Rationalization

Men are logical creatures, women are emotional. This is a number one lesson any man needs to learn and understand. Consequences of such emotional approach to life is women’s tendency to judge something to be right or wrong depending how she feels at that moment. And this judgement is not set in stone. Such (“normal”) emotional swings confuse guys as we try to logically understand the situation. Well, this usually doesn’t work. She accuses you how “you don’t understand her”, and you are left confused and would like to have mind reading abilities. What does a nice guy do? He tries correct the situation. He either asks more about it (in order to logically understand), noticeably flustered, or takes the blame and starts apologizing and begging. This, irritates the girl even more.

So, what to do?
First, analyze the situation and conclude is this a shit test or not. If it is a shit test, ignore it or call her on it like you would a brandish little sister (“Stop behaving like a little brad. Pick yourself up and let’s go.”).
If it is not a shit test but something that she, logically, has reasons to be upset about and if you messed up, apologize. Don’t beg, just say you mad a mistake. Don’t lose your frame. If is something else, provide her comfort and be there for her (e.g. hold her tightly in your arms).

Usually when dealing with women, don’t listen what they say, watch how they react. Use black box approach. Women will often say things like “I like nice guys who are always taking care of me” but will then get irritated by his suffocating attention or jealousy. Girls like bad boys even though no one will admit it.

Another consequence of such emotional approach is that she will always find excuses for any mistakes she (logically) made that felt good at the time. This is called rationalization. A metaphor for this phenomenon is a hamster spinning in a wheel since she believes in excuses she has made to be true. And she keeps telling them and living with (in) them without realizing the truth and that she is not getting anywhere (metaphor for the wheel).
Some examples would be:
“I don’t usually do that!” Something you can hear after a girl sleeps with you rather quickly in order not to feel like a slut.
“I am not fat, there is just more me to love.” Khm…
“There are no more nice guys.” A commonly used by women who are about to hit the wall (meaning stop being attractive, usually happening around late twenties or early thirties). She enjoyed her youth and all attention that came with it. She has lost her youth and suddenly no one cares about her. It must be those jerks.

Listen to the hamster!

Listen to the hamster!

There is an article that goes extensively how to handle emotional swings. Stay calm and don’t give up to her storm. She will appreciate you more for not getting drawn into her emotions. You will be the man she loves.

Women should always try to be more feminine in order to keep her man. To do so I recommend the following:

  • Read The Rules Revisted and be prepared to learn from it rather than salve your ego by rejecting it. If you disagree with any post there it means you are wrong.
  • Change your diet away from man foods. Get more fresh vegetables, fruit, water, white meats.
  • Stop drinking alcohol. Really, try to entirely cut alcohol out of your life. If you must drink, avoid beers and lagers at all costs. More then anything else, alcohol and cigarettes ruin a girl’s hormone balance.
  • Don’t lift weights, circuit train or jog. Which girls have the most sexy feminine bodies? Yes, dancers, aerobics instructors and pilates girls. Joggers always look like shit.
  • Take pleasure in learning to cook and other girly hobbies. Make a real skill out of it. It’s so easy to set yourself apart from, and above, the crowd of girls with androgynous or masculine hobbies.
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Game Morality

If being a nice guy is wrong, that means I have to be a bad boy or jerk in order to be good at Game. Right?
Wrong.
Being nice and being jerk are two opposites. Hitting the golden middle is the key. What does that mean? It means not to tolerate any shit you would not otherwise tolerate. It is the same formula as when dealing with shit tests. When having a moral dilemma, ask yourself: “Is this something I would normally do/put up with if this was a guy who is someone I particularly don’t care about?”. If yes, then proceed, if no, don’t do it. It is as simple as that. Do not tolerate a woman just because she is a woman (and has a pussy). Don’t be nice just because you have to, it is expected from you or you were raised to be like that.

But all those routines, techniques and materials look manipulative. I just want to be myself.
Let me ask you a counter question. How often are you “being yourself” when with a women? Do you buy every stranger you meet at the nightclub a drink? Or you buy drinks to girls because you want to them to like you? Are you speaking what is on your mind or are you saying what you think she will like? Are you doing stuff you like or stuff you think she likes? Please, tell me how this is not manipulative or “just being yourself”?
It is not.

Being a guy who knows what he wants and is not afraid to get what he wants is the basic idea of the Game.
All those materials and routines are there to help a guy to get there. Game is knowledge and like any knowledge it is morally neutral. How you use this knowledge, is up to you.
But, let’s say, for sake of an argument, you are using your knowledge to get women to sleep with you. Is this wrong? Are they really hating being with a guy who “knows the stuff”? Again, let’s say that this is wrong and manipulative (which I don’t think is). There are only two things you can do. You can either watch and hold a moral stand or join the ride. I agree that nice guy should be “the right way”, but it is not. Time when women were courted and impressed by men has passed. Today, things are as they are. Jerks are getting all the cool girls, while nice guys are finishing last (if ever). These are the new rules of the Game.

Thirdly, girls are using same Game on us when they are checking us out. They use shit tests, wait last second to text us, flaking, playing hard to get (even she likes you)… Social conditioning at it’s finest. When I am asked what is Game all about, it is using women psychology on women.

