Why Does This Work?

Why does this works?
I have recommended some reading in my “Where to Start From” post that gives a theoretical background of the Game. Here are a couple of highlights.
There are a couple of theories present today, but there are two aspects that shape us to be what we are today. Genes and environment (experience).

Evolutionary theory
Let’s talk about the genes first. Genes are a product of our heritage and evolution that has helped us to survive over millions of years. And our goal, from genes’ point of view is to survive long enough to send them to new generation. As has been with each and every our ancestor (or we wouldn’t be here today). Only problem with genes is that it takes more than a single lifespan of a generation for them to change. It takes a much, much longer. Thousands of years. Genes “learn” via the process of natural (sexual) selection (survival of the fittest). OK, so, what does this all has to do with the Game?

Our genes are not prepared for living in the world we are living today.

I have already written about our genes’ heritage, their inadequacy for today’s world.

But, we have what we have. By understanding the background, we can adopt.

Women seek in men what they lack and men seek in women what they lack. Women are the gatekeepers of sex and replication. This is the value we, men, seek. But evolution has played a nice trick on them. Their initial investment is much higher than ours. To clarify this I will show a couple of examples. First example is the quantity and size of reproductive cells – eggs and sperm. Women produces one egg each month. Men produce millions sperm cells each day. Also, from size point of view (e.g. investment), women are again at disadvantage. Because of this higher initial investment, women have to be choosy about their partners. Men don’t have to. This is especially pronounced with homosexual couples. Gay couples are very promiscuous and approach to sex very early in their relationship. They also tend to change partners relatively often (e.g. bath houses). Lesbians on the other hand take a long, long time (months) to know their partner before becoming intimate (which is illogical since they can’t get pregnant).

At this point, you must be asking what women want. They require safety which they lack. Men are better at psychical activities (in general). In a Savannah environment (for which our genes were prepared over a course of millions of years) men used to hunt and provide, women used take care of the household. Again, this can be seen at usual stereotypical man and women activities – men are better at e.g. driving (visual perception in the distance), women are better at taking care of others (attention to details). Since women are looking for safety, they are screening us during the attraction phase of the Game. (Unconsciously) women are testing us if we can protect them from all dangers in the world. This is why certain characteristics attract women. Same applies to men who are attracted to outer beauty, screening for good health which is associated with (e.g. certain hip to waist ratio).

OK, what does humor, for instance, have to do with safety? One would expect that big muscles are enough to provide safety, right?
This is true to a point. Women are attracted to physical attributes, but to an extent one would expect. They are attracted to our brains, meaning intellect. Confused?
Let me introduce you to a bird. A bird where male and female are very different animals regarding looks. Female are grey and plain, while male are beautiful with lots of colors (mostly blue and green) and giant, long tail. Guessed which bird I am talking about? Yes, this is the peacock.
So, what is the use of peacocks tail? To “show off” and seduce peahen, you say. Why does it work? Yes, it is beautiful, but there must be something else? Is there any other use for this, humongous tail? Hardly. Even, it is a penalty. Because, the longer the tail, animal is less manoeuvrable and easily to be seen and caught by a predator. So, what does it mean if there is a peacock with a large tail still alive? It means he was able to survive despite his large, penalizing tail. Gentlemen (and ladies), I present you the sexual ornament. Each male animal has one. It is characterized as a part of the body which puts an individual in danger (reducing survivability) but promotes sexual encounters (increasing reproducibility). There are many examples in nature, and it is usually some sort of ritualistic behaviour and/or body part.
What is our sexual ornament? It is our brains. Studies have shown that there is no explanation, from pure survival point of view, for the amount of resources our brains need (waste) compared to the rest of our body. There must be something else. And that is reproduction. Our intellect, our ability to outsmart our environment and our competitors in order to gain sexual services is the reason women are screening for leadership or for humor. And when talking about rituals that reduce survivability and increase reproducibility, think about how teenagers suddenly start to behave differently and how they they change their behaviour again after they exit their teenage years.

