Rationalization

Men are logical creatures, women are emotional. This is a number one lesson any man needs to learn and understand. Consequences of such emotional approach to life is women’s tendency to judge something to be right or wrong depending how she feels at that moment. And this judgement is not set in stone. Such (“normal”) emotional swings confuse guys as we try to logically understand the situation. Well, this usually doesn’t work. She accuses you how “you don’t understand her”, and you are left confused and would like to have mind reading abilities. What does a nice guy do? He tries correct the situation. He either asks more about it (in order to logically understand), noticeably flustered, or takes the blame and starts apologizing and begging. This, irritates the girl even more.

So, what to do?
First, analyze the situation and conclude is this a shit test or not. If it is a shit test, ignore it or call her on it like you would a brandish little sister (“Stop behaving like a little brad. Pick yourself up and let’s go.”).
If it is not a shit test but something that she, logically, has reasons to be upset about and if you messed up, apologize. Don’t beg, just say you mad a mistake. Don’t lose your frame. If is something else, provide her comfort and be there for her (e.g. hold her tightly in your arms).

Usually when dealing with women, don’t listen what they say, watch how they react. Use black box approach. Women will often say things like “I like nice guys who are always taking care of me” but will then get irritated by his suffocating attention or jealousy. Girls like bad boys even though no one will admit it.

Another consequence of such emotional approach is that she will always find excuses for any mistakes she (logically) made that felt good at the time. This is called rationalization. A metaphor for this phenomenon is a hamster spinning in a wheel since she believes in excuses she has made to be true. And she keeps telling them and living with (in) them without realizing the truth and that she is not getting anywhere (metaphor for the wheel).
Some examples would be:
“I don’t usually do that!” Something you can hear after a girl sleeps with you rather quickly in order not to feel like a slut.
“I am not fat, there is just more me to love.” Khm…
“There are no more nice guys.” A commonly used by women who are about to hit the wall (meaning stop being attractive, usually happening around late twenties or early thirties). She enjoyed her youth and all attention that came with it. She has lost her youth and suddenly no one cares about her. It must be those jerks.

Listen to the hamster!

Listen to the hamster!

There is an article that goes extensively how to handle emotional swings. Stay calm and don’t give up to her storm. She will appreciate you more for not getting drawn into her emotions. You will be the man she loves.

Women should always try to be more feminine in order to keep her man. To do so I recommend the following:

  • Read The Rules Revisted and be prepared to learn from it rather than salve your ego by rejecting it. If you disagree with any post there it means you are wrong.
  • Change your diet away from man foods. Get more fresh vegetables, fruit, water, white meats.
  • Stop drinking alcohol. Really, try to entirely cut alcohol out of your life. If you must drink, avoid beers and lagers at all costs. More then anything else, alcohol and cigarettes ruin a girl’s hormone balance.
  • Don’t lift weights, circuit train or jog. Which girls have the most sexy feminine bodies? Yes, dancers, aerobics instructors and pilates girls. Joggers always look like shit.
  • Take pleasure in learning to cook and other girly hobbies. Make a real skill out of it. It’s so easy to set yourself apart from, and above, the crowd of girls with androgynous or masculine hobbies.
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Men Are Getting Weak

Last week I was hanging with some of my female friends. Whatever some of the bloggers in the Sphere tell you, never burn your bridges. This is the number one rule of networking. Don’t burn bridges, just don’t invest too much time. One of those two was recently married and the other is in a LTR of six years. Both know about the Game (one of them actually introduced me to the concept). While girls were chatting about some girly stuff, I spent time with their guys. Somehow, we came to the topic of relationships. And those two guys started joking how their women are making all decisions. “My girl gives me the RC and asks me what I want to watch. I know this is just a token question since we end up watching something she wants.” Other guy said “Wen we go to the cinema, she always chooses the movie we are going to watch”. Then one of the girls interrupted “Honey, it is not true you don’t have a choice. You can pick the cinema we are going to.” All four started laughing. I felt disgusted. They continued on and it was clear my friends were those in control of their men. Since then I started noticing a growing trend where guys are behaving like whining pussies. I thought this was only happening in western countries where feminism is strong like States or UK, but not here in Croatia. I didn’t know our men are pussy wiped that much.

