The Night Game

This is a gift from my wingman Mody.

The Night Game – a Personal Approach by Mody

Introduction

Do you know how to talk to women? How do you tackle your anxiety when approaching in order to talk to women? How to be a better conversationalist in general and with girls? How to overcome your approach anxiety? These are just some of many questions we as men have tried to answer since long time ago. Some have managed to find the right answer by chance (lucky ones), some didn’t, but for the rest of us, this is a skill that can be learned (like any other). These skill, collectively, are named the Game.

Today, one can find many theories, books, gurus and guides that help men to answer these and many more questions. If you are reading this, you are interested in the subject of being more successful with women. Post you are reading right now is a collection of my experiences that I want to share so I can give you guys another tool. My goal is not to present a theory or a role model but something that might help you improve your performance with girls from my experience. If I am able to help one person to reach his full potential and improve his social experience then this document I have written has fulfilled its goal.

Who am I?

You can call me Mody, I am an African guy who lives in one of the ex-Yugoslavian countries, am in my late 20’s. I moved here almost 3 years ago and since I came here I was gaming day and night, but to be honest I am more talented in the Night Game and that’s what am going to try to help you with in document.

Night Game Atmosphere

For all of you, who go out every during weekends, hang out around bars and nightclubs, you have tendency to live by same, repeated scenario. You put your best outfit, you meet friends and then you go to a bar or club. There, you find others doing the same. Most guys are out there hunting and girls are seated in their fancy dresses, in groups drinking and having fun. Now the adventure starts. You see a guy approaching a girl and then he gets shut down by her cold dead eyes. Afterwards, the guy leaves with crushed pride and low self-esteem. A bit later, you see another guy approaching the same girl but this time you find her lighting up the room with her laughter. What happened, you ask yourself? Why did this guy succeed and the other one didn’t? Did he get lucky? I will tell you why. It is because the second guy has Game. What does this mean? It means that he had the “right” approach. So, what is the “right” approach? It is that thing that you say after “Hi“. Believe it or not until you say “Hi“ this girl has nothing against you. It’s what you say after that matters. If you said something old, used and dull then you will get shot down. But if you say something new, refreshing, funny and smart then you will get an invitation to continue talking to this girl world. You have to understand that you are out to meet girls and girls are there out to meet guys. There is no doubt about that, or else why would she put all these fancy clothes, shoes and makeup. Defiantly not just to go out, have a drink in the bar and then go home. She is here to have a good time with her friends. Of course, she also came to meet guys. Once you understand this, things will get easier. You will look at the bars and clubs as a sea of opportunities. Only thing left is to seek them out. Before that you need to prepare.

How to Prepare for a Good Night?

Look, looks and more about the look

Let’s clear one thing. I am not talking about physical look, like being cute, muscular or good looking in general. These things don’t hurt and should be improved on (hit the gym) but one thing that can be fixed in a short amount of time is your clothes. Believe it or not, while you are checking the girl, the girl is also checking you. Okay, you are not checking for same things, but when you are checking her “personality“ she is checking your shirt, your shoes, your hair, your perfume, your vibe. For better or for worse, that first impression we make, based on superficial information, has a strong impact, at least in the beginning. Your cloths reflect who you are (well, she is checking your personality). Your whole image, your presence – the vibe you are sending. That might be a rocker or businessmen. It doesn’t matter. So, if you want to give her a good vibe then you have to take care of your appearances (clothes, facial hair, cleanliness…) before you go out. Different guys go for different styles and change them when they go out. Important thing is that you find your own style, one that suits you and you feel comfortable with. First you need to find out what you like and what others like. One tip it to ask your friends (especially those guys that look stylish and now how to dress or girls). They will help you. Try with those close to you who will not hesitate to tell you about your flaws. That feedback is priceless no matter how brutal it seems. Beside that there are a lot of fashion channels and websites you can check (e.g. http://masculine-style.com/ or http://www.askmen.com/) or fashion stylists who offer consulting services. Some guys say “I have no time for this crap. I am not a girl to check out shirts or jeans. I will just put the first thing that going to pop out of the closet”. Well my response to you all is “Man you are doing us a big favor. Continue doing that“. Stay ignorant, stay dry,  stay virgin. Dressing sharp will differentiate you from other guys.

Self-confidence and right mindset

Okay, I know that you heard this one many times before that women are attracted to the self-confidant guys and sometime the arrogant bastards (jerks) even. But do you know why? Because they have no problem speaking their mind. They like to be heard and sometimes they put themselves on pedestal, not the women (God complex). That’s what makes them unique. I am not saying you have to be a bad boy in order to get any girl you want. You need to find your positive and socially acceptable image and wear it and that what will bring you what you want? For example before you go out look to the mirror and say something good and true about yourself like “I am gonna be the most smartest guy in the bar” , “I am gonna be the most fashionable guy in the bar” or “I am the most successful”. These things will fly with yourself steam and going to make you feel good about yourself. That’s a spread feeling which mean the other people can feel this energy coming from you and they connect with it, they want to be around you because that gives them a good feeling.

