). If she refuses to drink, that is a sign she is not ready jet. If she drinks, go on.
If she is not ready jet, you can build more comfort and rappor. One thing I do if she doesn’t drink is to cook something (and have her help you) or even better, have her cook for you. Girls love to teach men do something and give advice. Second thing, we can watch some movies or play my kinect.
If she drinks, escalate to making out. In either case, have an romantic atmosphere (dimmed lights, candles, music, scents…).
During making out, you can escalate to sex.

This whole process can be spread through several dates. I seal the deal until date 3, but each date has to escalate and make progress. If it doesn’t drop her. Usually it takes 7 hours from meeting to sex, says Mystery.

It is all about planning, leading and making an illusion that everything is happening flawlessly and fluidly so she can say “I can’t believe this happened” or “I usually don’t do this”.

Have the plan!

Do you have something to add? Share your experience.