Environmental theory
Now that we understand how our genes influence our behaviour, let us look how our environment, our experience and how we were raised influences us today.
Compared to genes, an environment changes a lot faster. Within a generation or two there are new customs and social norms. For example, I used to play outside in a sandbox as a kid, my younger brother is hooked up to a PC whole day long (and there is a decade separating my and his generation).
Some of us were raised by both parents, some have not. Some were raised by their mothers only (or mostly). Mothers know only what women think they want (a nice guy). And those values have raised their sons by. I don’t blame them, they didn’t know better. Similar happens if a father was a nice (beta) guy (which usually is). Some were raised in tight religious environment where “being nice and polite” is encouraged no matter the consequences (but you will always have the moral victory, right?).
Other part is what we have picked up while growing up. Those initial experiences. Let’s say we have two young boys (B1 & B2). They don’t have any experience with girls and are just starting. B1 and B2 were raised similarly and have similar backgrounds and experiences. For the purpose of this discussion, they can be considered tabula rasa. B1 and B2 approach two girls. B1, by pure chance of luck manages to attract a girl. His confidence grows. B2 is not that lucky and fails. His confidence decreases. B1, encouraged by his encounter, and some experience he has gathered previously, tries again. He is more likely to succeed since his attitude (confidence) and experience are attractive. On the other hand we have B2 who is not so confidant and doesn’t have B1’s experience. He is more likely to fail. Fast Forwarding the time, using same (I agree pretty simplistic) principle we have two different guys, one who is successful with women and another one who is not. It is rather shocking how, a couple of simple experiences early in our lives influences the rest.

So, which theory applies?
Simply put, both. We can’t change our genes, but learning about them, we can be aware of their influence and correct our behavior in order to get better experience.

The Game is a life changing concept. You have to become a better man in order to attract women.

What do you think? Do you want certain topic elaborated more? Write in the comments.


Parts Of The Game

When learning new things it is easier when there is a systematic division into smaller parts that are then easier to understand (we are men, after all).

This model is roughly taken from Myster’s 3M model. Many will argue that 3M is outdated (and techniques there generally are) but principles are valid and have remained the same.
I will give an overview of the model whose particular sections will be covered in-depth later (e.g. the techniques).

There are three parts (phases) of the pickup:

Goal of the attraction is to spark the interest. You have the power to spark attraction in any and every women if you know how to play your cards right. David DeAngelo says “Attraction is not a choice” and that is the truth.
During the Attraction phase there are certain “milestones” you want to achieve.
You have to open and start the conversation. You want to continue the conversation and reach the hooking point when you will be no longer considered a stranger who is invading their privacy. You will be perceived as an interesting person who they have just met. These two are achieved with openers (who can be direct or indirect) and an interesting stories or routines (for indirect).

Second part is building attraction. Direct Game uses emotional surges, ups and downs to overwhelm the girl (aka the target). You could say “shock” her and transmit the message “I have chosen you”. For these to succeed you have to have a strong, manly, alpha sexual frame. Indirect Game slowly makes the target realize how cool you are and how is she starting to feel attracted to you. In both cases you are being cocky and funny, busting your target’s balls, being interesting and (in)directly telegraphing your interest. Don’t chase, be chosen is a general rule (directly or indirectly). Turning social stereotypes around is a another good way.

When you notice your target is into you, you start with Comfort phase.