 Avoid Losers

“The man is measured by people that surround him“. basically, hanging out with successful friends make you successful. Talking about the Game, if you are going out with a group of people who are not even trying to step up their Game, they will also affect you. Always try to have a socially acceptable people (meaning those who are in a good, playful mood) around you when going to a bar or a nightclub so they can give you the right push when you need it.

Hunting Time

Part I – The Bar Game

The entrance is very important because there will be always some girl inside who checked everyone and nothing caught her eye. She is bored so she starts to look at the door waiting for a fresh meat. Maybe one of the newcomers will be her salvation from the boredom. Always get into the bar with a high attitude like you own the place. If you are getting in with your friends try to make it like one of the action movies scenes. There is no need to jump on the floor, but enter with high energy (e.g. laugh, joke, tease each other, wrestle,…). As an exercise, try noticing how many girls (or people in general) look your way when you enter a bar. When you see these groups of girls notice if they are looking at each other while whispering something.  That means you already caught their attention. It doesn’t matter if you or one of your friends did it, first impression you made is “these are interesting guys”. This is a start of building a social value. Social value, for those who haven’t heard about the concept, is a measure of certain qualities and beliefs that are shared within a specific (social) group of people. This group, in the setting we are talking about (but applies for every peer group), are the girls in bar. Let me give you an example. You have friends and in your group (it may be a band or a gaming group) there are certain individuals who are perceived as “more important” than other. They may be a better singer or player or just be the group organizer (leader). The perception you have about these individuals is their social status. In bar or night club setting, people have social value who are having fun, opened to conversation or meeting new people. People who are independent or have any kind of value for the group have higher social value. You want to have as much social value as you can and most of the tips in this article are aimed to increasing your social value. People are attracted to value (ofc).

Now you are in the bar alone or with your friends, what should you do? You can’t just stand alone or with them in a corner and keep checking everybody out. That’s just creepy and gives the wrong idea about you (wrong vibe). The best place to be at is at the bar ordering some drinks. While you are ordering you are scouting the place (with your eyes) for potential targets. Once you find potential targets you start moving around them and make one round in the bar hall (to scout the place). While you are walking, try to catch a detail of anything they might be talking about or wearing. Try to make an eye contact but don’t push for one. All you need in your first round in the bar is to introduce yourself visually if your target didn’t notice you yet. After making the round and you haven’t found anything better, start working your way to one of them. Be a gentleman but in the same time be unapologetic. If it’s a group of girls, say “Hi “ and ask one of them about an item of her clothing like her shoes or something you overheard them talking. Engage in the conversation and after some point drop the introduction line “My name is ___, btw.“ she will introduce herself and her friends. Keep a strong eye contact while you are talking with the target even if she’s talking about a boring subject or if you feel that you picked up the wrong girl in the group. That is why even if she is seems to be a wrong choice, she is going to be your entrance to the right one. Some mistakes guys do when they feel a girl who they picked isn’t interesting enough is to look away, play with a phone or try to make an eye contact with another girl in the bar or even in the same group. This is considered rude and disrespecting to the girl you picked up and she will be offended resulting in a cock blocker. Meaning, she will do everything she can to sabotage you in her set. No matter how subtle you are, girls can easily notice these things. If things are reverse, and you are talking to her and you notice she has lost interest, don’t comment and quickly move to the next girl in the group. Try to involve her in the conversation. If you are interested in her, hold a conversation and keep her mind stimulated. Once you have achieved that, you can just sit back and play with the group as you want (lead conversation – cut or open new topics, include new people in the conversation, move the group to another place…). It is easier if your target is a lone girl. She will appreciate you removing the boredom. In order to stimulate one’s mind hold a conversation with an interesting topic. You can engage one by asking questions and discussing and exchanging opinions about the subject. By doing so, you are showing what a smart, interesting and funny person you are. During the conversation, throw in a complement or two about her personality or choices she made (e.g. cloths or how you like her openness…). I also like to spice it up with teasing. When you notice she is engaged, go for the number.

Let me share a small trick I learned about asking a girl for her number. When talking the number, don’t input it yourself. Give her your phone and ask her to input it herself. It is very effective because when somebody has a mobile in their hands they want to do something with it. Also it is all about commitment. Besides, she will not have time to think of a fake number to give it to you.