Who is wearing pants in this relationship?

Who is wearing pants in this relationship?

Then I wrote last night a story of my friend who has a similar problem. I feel sad for him when the solution for his problems is only to hold his frame and not take her shit. This is a big “only” I have been fighting him with. But I feel I am loosing the battle. Some guys just can’t be helped. It is sad when guys choose women over friends and family. I only hope one day he will realize the truth.
Today I was reading some blogs and I came to this article. I was shocked again. Igniss, a Croatian Game blogger, did a nice comparison and why more and more men are choosing to exit the sexual market. Because it is easier. A guy can get instant (but artificial) sexual satisfaction from masturbation or porn. No Game is needed. Success is guaranteed. Price is constant. No risk. Those guys spend their time “hanging out” and “socializing” with virtual friends who have similar believes. Usually it is playing video games all the time. It would be nice if this was some distant problem that didn’t affect me, but my younger brother is starting to show sings. And he was a bigger player than I was a couple of years ago. What happened?

I feel sad and disturbed for future men who decide to remain boys. There is only one solution.

Get out of comfort zone and start behaving like men!

Frame Control

Last night I have spent a night with a beautiful new girl (and a new flag). After finishing making love, I tend to ask new girls “What was the moment when you decided you are going to sleep with me? What is the moment I won you over”. She answered: “I can’t really choose a moment. It is more a sum of everything. But if I had to, it would be when we were walking through doors, you opened it for me and then pushed me with your hand on the bottom of my back.” She also added: “You like to be in charge and bossy. Your messages are short and precise”. (I utilize Roosh’s policy keeping texts only for settling logistics. e.g. “Meet me at the bar at 19:00. Dress nicely.”). She continued: “You are rough, but not always.” And then she winked at me seductively.

In my transformation from a nice guy to a masculine guy, I wanted to test how far I can go with stuff I learned all over the Sphere and Internet. That usually meant doing things nice guy in me felt were wrong. But, just for sake of experimenting I kept going and pushing (since obviously nice guy mentality didn’t work). From time to time I relapsed into the nice guy (usually especially when I slept with the girl, I wanted to help her somehow). As time passed by I kept relapsing less and less and with this last girl I can happily say I don’t consider her anything more than current entertainment. Some would call it a start of misogyny. Maybe they are right. But she is having as much fun as I am. “Return them better than you found them” is a self fulfilling prophecy since they enjoy me at least as much as I enjoy them (and they get to learn a thing or two). But I am getting of the subject.

The ting I did different with this girl is not to bother myself with what is she thinking or feeling. I kept doing things that a masculine, decisive guy would. And always escalate (verbally and physically). Treat her like a black box. Don’t listen what she is saying, observe her actions. I got challenged, but I stayed congruent with the image I was presenting. That is the frame control. If you falter for a second and fail incongruently some of her shit tests, you fail. Your lose any attraction you have built and it is game over. This should not discourage you to experiment.
It is hard for a reforming nice guy, and many relapse. They set masculine frame by threatening to leave when girl has much invested (LTR), but never do. And she knows it. And when there is a threat of leaving, she flashes wit her pussy a bit and he returns. Women knows her pussy is her greatest weapon. And she will use it if she knows it works. Because you have showed her!

Let’s get to the specifics. Always be a leader and in charge. Make all arrangements and decisions. It is OK to ask her opinion, but stick to only giving her options. Don’t make her make decisions.
Ask her to oblige to your standards. She is a part of your image when she is with you. Any resistance needs to be dealt with decisively. And she will resist (thus testing you). Punish her when she is not obliging by removing your attention from her, not commenting on something she worked hard and plainly ignoring her. Tease her. It is freakishly accurate how this resembles to training a dog.
Make her commit. Small commitments (coming to a meeting place you have chosen) at first and keep going from them (kino escalation, time investment, gifts, make out, hickeys, sex).
Always be the one to stop the interaction. Interaction can be texting, conversation, date, making out or sex. This shows you are in control.
Ask for what you want to do or think belongs to you. This also starts small (“I would fancy a walk before going to the bar”) and escalates (“I want another round with you”).
Handle LMR gracefully. Don’t show you are annoyed sexually depraved AFC you probably are. This is the basics of all techniques handling LMR. Even after sex, keep your frame. She didn’t give you anything, you weren’t lucky, you don’t have to grateful. You conquered her and you took it. And she loved it. When escalating towards sex, lead her, hold her and move her. Show your strength and masculinity. Learn about how to be a good kisser and lover. There is a ton of stuff on the Internet.

