The Art Of Touch

How to touch a women, or more commonly known kino is one of the milestones in any gamer’s career. Mostly what I have been talking about in this blog was how to convey value by verbal or nonverbal communication. This can get you pretty far in a relationship with a woman, but where you will get might not be where you wanted to be. Whether or not you use touch (kino) as part of seduction process, will depend if a girl will perceive you as a sexual partner or mere friend. Touching sends a clear message – I want you more than just a friendship.

This sends clear message

This sends a clear message

This was a difficult subject for me for a long time. I knew how to get girl interested. I knew how to get her comfortable and connect with her. But I didn’t know how to proceed. Touching people who were not close to me (like family) was awkward. It didn’t feel right or being myself. So, there was a paradigm. I could get girl pretty quickly to my apartment but then when I needed to proceed there was that insecurity. That was extremely incongruent moment where girl started thinking “Was this guy faking all this time?”. Of course, this was the worst case scenario. Luckily, girls here are not as hypergamous as those in the States so some mistakes are allowed. I, as nerd, needed instructions, needed a game plan. I needed something concrete I could use, what routines were when I was beginning with the Game.

I did quite extensive research on my subject. First, I looked at what information sources I had available at time. So I looked at routines featured in the Game by Neil Strauss. Afterwards, I looked at Mystery’s kino escalation guide. I found out about philosophy behind kino escalation: touch should never be a big thing. If you get her accustomed to you touching her (and she touching you), there won’t be any big moments such as first kiss. Therefore, I learned some basic palm reading, how to open with touch (tap on the shoulder, graze her when walking by), how to use “incidental” touch (taping shoulder when explaining, hugs as rewards for compliance…), friendship (compliance) test routine,… But this was all “innocent” touching used to spark attraction. I still didn’t have a full plan what to do when I get a girl back home. Then I learned about DiCarlo’s Escalation Ladder. I started field testing the method and I’ve hit jackpot. I am still using this framework today, although I have internalized it so I don’t need to follow it step by step. I occasionally use it when I get stuck or have a brain freeze. Besides this framework I suggest researching in more details on topics mentioned in the ladder depending on your knowledge and experience (e.g. french kissing, fingering, sex techniques).
One last point, learn to multitask. Each of your hands and your head (mouth) should be able to operate separately. That way, when you distract her with kissing, you can start fingering her and undressing her with hands. In time she will find herself in “it just happened” situation.

Each new notch will teach you something new, something she likes. Talk with your guy friends and exchange notes.

Have fun and experiment.

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Dancing Game

Here in Croatia we don’t have bars as a nightlife alternative to clubs. There is no place where you can go, meet strangers and talk to them when going out. Bars are more like coffee places where people sit and chat before going out. And in clubs usually you can’t talk to people because music is just too loud. If you want to succeed regularly in an environment such as this, best way to do it is by dance. Don’t get me wrong, I have succeeded in a Night Game by talking, but talk is much more efficient at social gatherings without loud music, more common to Day Game scenario.

Why dancing? Dancing brings an immediate sexual vibe. I’ve had girls tell me that they judge a man’s sexual ability by how good dancer he is. Dance brings an immediate kino. Things escalate much faster when dancing because dance puts man immediately in a leadership position. He is in control, dictating the pace. Dance also acts as immediate isolation, since you two are dancing together. If that is not the case, dance can help you lead her to another part of the club. There you can continue the conversation (“Let’s grab something to drink?”) and continue escalation. And girls love to dance. To sum it, dance provides an instant framework for male-female dynamic and relationship. And she is programmed to respond to it.

Salsa

In order to get better, you need to learn some partner dance like salsa. Trust me, what you call dancing today by swinging and waving hands (drunkenly) is not dancing. I suggest signing up for a course. After a month or two you should have all basics covered. Remember, you are not training to be the best pro. You only need to be better than most other guys else in the club, and that shouldn’t be too difficult. Additional benefit from courses is that female to male ratio is greatly in favor to men and you can meet new girls there (who are expecting to be interacted with).

Once you have covered basic dancing, Night Game should be much easier.

A great guide how to improve your dancing game and some techniques can be found here.
Also, ignore other guys who will make fun of you going to dance class. You know why you are going.

The Night Game

This is a gift from my wingman Mody.