Part II – The Night Club Game

As much as the entrance is important in a bar, it’s also important in the night club. While in the night club make sure your goal is to have fun and not pick up girls (same applies for bars). Girls can smell when you are “hunting” (because that is your vibe). When you enter the club, the first thing you should do is grab a drink and make a tour in the club with your friends (similar to scouting in a bar). The thing about night clubs is that people go there in order to hook up thus making them (or at least should be) an easier places to pick up girls. All what you need to do is search for a girl who will keep the eye contact with you and hold it for a while. If that happens, while you are making your tour, don’t ignore it, just keep the eye contact and walk slowly to her. Get closer and say “Hi”. Start to dance a bit. She will usually start dancing with you. If she is not the dancing type (which you will figure out after a couple of seconds), pull her back and tell her that the music isn’t good for dancing but you thought to give it a try. Initiating a conversation in the night club can be hard because of loud music. Another hindering factor is crowd. What you need to do is move her very fast and take her to a corner where you can have a small talk. You can achieve that with an excuse such as “Let’s go to grab a drink. We’ll be back soon“ or “ I want to talk to you for a while but it is really loud here so come with me for a minute“ or to grab a smoke. After you take her (your target) away from her group (set) you can go for the phone close or the kiss close because usually girls don’t want to do it in front of their friends. They don’t want to look or feel like a slut. If her friends are not letting her, say something like “I’ll be right over there and we will be back in a couple of minutes”. Befriend her friends a bit so that they get to know you and wan’t cock block you. Another tip is to not approach the set of 2 girls without a wing man. Usually, other target will not let her friend be left alone and bored. Also, the other girl if bored will grab her friend away (cock blocking). If the set has 3 or more girls then it’s not a problem because the other 2 or more girls will keep each other company while you are talking their friend. If you are a good dancer and your target is a girl on the dance floor then your mission is to show her how both of you are compatible as dancers. Dancing is always filled with sexual energy and tension thus a stimulating her subconscious mind. (morphy: girls judge your sex knowledge how good dancer you are) You begin by showing her your moves and “challenging” her to a show her’s. After a while start dancing without touching. Next, you start dancing while holding hands – beginning of kino. The kino at the dance floor is different because if girl likes you she will let you escalate very fast. While dancing, you start first by holding one hand and dance and then if she doesn’t take her hand away you go for the second hand.  Then try putting her hands around your neck while your position your hands on her waist. If you don’t encounter any resistance, pull her to dance between your legs while you are getting closer to her face. If you manage to do everything without any resistance then next step is the kiss. If at any point the girl resists, you can just move away while you are dancing with her. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. After encountering any resistance, you should back off playfully and ignore her for some time. If she follows you, she is missing you. Always, after the first backing, you should try at least one more. It is better to apologize than ask permission. Being funny and making the girl laugh with short sentences or even you facial expression is really effective in the night club game (and you can’t really talk there). Doing so leaves an impression you are a smart communicator who doesn’t need to do a lot of effort to deliver a message. So don’t waist a chance to give a funny or flirty comments. Choose the right moments to talk, as when music is not as louder, strong eye contact or after the kiss. Moments like that are very important.

Conclusion

Night club Game can end in a many different ways for different guys. Some achieve a number or kiss close or even take the girl home. You will never know how night will end so don’t put your hopes high because no one scores all the time and no one score perfectly all the time. Some nights are going to be better than others and some are going to be even perfect. Then on other hand, some nights will be dull and slow but even if you had way many dull nights in row don’t give up. Only losers in the Game are the quitters. As long you are trying and learning you are getting better and better. Practice makes perfect. No matter how you think you suck, your subconscious is collecting these experiences, analyzing them to be used in later situations. Then, when moment comes, you will have this experience and knowledge ready to be applied.

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Why Does This Work?

Why does this works?
I have recommended some reading in my “Where to Start From” post that gives a theoretical background of the Game. Here are a couple of highlights.
There are a couple of theories present today, but there are two aspects that shape us to be what we are today. Genes and environment (experience).

Evolutionary theory
Let’s talk about the genes first. Genes are a product of our heritage and evolution that has helped us to survive over millions of years. And our goal, from genes’ point of view is to survive long enough to send them to new generation. As has been with each and every our ancestor (or we wouldn’t be here today). Only problem with genes is that it takes more than a single lifespan of a generation for them to change. It takes a much, much longer. Thousands of years. Genes “learn” via the process of natural (sexual) selection (survival of the fittest). OK, so, what does this all has to do with the Game?

Our genes are not prepared for living in the world we are living today.

I have already written about our genes’ heritage, their inadequacy for today’s world.

But, we have what we have. By understanding the background, we can adopt.