Comfort is built by intense rapport building. You want to connect with the girl. The amount of connection differs what do you want to achieve (SNL – basic comfort (e.g. “You are not a psychopath”), LTR – more comfort (e.g. she trusts you). During Comfort you two are getting to know each other. This is usually done during dating (although some basic comfort can be built at attraction, meeting location). At the beginning of Comfort, you are still being interesting using cocky & funny, ball busting and stories. But as this phase continues and you are getting into deep rapport, you tone it down (since you are dealing with more “serious”, intimate topics). During comfort you still need to be a man she was attracted to. You are not a needy guy, telling your sad life story. You are still a dominant male who knows what to do and what he wants (alpha). You just want to get to know her. Here are some tips:
• Be consistent with what you were saying during attraction (e.g. hold your frame and congruency), aka your vibe. If you were perceived as an adventurer, you have to show her that (talking, planning an adventure together or having a mini adventure at the spot).
• Have your own thing. Something that only exists between your two like nickname (strongly recommend) or future plans.
• Venue changing creates an illusion that much time has passed and thus she feels more comfortable with you.
• Talking about past also creates the same time passing illusion.
• Have her qualify to you by asking a qualification questions. Here are my favorites: “What is your most memorable experience that makes you what you are today?”, “Beauty is temporarily. If everyone here would look exactly like you, how would you differ?” or simple ones like “Do you cook?”. Basically you are making her qualify to you (since you are a cool alpha guy).
• Be somehow mysterious and little distant. Do not verbalize what are you doing and why. Only moment you can verbalize is an awkward one (as part of cocky and funny). I am very experienced in cold reading but my problem was that sometimes girls would know I was reading them and that would freak them out (and not in a good way).
• Comfort building routines like Cube, palm reading (and generally cold reading routines), Eliciting Values Routines, Kill/Fuck/Marry routine…

Depending how much rapport and comfort you have built, there will be a stronger or weaker connection. Weak or strong is not an absolute. If you are going for an SNL, you have to build an intense connection which will result in “I usually don’t do this” type rationalization (hamster ftw). But that kind of connection is weak considering longevity (aka LTR potential). Nevertheless, this connection has to lead either to intimacy or friendship zone. The difference is what message you have been sending (either sexual or friendly). Kino escalation helps sending a clear message (there will be a separate topic). Comfort building usually lasts the longest over multiple dates (for LTR kind of Game).

Intimacy is an introduction to seduction and is done at intimate (sex) location. Usually there is heavy making involved, fingering (foreplay) and sex itself. One important thing to overcome before sex is Last Minute Resistance (LMR). There are two kinds of “No” a girl can give you: a token no which is a shit test (successfully passed by continuing) and LMR (it-is-to-early) no. You are probably asking yourself, how you will know the difference. Well, experience, but until you have some, just treat it as a token no (better to apologize then to ask permission). If kind, soft “no” (usually the token one) starts to be louder, serious “no”, and then it is the LMR one. LMR is best solved like you don’t care (as most shit tests). “It is OK babe, I understand”. Kill romantic atmosphere (e.g. candles, music) and do something boring (like check your mail, cell phone, FB, continue watching a movie). She will be confused and slightly irritated why you aren’t chasing after her. If she comes back (and usually she will), continue, but make her to take off a part of clothing that triggered the LMR (bra, panties…). Escalation ramp by Vin Dicarlo is gold. After you have delt with LMR, last step is, well,…have fun. 🙂 Remember to be responsible. (there is a LMR routine that works every time, but you have to bribe me in order to tell you :p)

One important thing to remember is that there is no clear border between steps and phases. You don’t say at one point “now we start with intimacy, please stand by”. Whole experience has to be fluid. You have to have a plan. A Game plan.

Game Types

There are many Game types and subtypes but roughly Game types are:
• Day Game and Night Game
• Indirect and Direct Game

Day and Night Game
As you probably suspect, this is the way the Game is played depending on the time of day (and venue). 90% of all materials you are going to read and study on the Internet deals with what to do in bars, clubs and during night. These are Night Game materials and techniques. Day Game deals with approaches during a day, in everyday situations, like coffee shops, super markets, street, gym…

The difference between the Games is the pace.
During night, at clubs and bars, girls are expected to be approached, flirted with and picked up. Main strategy of the Night Game is to differentiate yourself from the dozens of guys who are doing the same thing (usually nothing and if something, needy and wrong). David DeAngelo said that “night clubs are a virtual reality”. Social dynamics in clubs are not real, everyday dynamics. They are much faster and aggressive, it is normal to meet strangers, talks to them, dance with, kiss them, and SNL. Thus Night Game has a much faster pace.