Improve yourself from inside out and everything else will fall into place.

Being A Leader

Being a leader is more of an inner state that manifests outwardly.

Leadership is all about making decisions for others.

Take responsibilities for others and you will lead them.

Being a good leader is hard because you have to make risks by making decisions. You will make mistakes, but that doesn’t matter as long as you learn something from them. It is important to make a decision.

You don’t have to be a CEO or president to be a leader. Lead your peer group (you have friends – suggest some activities you can do together, organize those activities) and practice that way.

Lead men and women will follow. And they expect to follow your lead. Everywhere and every time. Especially during dates.
This leadership can be subtle (e.g. leading her by holding hands, or pushing her while opening the door) or direct (e.g. “We are going to that place”). This doesn’t mean you don’t listen to her or be a jerk. Make the decision and ask her feedback is perfectly normal.

Compare these two scenarios:

1.
He: Hi, are you up for a dinner tonight?
Her: Sure
He: Good, what would you like to eat?
Her: I don’t know
He: I don’t know either.
Her: I feel eating Italian tonight
He: Excellent, me to.
Her: Even better Chinese (note, this is a shit test)
He: Me to. Do you know a good restaurant?
Her: Yeah, let’s go ___
He: Super, when would you like to meet?
Her: 8PM
He: Great, should I pick you up or will we meet there?
Her: … (she should be rolling her eyes and regretting the whole thing by now)

2.
He: Hi, let’s go and eat something tonight. (note statement, not question)
Her: Sure
He: Good, I am up for Italian but Chinese could pass. (you can give her a choice, nothing wrong with that)
Her: I would like Chinese.
He: I will pick you up at 8PM. Be ready (I would add, “and dress nice”)
Her: I will.

First scenario was lead by her, second by him. This is the type leadership that girls are expecting.
Women are expecting men to lead. They *do not* want to be put into a leadership position. And if a guy is not leading, she is the only one left to.

What is your opinion? Write them in the comments.

How Game Becomes An Upward Spiral

It has been a while since my last post. I had some health issues but they are being taken care of.

Just a quick “motivational post” about what happens when you reach a certain (rookie) level of the Game. I would say I am pretty good at being cocky and funny and it became my modus operandi for social occasions.
Before I went to vacation, I was pinged by one of my oneits with usual “Haven’t heard anything from you in a while. Would you like to garb a cup of coffee?”. I said no problem, since I have resolved any issues I had. During the whole encounter I was interesting as I always am (cocky & funny). Soon we were tackling the topic of going out and dating. We were commenting all bad openers guys here use (most of them have no Game at all) and what they should have done. Also we were discussing what, how and why women want when going out (hint: not drinks, just interesting stories). Idea behind this discussion of ours was to subtle tell her “I get it now”. And it worked. She has good Game. She used multiple False Time Constraints (FTA) but those were just a shit tests. She could not have enough of me and leave. Eventually her phone rang and I, realizing she has to go, chased her away. Next week while I was at vacation, she was coming to the city I was just leaving inviting me to go with her and her girls out. I said no (not part of my plans). Next day she invited me to the nearby island which was halfway from my new location and where she was. I denied that invitation as well. We were supposed to go out last night bowling but because I am having mentioned health issues I couldn’t. But I invited them all to come for a drink after the game. I also invited some other friends earlier to keep me company. When they came, my apartment was already full of people (DHV, btw). And they were surprised (“Are you having a party?”). There was one girl that sat next to me and started questioning me about my apartment, my job my life and everything. I talked to her a bit, talked to others while ignoring her and never missed an opportunity to bust her balls. Everyone was laughing and having a good time. She had good vibe and was getting into me but since it was the middle of the week they had to leave. We spent another half an hour “leaving” and cracking jokes in the hall. It was fun and she is into me and I plan to continue where we stopped. Since I can’t get out to meet new people, it is nice when they come to you.