Women seek in men what they lack and men seek in women what they lack. Women are the gatekeepers of sex and replication. This is the value we, men, seek. But evolution has played a nice trick on them. Their initial investment is much higher than ours. To clarify this I will show a couple of examples. First example is the quantity and size of reproductive cells – eggs and sperm. Women produces one egg each month. Men produce millions sperm cells each day. Also, from size point of view (e.g. investment), women are again at disadvantage. Because of this higher initial investment, women have to be choosy about their partners. Men don’t have to. This is especially pronounced with homosexual couples. Gay couples are very promiscuous and approach to sex very early in their relationship. They also tend to change partners relatively often (e.g. bath houses). Lesbians on the other hand take a long, long time (months) to know their partner before becoming intimate (which is illogical since they can’t get pregnant).

At this point, you must be asking what women want. They require safety which they lack. Men are better at psychical activities (in general). In a Savannah environment (for which our genes were prepared over a course of millions of years) men used to hunt and provide, women used take care of the household. Again, this can be seen at usual stereotypical man and women activities – men are better at e.g. driving (visual perception in the distance), women are better at taking care of others (attention to details). Since women are looking for safety, they are screening us during the attraction phase of the Game. (Unconsciously) women are testing us if we can protect them from all dangers in the world. This is why certain characteristics attract women. Same applies to men who are attracted to outer beauty, screening for good health which is associated with (e.g. certain hip to waist ratio).

OK, what does humor, for instance, have to do with safety? One would expect that big muscles are enough to provide safety, right?
This is true to a point. Women are attracted to physical attributes, but to an extent one would expect. They are attracted to our brains, meaning intellect. Confused?
Let me introduce you to a bird. A bird where male and female are very different animals regarding looks. Female are grey and plain, while male are beautiful with lots of colors (mostly blue and green) and giant, long tail. Guessed which bird I am talking about? Yes, this is the peacock.
So, what is the use of peacocks tail? To “show off” and seduce peahen, you say. Why does it work? Yes, it is beautiful, but there must be something else? Is there any other use for this, humongous tail? Hardly. Even, it is a penalty. Because, the longer the tail, animal is less manoeuvrable and easily to be seen and caught by a predator. So, what does it mean if there is a peacock with a large tail still alive? It means he was able to survive despite his large, penalizing tail. Gentlemen (and ladies), I present you the sexual ornament. Each male animal has one. It is characterized as a part of the body which puts an individual in danger (reducing survivability) but promotes sexual encounters (increasing reproducibility). There are many examples in nature, and it is usually some sort of ritualistic behaviour and/or body part.
What is our sexual ornament? It is our brains. Studies have shown that there is no explanation, from pure survival point of view, for the amount of resources our brains need (waste) compared to the rest of our body. There must be something else. And that is reproduction. Our intellect, our ability to outsmart our environment and our competitors in order to gain sexual services is the reason women are screening for leadership or for humor. And when talking about rituals that reduce survivability and increase reproducibility, think about how teenagers suddenly start to behave differently and how they they change their behaviour again after they exit their teenage years.

Environmental theory
Now that we understand how our genes influence our behaviour, let us look how our environment, our experience and how we were raised influences us today.
Compared to genes, an environment changes a lot faster. Within a generation or two there are new customs and social norms. For example, I used to play outside in a sandbox as a kid, my younger brother is hooked up to a PC whole day long (and there is a decade separating my and his generation).
Some of us were raised by both parents, some have not. Some were raised by their mothers only (or mostly). Mothers know only what women think they want (a nice guy). And those values have raised their sons by. I don’t blame them, they didn’t know better. Similar happens if a father was a nice (beta) guy (which usually is). Some were raised in tight religious environment where “being nice and polite” is encouraged no matter the consequences (but you will always have the moral victory, right?).
Other part is what we have picked up while growing up. Those initial experiences. Let’s say we have two young boys (B1 & B2). They don’t have any experience with girls and are just starting. B1 and B2 were raised similarly and have similar backgrounds and experiences. For the purpose of this discussion, they can be considered tabula rasa. B1 and B2 approach two girls. B1, by pure chance of luck manages to attract a girl. His confidence grows. B2 is not that lucky and fails. His confidence decreases. B1, encouraged by his encounter, and some experience he has gathered previously, tries again. He is more likely to succeed since his attitude (confidence) and experience are attractive. On the other hand we have B2 who is not so confidant and doesn’t have B1’s experience. He is more likely to fail. Fast Forwarding the time, using same (I agree pretty simplistic) principle we have two different guys, one who is successful with women and another one who is not. It is rather shocking how, a couple of simple experiences early in our lives influences the rest.

So, which theory applies?
Simply put, both. We can’t change our genes, but learning about them, we can be aware of their influence and correct our behavior in order to get better experience.

The Game is a life changing concept. You have to become a better man in order to attract women.

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What do you think? Do you want certain topic elaborated more? Write in the comments.