Lastly, if you are still having moral dilemmas, here is what you can do. When you leave a girl, leave her in a better state then you have found her. As simple as that. Only try not to get overboard and to an extreme known as a nice guy.

On a personal note, I have been struggling with these questions for a while when I was starting. I believed Game was wrong, a necessary evil. That I was not being myself. But let me tell you. Today, I like my “new”, changed self. It has a better hold of it’s life. My life has been richer than ever before. You might be thinking that I am making myself believe, but my friends are seeing improvements in my life. All is not nice and pretty, though. There were consequences.

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What is your opinion on Game morality? Share your story.

It Is Not Over Until Fat Lady Sings (Or Is It?)

I am starting a new series called Lessons Learned. What is it about?
Recently, I was talking to a friend, who is also a student of the Red Pill, about those big “I get it now” moments. This series is going to be about them. I will write about them as they come and also will try to remember the old ones.

Recently I gamed a girl. I would put her as high 7. It was a very solid game that resulted in a bang after three seeings (dates?). Then she invited me to come to visit her while I was touring the coast. Why not, I thought to myself (this whole Game thing is starting to pay even more).
A day before I came to her, we texted. I wanted her to be in a sexual mood (I was expecting another bang). Since I decided to put her in MLTR category (she seemed good enough to keep – smart girl with good, tight body, living relatively close to my place, wants to learn new things that please me) and since we were already post bang phase, my Nice Guy me kicked in.
When you read all the materials about the Game, they usually end with the bang. They don’t talk about “what after” (except for the one book, on the last page, last paragraph). I agree with Neil. But the Game does not end after the bang because it is still not a relationship. What did I do wrong?
I was nice. I really wanted to help that girl. She is very intelligent and smart but shy. She is wasting her potential over-thinking about what others think about her and hiding inside her comfort zone bubble. I thought being nice (and romantic) with a push here and there would help her. I was so wrong.
Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoyed a day without gaming (it was a busy week) and spending time with a girl I liked. It was romantic day. We drank cocktails, watched sunset while entangled in each other, in the evening we went for a walk. I would stop suddenly and start dancing with her. We went to all cool places in the town looking for a place to dance. As the night was turning into morning, we started talking about all kinky stuff we are going to do to each other. Sex was a logical conclusion to the evening. She even suggested ditching last club so we can go to her place. It was on, at least logically.
We came to her place and started making out. Passionately. Suddenly, she stopped me and told she needs to go to the bathroom. I laid at the bed expecting her to jump at me when she returns. When she did, she said she was tired and wanted to go to sleep and laid to her bed. I was so confused. I started undressing her but she turned to side blocking me. Then alarms started ringing. This was “I will deny you sex” shit test. This world is so screwed. But it is how it is.
I thought to myself what are my options – I can stay or leave. I choose the latter. I dressed and said I was going for a drink. She said OK. I came two hours later, undressed and went to bed (I was travelling in the morning). When I woke, I started packing not saying a word. She asked me what it was, I just commented “There are certain things I will not tolerate”. When I finished, I went to my car, she was following me whole way trying to provoke my reaction (my body language was rock solid, unreadable). I came to the car, waved at her with a nice fake smile and drove away.
She sent me some pathetic message about it all being my fault. I ignored it.

Nice Guy died that day. Or at least the elimination process started.

A week after, I sent her a text asking her to apologize if she wants to see me again. (Back to the Game and see where this could lead. I have nothing to lose.) She did. A couple of minutes ago.
I will see where it is all going to lead, but for now, I will Game her more. That will not be nice at all.

Chasing or Being Chased? (Being A Nice Guy Who Really Cares)

Women are much, much better at the Game then we are (at least before we learn it).
They are naturals. Why?

While we, as boys, played football (stereotypical, isn’t it?) what did girls do? They played “moms”, “housewives”, “teachers”, they chatted and gossiped. They practiced their social skills. They quickly learned the rules of social dynamics (which for most part we know as Game). If Game would be described in one sentence, this would be it:

“Game is using women psychology on women!”

And most of them are really good at it (even those who are not are better then most men).

Here is an example that came from my friend.
He is a nice guy, really nice guy. And he thinks like one. He thinks like a man, and that is logically. Women think differently – emotionally. This doesn’t mean they are illogical, but it is emotions, not logic, that drives them. Common Game example would be buying a girl you are interested in a drink at a bar (after approaching, of course). Nice Guy’s (logical) thinking would be: “I bought her a drink, (logically) she should be grateful”. Her thinking would be: “I really don’t care about the drink that much, this guy is giving me the creeps”. One of my female friends is a really good gamer. She does a lot of Game stuff intentionally with excellent performance. She told me “The best drink can’t compare to a good story”. Stories have emotions, drinks don’t.