The Night Game – a Personal Approach by Mody

Introduction

Do you know how to talk to women? How do you tackle your anxiety when approaching in order to talk to women? How to be a better conversationalist in general and with girls? How to overcome your approach anxiety? These are just some of many questions we as men have tried to answer since long time ago. Some have managed to find the right answer by chance (lucky ones), some didn’t, but for the rest of us, this is a skill that can be learned (like any other). These skill, collectively, are named the Game.

Today, one can find many theories, books, gurus and guides that help men to answer these and many more questions. If you are reading this, you are interested in the subject of being more successful with women. Post you are reading right now is a collection of my experiences that I want to share so I can give you guys another tool. My goal is not to present a theory or a role model but something that might help you improve your performance with girls from my experience. If I am able to help one person to reach his full potential and improve his social experience then this document I have written has fulfilled its goal.

Who am I?

You can call me Mody, I am an African guy who lives in one of the ex-Yugoslavian countries, am in my late 20’s. I moved here almost 3 years ago and since I came here I was gaming day and night, but to be honest I am more talented in the Night Game and that’s what am going to try to help you with in document.

Night Game Atmosphere

For all of you, who go out every during weekends, hang out around bars and nightclubs, you have tendency to live by same, repeated scenario. You put your best outfit, you meet friends and then you go to a bar or club. There, you find others doing the same. Most guys are out there hunting and girls are seated in their fancy dresses, in groups drinking and having fun. Now the adventure starts. You see a guy approaching a girl and then he gets shut down by her cold dead eyes. Afterwards, the guy leaves with crushed pride and low self-esteem. A bit later, you see another guy approaching the same girl but this time you find her lighting up the room with her laughter. What happened, you ask yourself? Why did this guy succeed and the other one didn’t? Did he get lucky? I will tell you why. It is because the second guy has Game. What does this mean? It means that he had the “right” approach. So, what is the “right” approach? It is that thing that you say after “Hi“. Believe it or not until you say “Hi“ this girl has nothing against you. It’s what you say after that matters. If you said something old, used and dull then you will get shot down. But if you say something new, refreshing, funny and smart then you will get an invitation to continue talking to this girl world. You have to understand that you are out to meet girls and girls are there out to meet guys. There is no doubt about that, or else why would she put all these fancy clothes, shoes and makeup. Defiantly not just to go out, have a drink in the bar and then go home. She is here to have a good time with her friends. Of course, she also came to meet guys. Once you understand this, things will get easier. You will look at the bars and clubs as a sea of opportunities. Only thing left is to seek them out. Before that you need to prepare.

How to Prepare for a Good Night?

Look, looks and more about the look

Let’s clear one thing. I am not talking about physical look, like being cute, muscular or good looking in general. These things don’t hurt and should be improved on (hit the gym) but one thing that can be fixed in a short amount of time is your clothes. Believe it or not, while you are checking the girl, the girl is also checking you. Okay, you are not checking for same things, but when you are checking her “personality“ she is checking your shirt, your shoes, your hair, your perfume, your vibe. For better or for worse, that first impression we make, based on superficial information, has a strong impact, at least in the beginning. Your cloths reflect who you are (well, she is checking your personality). Your whole image, your presence – the vibe you are sending. That might be a rocker or businessmen. It doesn’t matter. So, if you want to give her a good vibe then you have to take care of your appearances (clothes, facial hair, cleanliness…) before you go out. Different guys go for different styles and change them when they go out. Important thing is that you find your own style, one that suits you and you feel comfortable with. First you need to find out what you like and what others like. One tip it to ask your friends (especially those guys that look stylish and now how to dress or girls). They will help you. Try with those close to you who will not hesitate to tell you about your flaws. That feedback is priceless no matter how brutal it seems. Beside that there are a lot of fashion channels and websites you can check (e.g. http://masculine-style.com/ or http://www.askmen.com/) or fashion stylists who offer consulting services. Some guys say “I have no time for this crap. I am not a girl to check out shirts or jeans. I will just put the first thing that going to pop out of the closet”. Well my response to you all is “Man you are doing us a big favor. Continue doing that“. Stay ignorant, stay dry,  stay virgin. Dressing sharp will differentiate you from other guys.

Self-confidence and right mindset

Okay, I know that you heard this one many times before that women are attracted to the self-confidant guys and sometime the arrogant bastards (jerks) even. But do you know why? Because they have no problem speaking their mind. They like to be heard and sometimes they put themselves on pedestal, not the women (God complex). That’s what makes them unique. I am not saying you have to be a bad boy in order to get any girl you want. You need to find your positive and socially acceptable image and wear it and that what will bring you what you want? For example before you go out look to the mirror and say something good and true about yourself like “I am gonna be the most smartest guy in the bar” , “I am gonna be the most fashionable guy in the bar” or “I am the most successful”. These things will fly with yourself steam and going to make you feel good about yourself. That’s a spread feeling which mean the other people can feel this energy coming from you and they connect with it, they want to be around you because that gives them a good feeling.