How Game Becomes An Upward Spiral

It has been a while since my last post. I had some health issues but they are being taken care of.

Just a quick “motivational post” about what happens when you reach a certain (rookie) level of the Game. I would say I am pretty good at being cocky and funny and it became my modus operandi for social occasions.
Before I went to vacation, I was pinged by one of my oneits with usual “Haven’t heard anything from you in a while. Would you like to garb a cup of coffee?”. I said no problem, since I have resolved any issues I had. During the whole encounter I was interesting as I always am (cocky & funny). Soon we were tackling the topic of going out and dating. We were commenting all bad openers guys here use (most of them have no Game at all) and what they should have done. Also we were discussing what, how and why women want when going out (hint: not drinks, just interesting stories). Idea behind this discussion of ours was to subtle tell her “I get it now”. And it worked. She has good Game. She used multiple False Time Constraints (FTA) but those were just a shit tests. She could not have enough of me and leave. Eventually her phone rang and I, realizing she has to go, chased her away. Next week while I was at vacation, she was coming to the city I was just leaving inviting me to go with her and her girls out. I said no (not part of my plans). Next day she invited me to the nearby island which was halfway from my new location and where she was. I denied that invitation as well. We were supposed to go out last night bowling but because I am having mentioned health issues I couldn’t. But I invited them all to come for a drink after the game. I also invited some other friends earlier to keep me company. When they came, my apartment was already full of people (DHV, btw). And they were surprised (“Are you having a party?”). There was one girl that sat next to me and started questioning me about my apartment, my job my life and everything. I talked to her a bit, talked to others while ignoring her and never missed an opportunity to bust her balls. Everyone was laughing and having a good time. She had good vibe and was getting into me but since it was the middle of the week they had to leave. We spent another half an hour “leaving” and cracking jokes in the hall. It was fun and she is into me and I plan to continue where we stopped. Since I can’t get out to meet new people, it is nice when they come to you.

What is the moral of this story?
If you are considered a cool guy, people will come to you. And it gets that much easier. Game will reward you for your effort and it is upwards spiral from there on. Things just get better and better as well as you do. It is worth every second, every frustration, every rejection.

Game is *NOT* only about picking girls. It is about becoming a better man.

Chasing or Being Chased? (Being A Nice Guy Who Really Cares)

Women are much, much better at the Game then we are (at least before we learn it).
They are naturals. Why?

While we, as boys, played football (stereotypical, isn’t it?) what did girls do? They played “moms”, “housewives”, “teachers”, they chatted and gossiped. They practiced their social skills. They quickly learned the rules of social dynamics (which for most part we know as Game). If Game would be described in one sentence, this would be it:

“Game is using women psychology on women!”

And most of them are really good at it (even those who are not are better then most men).

Here is an example that came from my friend.
He is a nice guy, really nice guy. And he thinks like one. He thinks like a man, and that is logically. Women think differently – emotionally. This doesn’t mean they are illogical, but it is emotions, not logic, that drives them. Common Game example would be buying a girl you are interested in a drink at a bar (after approaching, of course). Nice Guy’s (logical) thinking would be: “I bought her a drink, (logically) she should be grateful”. Her thinking would be: “I really don’t care about the drink that much, this guy is giving me the creeps”. One of my female friends is a really good gamer. She does a lot of Game stuff intentionally with excellent performance. She told me “The best drink can’t compare to a good story”. Stories have emotions, drinks don’t.

I derailed a bit. Here is my friend’s example (let’s call him Andy from now on):
Andy’s sister introduced him to a friend of her’s and there was instant chemistry (let’s call her Mia). They liked each other, but she started playing him and giving him shit tests. Shit test is a test where HB test a guy in order to asses his congruence and to see how much she can influence him. Nice Guys do as asked thinking (logically) that this will please a HB, but in reality they lose any attraction they had. In order to understand what is a shit test and what is not ask yourself: “Would I do this for my colleague or not very close friend?” or “Does doing this make sense?”. A bit more comprehensive rule of thumb is this: If a woman is making a request of a man and it is the sort of request that you would normally grant if one of your close male friends was making it, it is not a test and should not be treated like one. On the other hand, if a woman makes an uncivil demand of you, it may or may not be a test, but in either case, it is best treated with contempt and ignored.

More on shit tests read this and this (both female writers). (brought by Igniss).

