Why Does This Work?

Why does this works?
I have recommended some reading in my “Where to Start From” post that gives a theoretical background of the Game. Here are a couple of highlights.
There are a couple of theories present today, but there are two aspects that shape us to be what we are today. Genes and environment (experience).

Evolutionary theory
Let’s talk about the genes first. Genes are a product of our heritage and evolution that has helped us to survive over millions of years. And our goal, from genes’ point of view is to survive long enough to send them to new generation. As has been with each and every our ancestor (or we wouldn’t be here today). Only problem with genes is that it takes more than a single lifespan of a generation for them to change. It takes a much, much longer. Thousands of years. Genes “learn” via the process of natural (sexual) selection (survival of the fittest). OK, so, what does this all has to do with the Game?

Our genes are not prepared for living in the world we are living today.

I have already written about our genes’ heritage, their inadequacy for today’s world.

But, we have what we have. By understanding the background, we can adopt.

Women seek in men what they lack and men seek in women what they lack. Women are the gatekeepers of sex and replication. This is the value we, men, seek. But evolution has played a nice trick on them. Their initial investment is much higher than ours. To clarify this I will show a couple of examples. First example is the quantity and size of reproductive cells – eggs and sperm. Women produces one egg each month. Men produce millions sperm cells each day. Also, from size point of view (e.g. investment), women are again at disadvantage. Because of this higher initial investment, women have to be choosy about their partners. Men don’t have to. This is especially pronounced with homosexual couples. Gay couples are very promiscuous and approach to sex very early in their relationship. They also tend to change partners relatively often (e.g. bath houses). Lesbians on the other hand take a long, long time (months) to know their partner before becoming intimate (which is illogical since they can’t get pregnant).

At this point, you must be asking what women want. They require safety which they lack. Men are better at psychical activities (in general). In a Savannah environment (for which our genes were prepared over a course of millions of years) men used to hunt and provide, women used take care of the household. Again, this can be seen at usual stereotypical man and women activities – men are better at e.g. driving (visual perception in the distance), women are better at taking care of others (attention to details). Since women are looking for safety, they are screening us during the attraction phase of the Game. (Unconsciously) women are testing us if we can protect them from all dangers in the world. This is why certain characteristics attract women. Same applies to men who are attracted to outer beauty, screening for good health which is associated with (e.g. certain hip to waist ratio).

OK, what does humor, for instance, have to do with safety? One would expect that big muscles are enough to provide safety, right?
This is true to a point. Women are attracted to physical attributes, but to an extent one would expect. They are attracted to our brains, meaning intellect. Confused?
Let me introduce you to a bird. A bird where male and female are very different animals regarding looks. Female are grey and plain, while male are beautiful with lots of colors (mostly blue and green) and giant, long tail. Guessed which bird I am talking about? Yes, this is the peacock.
So, what is the use of peacocks tail? To “show off” and seduce peahen, you say. Why does it work? Yes, it is beautiful, but there must be something else? Is there any other use for this, humongous tail? Hardly. Even, it is a penalty. Because, the longer the tail, animal is less manoeuvrable and easily to be seen and caught by a predator. So, what does it mean if there is a peacock with a large tail still alive? It means he was able to survive despite his large, penalizing tail. Gentlemen (and ladies), I present you the sexual ornament. Each male animal has one. It is characterized as a part of the body which puts an individual in danger (reducing survivability) but promotes sexual encounters (increasing reproducibility). There are many examples in nature, and it is usually some sort of ritualistic behaviour and/or body part.
What is our sexual ornament? It is our brains. Studies have shown that there is no explanation, from pure survival point of view, for the amount of resources our brains need (waste) compared to the rest of our body. There must be something else. And that is reproduction. Our intellect, our ability to outsmart our environment and our competitors in order to gain sexual services is the reason women are screening for leadership or for humor. And when talking about rituals that reduce survivability and increase reproducibility, think about how teenagers suddenly start to behave differently and how they they change their behaviour again after they exit their teenage years.

Environmental theory
Now that we understand how our genes influence our behaviour, let us look how our environment, our experience and how we were raised influences us today.
Compared to genes, an environment changes a lot faster. Within a generation or two there are new customs and social norms. For example, I used to play outside in a sandbox as a kid, my younger brother is hooked up to a PC whole day long (and there is a decade separating my and his generation).
Some of us were raised by both parents, some have not. Some were raised by their mothers only (or mostly). Mothers know only what women think they want (a nice guy). And those values have raised their sons by. I don’t blame them, they didn’t know better. Similar happens if a father was a nice (beta) guy (which usually is). Some were raised in tight religious environment where “being nice and polite” is encouraged no matter the consequences (but you will always have the moral victory, right?).
Other part is what we have picked up while growing up. Those initial experiences. Let’s say we have two young boys (B1 & B2). They don’t have any experience with girls and are just starting. B1 and B2 were raised similarly and have similar backgrounds and experiences. For the purpose of this discussion, they can be considered tabula rasa. B1 and B2 approach two girls. B1, by pure chance of luck manages to attract a girl. His confidence grows. B2 is not that lucky and fails. His confidence decreases. B1, encouraged by his encounter, and some experience he has gathered previously, tries again. He is more likely to succeed since his attitude (confidence) and experience are attractive. On the other hand we have B2 who is not so confidant and doesn’t have B1’s experience. He is more likely to fail. Fast Forwarding the time, using same (I agree pretty simplistic) principle we have two different guys, one who is successful with women and another one who is not. It is rather shocking how, a couple of simple experiences early in our lives influences the rest.