 Avoid Losers

“The man is measured by people that surround him“. basically, hanging out with successful friends make you successful. Talking about the Game, if you are going out with a group of people who are not even trying to step up their Game, they will also affect you. Always try to have a socially acceptable people (meaning those who are in a good, playful mood) around you when going to a bar or a nightclub so they can give you the right push when you need it.

Hunting Time

Part I – The Bar Game

The entrance is very important because there will be always some girl inside who checked everyone and nothing caught her eye. She is bored so she starts to look at the door waiting for a fresh meat. Maybe one of the newcomers will be her salvation from the boredom. Always get into the bar with a high attitude like you own the place. If you are getting in with your friends try to make it like one of the action movies scenes. There is no need to jump on the floor, but enter with high energy (e.g. laugh, joke, tease each other, wrestle,…). As an exercise, try noticing how many girls (or people in general) look your way when you enter a bar. When you see these groups of girls notice if they are looking at each other while whispering something.  That means you already caught their attention. It doesn’t matter if you or one of your friends did it, first impression you made is “these are interesting guys”. This is a start of building a social value. Social value, for those who haven’t heard about the concept, is a measure of certain qualities and beliefs that are shared within a specific (social) group of people. This group, in the setting we are talking about (but applies for every peer group), are the girls in bar. Let me give you an example. You have friends and in your group (it may be a band or a gaming group) there are certain individuals who are perceived as “more important” than other. They may be a better singer or player or just be the group organizer (leader). The perception you have about these individuals is their social status. In bar or night club setting, people have social value who are having fun, opened to conversation or meeting new people. People who are independent or have any kind of value for the group have higher social value. You want to have as much social value as you can and most of the tips in this article are aimed to increasing your social value. People are attracted to value (ofc).

Now you are in the bar alone or with your friends, what should you do? You can’t just stand alone or with them in a corner and keep checking everybody out. That’s just creepy and gives the wrong idea about you (wrong vibe). The best place to be at is at the bar ordering some drinks. While you are ordering you are scouting the place (with your eyes) for potential targets. Once you find potential targets you start moving around them and make one round in the bar hall (to scout the place). While you are walking, try to catch a detail of anything they might be talking about or wearing. Try to make an eye contact but don’t push for one. All you need in your first round in the bar is to introduce yourself visually if your target didn’t notice you yet. After making the round and you haven’t found anything better, start working your way to one of them. Be a gentleman but in the same time be unapologetic. If it’s a group of girls, say “Hi “ and ask one of them about an item of her clothing like her shoes or something you overheard them talking. Engage in the conversation and after some point drop the introduction line “My name is ___, btw.“ she will introduce herself and her friends. Keep a strong eye contact while you are talking with the target even if she’s talking about a boring subject or if you feel that you picked up the wrong girl in the group. That is why even if she is seems to be a wrong choice, she is going to be your entrance to the right one. Some mistakes guys do when they feel a girl who they picked isn’t interesting enough is to look away, play with a phone or try to make an eye contact with another girl in the bar or even in the same group. This is considered rude and disrespecting to the girl you picked up and she will be offended resulting in a cock blocker. Meaning, she will do everything she can to sabotage you in her set. No matter how subtle you are, girls can easily notice these things. If things are reverse, and you are talking to her and you notice she has lost interest, don’t comment and quickly move to the next girl in the group. Try to involve her in the conversation. If you are interested in her, hold a conversation and keep her mind stimulated. Once you have achieved that, you can just sit back and play with the group as you want (lead conversation – cut or open new topics, include new people in the conversation, move the group to another place…). It is easier if your target is a lone girl. She will appreciate you removing the boredom. In order to stimulate one’s mind hold a conversation with an interesting topic. You can engage one by asking questions and discussing and exchanging opinions about the subject. By doing so, you are showing what a smart, interesting and funny person you are. During the conversation, throw in a complement or two about her personality or choices she made (e.g. cloths or how you like her openness…). I also like to spice it up with teasing. When you notice she is engaged, go for the number.

Let me share a small trick I learned about asking a girl for her number. When talking the number, don’t input it yourself. Give her your phone and ask her to input it herself. It is very effective because when somebody has a mobile in their hands they want to do something with it. Also it is all about commitment. Besides, she will not have time to think of a fake number to give it to you.