What is the moral of this story?
If you are considered a cool guy, people will come to you. And it gets that much easier. Game will reward you for your effort and it is upwards spiral from there on. Things just get better and better as well as you do. It is worth every second, every frustration, every rejection.

Game is *NOT* only about picking girls. It is about becoming a better man.

It Is Not Over Until Fat Lady Sings (Or Is It?)

I am starting a new series called Lessons Learned. What is it about?
Recently, I was talking to a friend, who is also a student of the Red Pill, about those big “I get it now” moments. This series is going to be about them. I will write about them as they come and also will try to remember the old ones.

Recently I gamed a girl. I would put her as high 7. It was a very solid game that resulted in a bang after three seeings (dates?). Then she invited me to come to visit her while I was touring the coast. Why not, I thought to myself (this whole Game thing is starting to pay even more).
A day before I came to her, we texted. I wanted her to be in a sexual mood (I was expecting another bang). Since I decided to put her in MLTR category (she seemed good enough to keep – smart girl with good, tight body, living relatively close to my place, wants to learn new things that please me) and since we were already post bang phase, my Nice Guy me kicked in.
When you read all the materials about the Game, they usually end with the bang. They don’t talk about “what after” (except for the one book, on the last page, last paragraph). I agree with Neil. But the Game does not end after the bang because it is still not a relationship. What did I do wrong?
I was nice. I really wanted to help that girl. She is very intelligent and smart but shy. She is wasting her potential over-thinking about what others think about her and hiding inside her comfort zone bubble. I thought being nice (and romantic) with a push here and there would help her. I was so wrong.
Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoyed a day without gaming (it was a busy week) and spending time with a girl I liked. It was romantic day. We drank cocktails, watched sunset while entangled in each other, in the evening we went for a walk. I would stop suddenly and start dancing with her. We went to all cool places in the town looking for a place to dance. As the night was turning into morning, we started talking about all kinky stuff we are going to do to each other. Sex was a logical conclusion to the evening. She even suggested ditching last club so we can go to her place. It was on, at least logically.
We came to her place and started making out. Passionately. Suddenly, she stopped me and told she needs to go to the bathroom. I laid at the bed expecting her to jump at me when she returns. When she did, she said she was tired and wanted to go to sleep and laid to her bed. I was so confused. I started undressing her but she turned to side blocking me. Then alarms started ringing. This was “I will deny you sex” shit test. This world is so screwed. But it is how it is.
I thought to myself what are my options – I can stay or leave. I choose the latter. I dressed and said I was going for a drink. She said OK. I came two hours later, undressed and went to bed (I was travelling in the morning). When I woke, I started packing not saying a word. She asked me what it was, I just commented “There are certain things I will not tolerate”. When I finished, I went to my car, she was following me whole way trying to provoke my reaction (my body language was rock solid, unreadable). I came to the car, waved at her with a nice fake smile and drove away.
She sent me some pathetic message about it all being my fault. I ignored it.

Nice Guy died that day. Or at least the elimination process started.

A week after, I sent her a text asking her to apologize if she wants to see me again. (Back to the Game and see where this could lead. I have nothing to lose.) She did. A couple of minutes ago.
I will see where it is all going to lead, but for now, I will Game her more. That will not be nice at all.

Chasing or Being Chased? (Being A Nice Guy Who Really Cares)

Women are much, much better at the Game then we are (at least before we learn it).
They are naturals. Why?

While we, as boys, played football (stereotypical, isn’t it?) what did girls do? They played “moms”, “housewives”, “teachers”, they chatted and gossiped. They practiced their social skills. They quickly learned the rules of social dynamics (which for most part we know as Game). If Game would be described in one sentence, this would be it:

“Game is using women psychology on women!”

And most of them are really good at it (even those who are not are better then most men).

Here is an example that came from my friend.
He is a nice guy, really nice guy. And he thinks like one. He thinks like a man, and that is logically. Women think differently – emotionally. This doesn’t mean they are illogical, but it is emotions, not logic, that drives them. Common Game example would be buying a girl you are interested in a drink at a bar (after approaching, of course). Nice Guy’s (logical) thinking would be: “I bought her a drink, (logically) she should be grateful”. Her thinking would be: “I really don’t care about the drink that much, this guy is giving me the creeps”. One of my female friends is a really good gamer. She does a lot of Game stuff intentionally with excellent performance. She told me “The best drink can’t compare to a good story”. Stories have emotions, drinks don’t.