I derailed a bit. Here is my friend’s example (let’s call him Andy from now on):
Andy’s sister introduced him to a friend of her’s and there was instant chemistry (let’s call her Mia). They liked each other, but she started playing him and giving him shit tests. Shit test is a test where HB test a guy in order to asses his congruence and to see how much she can influence him. Nice Guys do as asked thinking (logically) that this will please a HB, but in reality they lose any attraction they had. In order to understand what is a shit test and what is not ask yourself: “Would I do this for my colleague or not very close friend?” or “Does doing this make sense?”. A bit more comprehensive rule of thumb is this: If a woman is making a request of a man and it is the sort of request that you would normally grant if one of your close male friends was making it, it is not a test and should not be treated like one. On the other hand, if a woman makes an uncivil demand of you, it may or may not be a test, but in either case, it is best treated with contempt and ignored.

More on shit tests read this and this (both female writers). (brought by Igniss).

He was, like any Nice Guy, complying with her tests. Luckily, Andy is not stupid, so he put his foot down at one point (resulted in Mia accusing him of a lot not nice things). This resulted in Mia not loosing interest in him, but she was still playing games. Andy tried sorting things up and tried to arrange a meeting (despite my advices). There were some logistical issues (they live in different cities and it is a holiday season). So the “issue” was left unsolved. Andy was at a social gathering where he noticed Mia. She noticed him, but pretended she didn’t. At one point she had to walk by Andy and he used this opportunity to say “Hi”. She pretended she didn’t hear him. (comment: he broadcasted interested, she ignored, making him chase her; nothing unusual when HB knows you are after her) While they were standing as a part of the gathering, Mia was evading eye contact. (looking disinterested, more chasing) Andy then called her by name and said hi. She responded. (because it would be awkward ignoring him further, this was not a nightclub but a social event; others know they know each other) But after that she turned her head away. (“Chase me a little bit more!”) Half an hour later, Andy walked to Mia. (“See, I knew he would come”) They started a conversation where Mia told him she doesn’t want to talk here. (I hope you are getting this by now) Andy had enough (finally), took Mia aside and started talking. She said to ignore everything she is saying because she had a drink or two. He called her on her BS (good job) and said he only wants a minute of polite behavior. He asked her if there is anything they need to discuss (referencing to all shit test hoops she was making him jump through). Mia said: “I don’t know. Do we?”. Andy told her it was his question and he is expecting an answer. She asked again “What was the question”. (unless she was hammered, and I don’t think so, she was BS-ing) Andy’s answer was brilliant: “I asked for a minute, and that minute has passed. Good bye” and he walked away. (nice) She messaged him later that she is coming to his city and she would like to meet him (but only if he behaves). (still interested, but presenting another shit test) He responded arranging logistics ignoring her comment.

Andy’s finish was brilliant, but his behavior in general was not congruent (first you are chasing, then you are not tolerating shit any more). This is why Mia is still interested in him but giving him hard time (playing with his emotions).

What he could have done better?
First recognize the facts – she is interested and she is testing you. Being interested is something that can be used to further increase attraction and make Mia stop playing games. Test should be handled like shit tests. See how big hoop is she has presented and then find a equal or bigger one for her. It is OK to jump through a hoop as long as she jumps first and as long as you stay congruent with your behavior (“Is this something I usually would not have problems doing?”). Another possible response is to ignore the test and proceed like it didn’t happen. This also sends a powerful message that you have your way and will not be played with. A mixture of both is optimal.
Second thing is to act. Use her interest to boost attraction and blaze through her shit tests. Instant attraction.

Back on the subject of why being a Nice Guy (or a my personal favorite – Being Yourself) won’t work. It is not attractive. Women *DO NOT* want someone nice, they want someone who is going to attract them, someone who they feel safe with (“If you are jumping through her hoops like a little puppy, will you be able to resist some real danger?”). Guys, give them *THAT* man.

Is it normal that women don’t want nice guys? Logically no, but this is not how Game is played.

And yes, Nice Guys always finish last.

Every Beginning Is Hard

Let us start with that first “what is this blog about” post. Shall we?
I was a nice guy. I loved being romantic, came from patriotic family where “man is a sole provider and needs to take care of everybody” and had more money then average teenager should have. Let me just say that I bought Channel no. 5 to one of my “relationships”. I didn’t know better. I was telling myself “If I give her all attention and gifts, she is going to appreciate me.”
Almost a year ago I was in a very bad “relationship” after being stuck in a four year long terrible relationship that took me another four years to get over. Some readers familiar with the terminology would call me omega, and would probably be right. I was the nicest guy there was. I was also a straight A student, had a job, looked decently, shy but fun when you got to know me. Everything a girl would want. Right?
What a sucker I was. Luckily there is God, or karma or greater power or whatever you want to call him (or it?). One of those relationships introduced me to a book called “The Game” but told me that I was to nice for something like that and I didn’t need that. I needed it desperately. Crucial moment I realized it was my personification with fear when I noticed some girls looking at me at a festival I was attending with friends. I decided to change my life and work “on that area I am still missing out”.

You can find about a million blogs writing about the Game, manosphere, social dynamics, Venusian arts… I still haven’t found any that is written by someone who is still struggling with this. I still haven’t found one that is not written by a guru of some sorts (there are a lot of very good guys out there who have a lot to teach and I appreciate their work). Well, I want this blog to be that one. Starting from first steps and going on. We will see.

GLHF.