Part II – The Night Club Game

As much as the entrance is important in a bar, it’s also important in the night club. While in the night club make sure your goal is to have fun and not pick up girls (same applies for bars). Girls can smell when you are “hunting” (because that is your vibe). When you enter the club, the first thing you should do is grab a drink and make a tour in the club with your friends (similar to scouting in a bar). The thing about night clubs is that people go there in order to hook up thus making them (or at least should be) an easier places to pick up girls. All what you need to do is search for a girl who will keep the eye contact with you and hold it for a while. If that happens, while you are making your tour, don’t ignore it, just keep the eye contact and walk slowly to her. Get closer and say “Hi”. Start to dance a bit. She will usually start dancing with you. If she is not the dancing type (which you will figure out after a couple of seconds), pull her back and tell her that the music isn’t good for dancing but you thought to give it a try. Initiating a conversation in the night club can be hard because of loud music. Another hindering factor is crowd. What you need to do is move her very fast and take her to a corner where you can have a small talk. You can achieve that with an excuse such as “Let’s go to grab a drink. We’ll be back soon“ or “ I want to talk to you for a while but it is really loud here so come with me for a minute“ or to grab a smoke. After you take her (your target) away from her group (set) you can go for the phone close or the kiss close because usually girls don’t want to do it in front of their friends. They don’t want to look or feel like a slut. If her friends are not letting her, say something like “I’ll be right over there and we will be back in a couple of minutes”. Befriend her friends a bit so that they get to know you and wan’t cock block you. Another tip is to not approach the set of 2 girls without a wing man. Usually, other target will not let her friend be left alone and bored. Also, the other girl if bored will grab her friend away (cock blocking). If the set has 3 or more girls then it’s not a problem because the other 2 or more girls will keep each other company while you are talking their friend. If you are a good dancer and your target is a girl on the dance floor then your mission is to show her how both of you are compatible as dancers. Dancing is always filled with sexual energy and tension thus a stimulating her subconscious mind. (morphy: girls judge your sex knowledge how good dancer you are) You begin by showing her your moves and “challenging” her to a show her’s. After a while start dancing without touching. Next, you start dancing while holding hands – beginning of kino. The kino at the dance floor is different because if girl likes you she will let you escalate very fast. While dancing, you start first by holding one hand and dance and then if she doesn’t take her hand away you go for the second hand.  Then try putting her hands around your neck while your position your hands on her waist. If you don’t encounter any resistance, pull her to dance between your legs while you are getting closer to her face. If you manage to do everything without any resistance then next step is the kiss. If at any point the girl resists, you can just move away while you are dancing with her. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. After encountering any resistance, you should back off playfully and ignore her for some time. If she follows you, she is missing you. Always, after the first backing, you should try at least one more. It is better to apologize than ask permission. Being funny and making the girl laugh with short sentences or even you facial expression is really effective in the night club game (and you can’t really talk there). Doing so leaves an impression you are a smart communicator who doesn’t need to do a lot of effort to deliver a message. So don’t waist a chance to give a funny or flirty comments. Choose the right moments to talk, as when music is not as louder, strong eye contact or after the kiss. Moments like that are very important.

Conclusion

Night club Game can end in a many different ways for different guys. Some achieve a number or kiss close or even take the girl home. You will never know how night will end so don’t put your hopes high because no one scores all the time and no one score perfectly all the time. Some nights are going to be better than others and some are going to be even perfect. Then on other hand, some nights will be dull and slow but even if you had way many dull nights in row don’t give up. Only losers in the Game are the quitters. As long you are trying and learning you are getting better and better. Practice makes perfect. No matter how you think you suck, your subconscious is collecting these experiences, analyzing them to be used in later situations. Then, when moment comes, you will have this experience and knowledge ready to be applied.

The Dateplan

So you managed to get a girl’s number. Great! What do you do now?
Next step is to meet her. And before that? Arrange the logistics of the meeting.
Let’s say that you have managed to build enough attraction when you have met her and used a couple of routines that she now finds you interesting. One of those that you should have used is a funny nick name. This is an essential link that will enable a smooth transaction into new conversation.

When do you do it? If I get a girl’s number (or FB or mail) during weekend, I usually contact them on Tuesday. Do not contact them, under any circumstances the same night or following morning. Also, don’t, after she gives you her number, “check if it works” or “I will call you so you can have mine”. Just don’t.