He was, like any Nice Guy, complying with her tests. Luckily, Andy is not stupid, so he put his foot down at one point (resulted in Mia accusing him of a lot not nice things). This resulted in Mia not loosing interest in him, but she was still playing games. Andy tried sorting things up and tried to arrange a meeting (despite my advices). There were some logistical issues (they live in different cities and it is a holiday season). So the “issue” was left unsolved. Andy was at a social gathering where he noticed Mia. She noticed him, but pretended she didn’t. At one point she had to walk by Andy and he used this opportunity to say “Hi”. She pretended she didn’t hear him. (comment: he broadcasted interested, she ignored, making him chase her; nothing unusual when HB knows you are after her) While they were standing as a part of the gathering, Mia was evading eye contact. (looking disinterested, more chasing) Andy then called her by name and said hi. She responded. (because it would be awkward ignoring him further, this was not a nightclub but a social event; others know they know each other) But after that she turned her head away. (“Chase me a little bit more!”) Half an hour later, Andy walked to Mia. (“See, I knew he would come”) They started a conversation where Mia told him she doesn’t want to talk here. (I hope you are getting this by now) Andy had enough (finally), took Mia aside and started talking. She said to ignore everything she is saying because she had a drink or two. He called her on her BS (good job) and said he only wants a minute of polite behavior. He asked her if there is anything they need to discuss (referencing to all shit test hoops she was making him jump through). Mia said: “I don’t know. Do we?”. Andy told her it was his question and he is expecting an answer. She asked again “What was the question”. (unless she was hammered, and I don’t think so, she was BS-ing) Andy’s answer was brilliant: “I asked for a minute, and that minute has passed. Good bye” and he walked away. (nice) She messaged him later that she is coming to his city and she would like to meet him (but only if he behaves). (still interested, but presenting another shit test) He responded arranging logistics ignoring her comment.

Andy’s finish was brilliant, but his behavior in general was not congruent (first you are chasing, then you are not tolerating shit any more). This is why Mia is still interested in him but giving him hard time (playing with his emotions).

What he could have done better?
First recognize the facts – she is interested and she is testing you. Being interested is something that can be used to further increase attraction and make Mia stop playing games. Test should be handled like shit tests. See how big hoop is she has presented and then find a equal or bigger one for her. It is OK to jump through a hoop as long as she jumps first and as long as you stay congruent with your behavior (“Is this something I usually would not have problems doing?”). Another possible response is to ignore the test and proceed like it didn’t happen. This also sends a powerful message that you have your way and will not be played with. A mixture of both is optimal.
Second thing is to act. Use her interest to boost attraction and blaze through her shit tests. Instant attraction.

Back on the subject of why being a Nice Guy (or a my personal favorite – Being Yourself) won’t work. It is not attractive. Women *DO NOT* want someone nice, they want someone who is going to attract them, someone who they feel safe with (“If you are jumping through her hoops like a little puppy, will you be able to resist some real danger?”). Guys, give them *THAT* man.

Is it normal that women don’t want nice guys? Logically no, but this is not how Game is played.

And yes, Nice Guys always finish last.

Body Language

This subject is very dear to me since it was the first thing that got me learning about social dynamics (in general).
Studying body language has been my hobby for more then two years now and it is one of the skills I started my Game with. But knowing theory and applying it to the real world situations are two different things.
There are two aspects of body language that affect your Game. First (and easier one) is your body language. Here are few simple tips that will improve your Game in a blink:
1. Stand up straight with shoulders slightly rotated to the back, puffing your chest a little bit. Don’t overdo it since you will be looking like a tryhard.
2. Don’t look at your shoes while walking or talking. Your head should be up.
3. Smile. Especially when starting conversations. Don’t keep smiling whole time since it will look fake and weird (e.g. flight attendants). Ask yourself: “Is it normal to smile now?”. If you are meeting someone new, it is. If you are asking about the problem you are facing (aka serious subject), it is not.
4. While sitting, lean back. Even when you are having conversation with people. Even if it is loud. Other people will lean in towards you thus showing interest (IOI). This is the most common mistake guys make. They are interested in a girl and they show it by leaning in. Girls, who are much better at social dynamics then guys, interpret it as needy.
5. Don’t fidget and avoid fast movements. A confident person does not need to move a lot in order to attract attention. Moving a lot also shows nervousness (or neediness).
6. Make and hold eye contact while approaching and especially while talking to people. More advanced version of this technique is to break eye contact while talking to further show your confidence (and disinterest in the other party). Try not breaking eye contact until you are calibrated enough to know when, where and with whom you can do it in order to boost attraction. When breaking eye contact, break it sideways. Never break eye contact downwards.
7. If I had to give you one general tip about body language and confidence it would be this one: Confidant people tend to use (more) space (then they really need). So, when walking, take wide steps (again, don’t look ridiculous). When standing, either stand with legs standing apart (roughly same width as your hips) or have legs crossed (while leaned against something). First stance shows “ready for action”, second one indicates comfort.
8. Don’t know what to do with your arms? Here is what *not* to: Keep them behind the back or (even worse) cross them. Default position should be having them relaxed next to your pockets with fingers slightly bend inwards (what actually happens when you relax your arm while standing up straight).
9. Don’t put your hands in your pockets.
10. When holding objects (such as a drink in a bar) and talking to someone, hold it sideways and not in front of you. You don’t want to create a barrier between you and person you are talking to (same logic applies with crossed arms).