So, which theory applies?
Simply put, both. We can’t change our genes, but learning about them, we can be aware of their influence and correct our behavior in order to get better experience.

The Game is a life changing concept. You have to become a better man in order to attract women.

—-
What do you think? Do you want certain topic elaborated more? Write in the comments.

Advertisements

My Place

So, you will be having a girl at your place. Be prepared and make your life easier. Here are few tips:

Have a clean place
No dirty dishes or clothes laying around. Toilet is cleaned and nothing stinks. Your place reflects yourself (as does hers). If you are treating your body like a temple (which you are), so should your place.

Have an interesting place
I have a shelf dedicated to memorabilia from parts of my life. This was not put up for the sake of Game, but I like having memories with me. But it has helped on number of occasions (DHV).
I also have a bookshelf with various books (from grammars and management literature to light reading fiction).
I have a kinect. motion controlled games are excellent source of fun and help with kino escalation.
Under my coffee table I have magazines like “Men’s health”.
Head Massager is cool and cheap.
Picture Barney’s apartment from How I Met Your Mother. He has a stormtrooper (bit geeky, but unusual) and Katana (porn collection is a bit too much) as DHV items. Not to mention that the rest of apartment looks cool and meanly.

Romantic stuff (sex facilitators)
Candles – I love candles and it sets such a romantic mood
LED furniture – modern candles. Turn lights off, LEDs on, throw couple of candles. Cool meets romantic.
Music – there needs to be a background music for the mood. It doesn’t matter which (I have banged a chick with Game of Thrones running in the background)
Scents – Attack all senses. have your place smell nice.
Always have a bottle of wine – Chick love wine. Also, have some girly drinks on stand by (for those who don’t). If she is into beer, reconsider the bang, seriously.

Is there something else you are using? I would like to her it.

The Art Of Conversation

This is a topic that supersedes the Game. It will improve your everyday, “normal” life.
Do you have problems keeping the conversation? You see your friends who can just talk about everything for hours?
Here are some tips you can try.

Be Interesting
When speaking about attraction, there are subjects that should be avoided. They are either boring and not attractive (e.g. weather) or tend to provoke quarrel (e.g. religion, politics). Talking about the job gave me some mixed results and it is a topic that will sooner or later come up. So what to do when it does?
First, never pop that question (“So what do you do for living?”). It will come by itself.

If you are in a Night Game scenario (aka clubs) say something that doesn’t make sense like (by Mystery):
-hand model (“Can’t you see how beautiful my nails are?”)
-shark wrestler (“Those great whites throw a hard punch”)
-bank robber (“And I need someone to help me with my next gig”)
-double agent (“And I need your help to seduce a high ranking official”)
“You would not believe my if I told you”

I sometimes use it during a Day Game scenario, but for the Night Game it is a must (and depending on the girl, I will tease more or less).

Then, if she insists, I will tell her what I do. But that will not be my title and job position. I will have an interesting story to tell. Here is an example:

“I really don’t like taking about my job. It is not that interesting subject. But since you asked. You see, I work for a large evil multinational company. I know what are you thinking, but it is better to be friends with them than fight them. Sue me. I work for a R&D department and when my company wants something developed, it buys it. My job is not to buy a shit.” Then I take a glass or something that is near and explain the whole process as if we were buying that something customized. It is a nice story, problem is that I can’t build any sexual aspects into it (as with my other DHV stories). But since this question usually pops early in the conversation it is OK.

Second, read. Read about what is going on in the world, your country, city, village,… Read books. It doesn’t matter what are they about, but you will be more interesting than if you only watch TV. I read a book like this just for fun. And you would not imagine how often something from that book comes up handy in a conversation (you don’t have to memories the entire book, my brain just likes to remember useless information).

Third, travel. There is no better way to have an interesting life the travelling. Travel as far as you can. I was lucky enough to see most of Europe while in high school. And that travelling (without me realizing) enriched my life. While travelling you get to experience other cultures and different way of life. And there is always going to be at least one interesting story. I didn’t realize how many I had until I started playing the Game.

Lead the Conversation
Be able to lead the conversation where you want it to go. There are two tricks that help with this.
First, open multiple threads. Open up to a couple of threads when talking. Don’t be afraid to jump from subject to subject even though previous subject was not finished. This leaves you a subject to jump back to when one finishes (or gets awkward). There are no those unpleasant silences (although silence should never be unpleasant).