I derailed a bit. Here is my friend’s example (let’s call him Andy from now on):
Andy’s sister introduced him to a friend of her’s and there was instant chemistry (let’s call her Mia). They liked each other, but she started playing him and giving him shit tests. Shit test is a test where HB test a guy in order to asses his congruence and to see how much she can influence him. Nice Guys do as asked thinking (logically) that this will please a HB, but in reality they lose any attraction they had. In order to understand what is a shit test and what is not ask yourself: “Would I do this for my colleague or not very close friend?” or “Does doing this make sense?”. A bit more comprehensive rule of thumb is this: If a woman is making a request of a man and it is the sort of request that you would normally grant if one of your close male friends was making it, it is not a test and should not be treated like one. On the other hand, if a woman makes an uncivil demand of you, it may or may not be a test, but in either case, it is best treated with contempt and ignored.

More on shit tests read this and this (both female writers). (brought by Igniss).

He was, like any Nice Guy, complying with her tests. Luckily, Andy is not stupid, so he put his foot down at one point (resulted in Mia accusing him of a lot not nice things). This resulted in Mia not loosing interest in him, but she was still playing games. Andy tried sorting things up and tried to arrange a meeting (despite my advices). There were some logistical issues (they live in different cities and it is a holiday season). So the “issue” was left unsolved. Andy was at a social gathering where he noticed Mia. She noticed him, but pretended she didn’t. At one point she had to walk by Andy and he used this opportunity to say “Hi”. She pretended she didn’t hear him. (comment: he broadcasted interested, she ignored, making him chase her; nothing unusual when HB knows you are after her) While they were standing as a part of the gathering, Mia was evading eye contact. (looking disinterested, more chasing) Andy then called her by name and said hi. She responded. (because it would be awkward ignoring him further, this was not a nightclub but a social event; others know they know each other) But after that she turned her head away. (“Chase me a little bit more!”) Half an hour later, Andy walked to Mia. (“See, I knew he would come”) They started a conversation where Mia told him she doesn’t want to talk here. (I hope you are getting this by now) Andy had enough (finally), took Mia aside and started talking. She said to ignore everything she is saying because she had a drink or two. He called her on her BS (good job) and said he only wants a minute of polite behavior. He asked her if there is anything they need to discuss (referencing to all shit test hoops she was making him jump through). Mia said: “I don’t know. Do we?”. Andy told her it was his question and he is expecting an answer. She asked again “What was the question”. (unless she was hammered, and I don’t think so, she was BS-ing) Andy’s answer was brilliant: “I asked for a minute, and that minute has passed. Good bye” and he walked away. (nice) She messaged him later that she is coming to his city and she would like to meet him (but only if he behaves). (still interested, but presenting another shit test) He responded arranging logistics ignoring her comment.

Andy’s finish was brilliant, but his behavior in general was not congruent (first you are chasing, then you are not tolerating shit any more). This is why Mia is still interested in him but giving him hard time (playing with his emotions).

What he could have done better?
First recognize the facts – she is interested and she is testing you. Being interested is something that can be used to further increase attraction and make Mia stop playing games. Test should be handled like shit tests. See how big hoop is she has presented and then find a equal or bigger one for her. It is OK to jump through a hoop as long as she jumps first and as long as you stay congruent with your behavior (“Is this something I usually would not have problems doing?”). Another possible response is to ignore the test and proceed like it didn’t happen. This also sends a powerful message that you have your way and will not be played with. A mixture of both is optimal.
Second thing is to act. Use her interest to boost attraction and blaze through her shit tests. Instant attraction.

Back on the subject of why being a Nice Guy (or a my personal favorite – Being Yourself) won’t work. It is not attractive. Women *DO NOT* want someone nice, they want someone who is going to attract them, someone who they feel safe with (“If you are jumping through her hoops like a little puppy, will you be able to resist some real danger?”). Guys, give them *THAT* man.

Is it normal that women don’t want nice guys? Logically no, but this is not how Game is played.

And yes, Nice Guys always finish last.