These are general guidelines and there are exceptions to some of them.
Improving your body language can improve your looks (and attraction) tremendously.

Here is an interesting article you should read.
For more comprehensive information about body language I suggest watching David DeAngelo’s Body Language program.

Second aspect is all about reading HB’s body language. This one takes time and practice. Basically, you need to learn about body language and how to use it. Here are some general rules:

1. Observe and observe actively!
Be active observer. Notice body language changes. You don’t have to understand at first what they mean, just noticing that something is going on, is excellent (and the hardest part about reading body language).

2. Observe in context!
Crossed arms means unfriendly? Maybe. But what if it is cold? Maybe her arms are cold.

3. Learn universal tells
This one is hard to explain in a couple of sentences. Those regarding attraction are these:
Is she laughing (after you deliver a joke, also, don’t laugh to your own jokes)?
Is she regulatory playing with her hair (after you said something)?
Is she looking at your lips (regularly)?
Is she facing you directly?
Is she mirroring your body language (mimicking your movements)?
Is she touching you? (this is a big one)
One hard tell to catch is a pupil dilation (don’t bother if you don’t see it).
Note that these tells will start happening as you become more attracted to her.

4. Observe unique tells
Everyone has unique tells. Maybe she likes to keep her arms crossed?

5. Establish a baseline first
While approaching and opening, you might have triggered her resistance (bitch) shield. Also, girls (especially in night clubs) are not their real selves. Night clubs are a virtual world, says David D, and I tend to agree. Reading is easier when you establish a baseline behavior first and then notice changes.

6. Tells are usually grouped
If you are doing things wright, she will be smiling, facing towards you while playing with hair and punching you in the arm.

7. (Sudden) Change what are you looking for (when screwing up)
This will usually happen when you did something wrong. She will suddenly close (you did terribly wrong) or start closing. Attraction is very easily lost. That is why we calibrate our behavior with each new HB.

8. The tells can be learned
Remind me, what are you doing right now again?

9. It all boils down to comfort and discomfort
All body language tells can be sorted in two categories: they show comfort of discomfort. Confidant body language equals comfort, needy shows discomfort. This way it is easier to read. After you do the read, think why is she showing comfort or discomfort.

10. Be subtle while observing
I gamed girls while talking about psychology and body language, but this is a double edged sword. Sometimes they tend to freak out (anyone tried dating a psychologist?). Never tell about your knowledge early on (during attraction). It kills mystery HBs are crazy about. Whole purpose about body language is to demonstrate that “you get it” without telling her directly. You can start talking about psychology to show “how deep you are” but newer tell something like “you suddenly closed (crossed arms), because I did that and that”.

This is body language in a nutshell. If you are more interested in the subject, I highly recommend you start with What Every Body is Saying by Joe Navarro.
Also note that this is a tool that can be used not only while gaming, but in everyday life.

Social Status

We as a species are social creatures. As social creatures we tend to live (especially today) in large groups. As within every group, sooner or later, some kind of hierarchy occurs. At work, you have your boss who has his boss and so on. At home you (usually) have a father who is “the boss” then mother, then children (at least until they reach puberty). In social situations (or better say circles) some people are considered more cool then others. One is more cool if his/her social status is higher. Also, people have no problem accepting their social status even if it is not high (or as high as they would have wanted).
Before I start with the social status and the Game, here is one experiment I read about:
There were 50 students participating in the experiment. Each student was given a card corresponding with number 1 to 50. Students did not know what their number was. Each student taped his card to his forehead so that everybody else could see it. Students were told to pair with the highest possible number. Soon, students with higher numbers noticed high interest. Students who realized their number was lover (no great interest), started compromising and looked for not-so-high numbers. Soon, hierarchy was formed and students roughly paired with equal numbers.
If you still haven’t figured out, substitute numbers with social status and you basically have social dynamics 101 figured. Only difference is how that number is gained.

Outer Game is all about gaining social status. Note, I am not assuming your social status is low, but when entering completely new group, it is not high either (remember first day at your first work).
Inner Game is about quality (being a better person), Outer Game is presenting those qualities in order to gain social status.

When girls bang rock stars in the backstage, they are banging their social status.

How to gain social status?
There are a lot of ways you can gain or loos social status. Some are:
(Self-)confidence
Looks
Body Language
Playful attitude, cocky & funny
Not being needy and clingy
Be interesting
Be a leader
Building and releasing tension (by being unpredictable)
Don’t chase, let them chase you
Speak slowly with deep voice, use pauses

I will work all these subjects as separate topics. For now, just get the idea what is social status all about. It is the key to attracting women. As David DeAngelo said, attraction is not a choice.