Second, don’t be afraid to cut someone’s (or your’s) thread. When I see that conversation is not heading where I want it to go, I will open a new thread (thus cutting the existing one) or just say something like “This topic is boring, can’t you guys talk about nothing except…” (usually it is the job). Then they ask me what should we talk about and I have a couple of interesting topics (e.g. social dynamics, sex, etc).

The Conversation Algorithm
I was born with the art of rambling. But it took me a while to fine tune it. And I used this technique. (by B-Fusion)

Firstly, you can always have some conversation topics prepared. They can also be routines, openers and gambits. When you are an absolute beginner, use routines you read about on sites like this (aka canned material). Then from time, as you get better, you will modify these materials and start making yours. Example would be the customized “job story” with DHV spikes (or any DHV story based on your experience).

Secondly, become a good listener. Communicating is not only exchanging information. It is also noticing how others interpret exchanged information. That is an area women are usually better then men. One can easily improve this by analyzing key words in sentences. Let me give you an example. HB: “I just came from trip where I was visiting my aunt in Paris”. You can start at least three threads from this sentence about: trip, aunt and Paris. E.g. “You travel a lot?”, “Having relatives abroad is handy, I have some in…?” or “I didn’t know you were part French.”, “I was in Paris…” or “I would like to visit Paris, how is it?” or another million Paris related topics. This is an excellent way to jump to another topic. You might have noticed that not all key words are equally important. Trip to Paris carries much more importance then having an aunt there (it is more important for the HB). But they can be equally used to continue conversation.
When using this technique (and conversing in general) don’t machine gun questions. Conversation in not an interview (although good interviews should not machine gun questions either). Ideally, ask your question then rumble about something. Then rumble some more and then ask another question. This is how natural conversation looks like. (by Roosh)

Thirdly, silence is your friend. There is nothing wrong with silence. Insecure people tend to find silence unpleasant (“OMG, was my performance interesting enough?”). Use silence to your advantage:
-You have time to sort your thoughts and think about what say next.
-Alpha behavior is not an insecure one and that is telegraphed by silence.
-It builds tension which is good (tension buildup and release is a key to attraction).

These are general notes about making a good conversation. I didn’t go purposely about any particular gambit or at which part of the interaction you should use what kind of conversation. These will be covered in future topics.
Try this and let me know if it helped.

Conversing emotionally
This chapter was written about a half year later then rest of the article.

An absolute must when conversing with girls is to converse emotionally. That means using and choosing words that are different enough in order to induce emotions. Instead of saying good, say extraordinary, fantastic, incredible. If you love something, say (madly) addicted to. Put life in your words. Show you have vocabulary. If you don’t, read and read some more. You get the idea.
OK, so you know which words to pick. Now, try mixing them up so that they are somehow contradictory. Use extremes. For example, if I need to borrow something I say: “Do you mind me stealing this from you for couple of minutes?”. Or “I am such an arrogant bastard. And you are madly addicted to me for that”. Try to achieve emotional swings in things you do. Never be monotone. If you, for example, play some music, mix slower and faster tunes.

In order to add emotions to your speech, don’t be monotone. Change the intonation and peace of your voice as you speak. Speak slower rather than faster (you will look more confidant).

In order to be be proficient at conversing emotionally (and not look weird) you need to experiment and fine tune.

Social Status

We as a species are social creatures. As social creatures we tend to live (especially today) in large groups. As within every group, sooner or later, some kind of hierarchy occurs. At work, you have your boss who has his boss and so on. At home you (usually) have a father who is “the boss” then mother, then children (at least until they reach puberty). In social situations (or better say circles) some people are considered more cool then others. One is more cool if his/her social status is higher. Also, people have no problem accepting their social status even if it is not high (or as high as they would have wanted).
Before I start with the social status and the Game, here is one experiment I read about:
There were 50 students participating in the experiment. Each student was given a card corresponding with number 1 to 50. Students did not know what their number was. Each student taped his card to his forehead so that everybody else could see it. Students were told to pair with the highest possible number. Soon, students with higher numbers noticed high interest. Students who realized their number was lover (no great interest), started compromising and looked for not-so-high numbers. Soon, hierarchy was formed and students roughly paired with equal numbers.
If you still haven’t figured out, substitute numbers with social status and you basically have social dynamics 101 figured. Only difference is how that number is gained.

Outer Game is all about gaining social status. Note, I am not assuming your social status is low, but when entering completely new group, it is not high either (remember first day at your first work).
Inner Game is about quality (being a better person), Outer Game is presenting those qualities in order to gain social status.

When girls bang rock stars in the backstage, they are banging their social status.

How to gain social status?
There are a lot of ways you can gain or loos social status. Some are:
(Self-)confidence
Looks
Body Language
Playful attitude, cocky & funny
Not being needy and clingy
Be interesting
Be a leader
Building and releasing tension (by being unpredictable)
Don’t chase, let them chase you
Speak slowly with deep voice, use pauses

I will work all these subjects as separate topics. For now, just get the idea what is social status all about. It is the key to attracting women. As David DeAngelo said, attraction is not a choice.