Day Game is meeting women during the day, while they are living their “normal”, boring, everyday lives. Things that are normal during night are not so common during day. Women are not expected to be flirted with or picked up during the day. Venue for the Day Game is everything, from streets to malls, from buses to libraries, virtually any social event (except clubs, when you are “going out”). Using same approach that is normal during the night might be (and usually is) devastating during the day (nags for example).

When there is a difference in gaming style that is considering in showing your intentions, there is Direct and Indirect Game.
Direct Game explicitly sends a sexual message and telegraphs interest in the girl. Direct openers range from simple “Hi!” to “You look sexy”. Direct Game is much more charged with energy and much faster paced than Indirect. Indirect Game relies on not showing interest until a girl shows interest first (but you are interesting and attractive). To use these descriptions, in Indirect Game you are trying to sell yourself and convince her that she needs you, in Direct you are the one making a choice. Direct Game is thus more suited for Night Game and Indirect for Day Game and other social occasions. Currently, there is an upcoming trend that is a mixture of both.

I suppose you are thinking “Which one is better?”. Each type has its ups and downs, place and time. Direct game is faster and produces results faster, but it burns the sets faster (you will open more sets, but most of them will end up rejecting you, especially if you don’t calibrate well). With Indirect you will have to invest much more time, which, if miscalculated and you get rejected, will end up wasted. Direct plays more a numbers game then Indirect. Indirect is slower and considered easier and more suitable for beginners. Direct leaves less room for error, requires tighter Game and more experience (more confidence).

Night Game is more usual one since it is an expected place for the pickup. Both Direct and Indirect can be played during the night, although I would give advantage to the Direct because of time constraints and since it is more physical (more kino), it is better suited for the clubs (which are loud and suitable for dancing). Indirect is much more based on talking, thus more subtle for the day and social gatherings (exception is bars).

So, which Game is better? That depends on your personality type. I personally don’t like or have time to go out to clubs every week but meet new people all the time. This is why Day Indirect Game suits me more. This doesn’t mean I don’t game during the night. Most of the principals are the same for all types, there is only a matter of pacing and calibration. When there is a difference, I will note it, but generally, I will be talking about Day Indirect Game.

Another point I want to address is the quality of women you meet during day and night. During night, quality is not as high (in terms of LTR possibilities) but things escalate much faster. During day, it is the opposite. I have hooked up with models during the night, but couldn’t date them or consider them more then nice accessory. During day I picked PhD or MBA chicks, but things took ages to escalate. Currently I am mixing with 70% Day and 30% Night Game (just because of the logistics and time constraints mentioned before).

Recommended reading is:
Bang (by Roosh) for night game
Day Bang (by Roosh) for indirect day game
Daygame Nitro (by Krauser) for direct day game (advanced stuff)

Where To Start From?

This one should be easy since about the Game you can read in book “The Game” by Neil Strauss.
This was an eye opener and I recommend it to everyone who asks the question “Why”?

You are NOT going to learn any tricks or gambits from this book (OK, maybe some). And you should not. Idea is to get thinking about the subject. The “OMG” effect.

Since I am a nerd (and you are, probably), I wanted to know why is it working. What is the theory (science) behind it. Here is some recommended reading:
The Red Queen: Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature by Matt Ridley
The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins
Sperm Wars by Robin Baker
The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene

I am also very interested in Body Language (have been studying it for a couple of years now) and I recommend you following book:
What Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Speed-Reading People by Joe Navarro

Now it gets tricky. Because there are two aspects of the game one should work on: inner and outer game.
Inner game is the biggest, baddest and trickiest. It deals with yourself. It deals with your fears, insecurities and personal problems. We are all damaged in one way or another. This is why we start playing the game. But this is a separate topic i will cover next. This part of game influences all parts your life.
Outer game deals with how to correctly represent yourself to the outer world. If inner game is superb, there is no real need for outer game. But since that is usually not the case we need those tricks, gambits and routines. Outer game is all about representation. A separate topic indeed.

This should be enough to get you started.