Looks

Outer Game is another gigantic subject. Topics regarding the Game will usually be split into inner or outer Game category.
Let’s start with an easy subject. Outer appearance.

Unfortunately people judge us (and we judge them) by appearances first. But that is normal since we don’t have any other information we can work with. This is why appearance matters. Not a lot, but it helps. Game is consisted of many small parts that add together.
If you are new to the Game, you are probably not a fashion designer and don’t know much about fashion. That is OK. You will learn.

First stop your mother dressing you! Or stop dressing like your mother would dress you (or (ex)wife). It is easier when someone else dresses you but you are not a kid anymore!

What can you do?

You can copy others. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel. Copy those whose style you like AND who are considered cool. Dress stereotypically. You want to use positive stereotypes. If you are a business man dress like one (but a cool one). If you are a rapper, and live for rap music, dress like one.
Go to the night clubs and see what are “cool guys” (those with hot girls) wearing. Copy.

I know what are you thinking: “This will cost me hundreds of $$ (or €€)”. No it will not. There are a lot of affordable shops that sell currently cool clothes. I personally don’t like online cloth shopping, but am considering it more and more. Look for great deals, you don’t have to buy everything now (for time being buy one cool outfit you can wear when going out). You don’t have to wear brands (although it will not hurt). Look at your cool friends. Ask you female friends to help you out (go shopping with them).

Clothes is one of the first things where your friends will notice the change. Don’t get provoked or discouraged. They will get used to it. I was called “hipster” or “gay” on more then one occasion, but as long I am getting my share of girls (Game slang is HB – hot babe), I don’t mind.

When you have found out what style suits you, experiment. Don’t be like 99% of other guys out there (and you probably won’t be because you copied the “cool” guys). Try with different stuff, the stuff you didn’t even dream trying a couple months ago. It will look strange (at first), but give it enough time and ask others (girls) what they think about it. You will notice their responses are not as bad as you thought. Being different sets you apart and that is one of the aspects of the Game you want. People in any social event are in one of two groups. They are either observing or being observed. You want to be in the second one. Those being observed are perceived as leaders and their social value is high (more on this topic later). People want to be in their presence. They are “interesting” people. Try thinking about one of your friends, colleagues or acquaintances who is considered interesting or cool by you and your peers. That is who I am talking bout.

But to get back on the subject of clothing, here are some fresh general rules.

Clothes is one thing where you can relatively fast achieve good results. Another is hair and beard.
Regarding beard, there is one easy tip for beginning: lose it. Just that. When you find looks that suits you, please be free to experiment. But until then, beard usually looks creepy.
Regarding hair, there is no rule, as long as it is tidy and orderly. If you have no idea, go to your regular dress salon and let your hairdresser experiment. If you still don’t know, go to one of those 50$ hairdressers and when you get the hairstyle you like, go to your regular and show her (him?) what you want.

Third part of the equation is your body. This one takes more time. “In healthy body, healthy mind”. If you are not satisfied with your looks, do something about it. Hit the gym and change your diet. I am very against diets as food reduction, I am more for start using more calories (aka the gym) and split your meals to more smaller ones (I tend to have 5 or 6 per day). This way I am never hungry but I also never overeat (it is all about self-control which is tough).
One of the biggest mistakes I made when I started changing my body was a heavy food reduction. I reduced all my meals to half (back then I had 3) and cut off all sweets (plus regular exercise). I lost 20 kg in 3 months. That was not healthy. I am having much more trouble now when I am trying to gain muscles (which are heavier then fat, FYI). I should have just split the meals and started eating healthier while exercising.
Today, I try to watch what I am eating. That doesn’t mean I will not go to MacDonalds, but will try to avoid it if possible. I also try to eat a lot of fruits, vegetables and meat, reducing fat as much as possible. With all that I go regularly to the gym. I am no gym junkie. I go alone, so I had to find a way to motivate myself. One thing that works for me is to go to the gym which has regular fitness programs (e.g. crunches). That way I have “an obligation” to show up at specific time. It gets me started, so going to the rest of gym is not that big deal since I am already there. I also use audio books to keep my mind busy while exercising (repetitive work is boring).
I am happy with the results but there is always area for improvement. This was the first summer I was happy showing my body (I was always a chubby kid). And I can’t describe you the feeling first time I wore a slim shirt. It was worth all the work (and suffering). I am also a lot healthier and have more energy. I rarely get sick. My allergies are almost gone (and as kid I basically could not breath starting in February and ending in November). If not for anything else, do it for your health.

Here is a great link that thought me a lot.