So, should you call or text?
Calling is dead. Today girls text, text and text some more. They don’t call. I tried calling, but it didn’t work as I would have wanted it. I prefer calling when there is some relationship going on and I can build rapport that way easily.
So, how complicated text should be?
As simple as possible, but with a some kind of twist. The twist comes from the nickname you gave her. Or the something you two came up with. Or from something you have been teasing her about (note, never tease about physical look, they tend to cry). The text should be about the logistics.
Here is an example:
Me:
Hi _insert nick name here_, _reference to the tease_ (e.g. Still planning on killing that girl? Should I start avoiding your part of town?) (The tease is a small bait that she has no problem answering to. It also helps you to see if she is near her phone and how quickly she responds. The quicker the better, reverse doesn’t apply.)
Her: _Answer to the tease_ (e.g. Nah, I have bigger plans in mind like blowing something up) (Depending how rich (playful) her answer is, you will know how hooked she is. Also, how fast she answers. The more, the better, but reverse doesn’t apply.)
Me: _Reference to the answer_ (e.g. Great, now I am on a FBI’s watch list.) _Transition from the reference to the logistics_ (e.g. I think we should discuss details in person. Coffee Saturday afternoon? I will send you details a couple of days before) (Short and simple. Don’t do long texts because they are better then you are. Jokes don’t sound good because you can’t calibrate and use your body language. The more you text, the more chance you have to screw something up. Also, notice that I didn’t ask for the permission (Would you like to…). I am polite enough to use a question mark but that can be changed into comma (calibration). Also, I haven’t ended my text with the question (keeping momentum going – I am telling her what to do)

Day before (or same day) I text with the details.
Me: Tomorrow, XXXX hrs, _place_
She: Ok, cya (Her text just came as I am writing this 🙂)

So, you have a solid basis to start with. She likes you. If she didn’t she wouldn’t answer your text (or would give you incorrect number).
If girl doesn’t show up (flakes) or cancels in last minute delete her number and newer speak to her. Do not believe any excuses unless you have slept with her (and then same rules often applies). If she makes an effort (such as contacting you) then give her another try.

The Date
First rule of date is to have a plan – a dateplan. Plan has to consist of activities you two are going to do. If you are thinking on the spot, you will be insecure and not a leader. Be prepared. Here is an outline of mine.
I don’t do “regular” dates (go to dinners). I meet girls for a coffee at a bar (since that is very nonthreatening). There I continue with being cocky and funny (attraction build). Time has passed since she last saw you and you need to boost attraction again.
After an hour or so, I tell I have a chore to do (usually shopping) and I would like her to come along (“women’s point of view”). There are a couple of reasons for this:
1. Venue change is good for comfort building.
2. She gets an opportunity to see me in a normal environment and activity.
3. I make an adventure out of it (I suggest her what to try, “she is helping me” vibe, more teasing and comfort building).

During this, second venue, I tone down with teasing (it is less frequent) I put more emphasis on comfort (by doing this chore she gets to know my likes and I get to know her). After going through couple of shops, we sit down for another drink (usually at the mall).

During this drink I suggest another bounce, something that is more romantic (isolated), such as a walk at the park/lake/city center… I want to bounce to a location that offers me more intimacy for deeper comfort building. If she agrees (and she will if you haven’t screwed something up), I tell her that I have one more chore to do before we can leave. I buy something that I have to bring back home (like meat). I know what are you thinking, but you are wrong.

We bounce to my place (“I have to drop this, come up with me, here is hot/cold”). When we come, I show her around (“I would like your opinion on e.g. carpets/kitchen renovation/whatever”). After maximum half an hour, I suggest we go for a walk as we planned (“Enough snooping, let’s go”).
This is the catch. She was expecting me to make the move, but I didn’t. As long as you are unpredictable, you will be attractive. Second thing I wanted to achieve was to show her my place and not to make such a big deal the next time when she comes (and it won’t be for the carpets).

Then we go for a walk. During that we are in deep rapport and building more comfort. Certain vulnerabilities come up, but only a glance of them (e.g. something from childhood). I usually do the Cube or any other comfort building routine. We are getting to know each other. We are connecting. This is an excellent time for the kiss (if you haven’t done it before).

Next bounce is my place (“It is getting darker and I am cold. I would love to continue this in a warmer environment. Let’s go to my place. You have to try some excellent wine I picked up last week”).
With each bounce, you should be getting closer and closer to your place. Last, comfort building place should be (ideally) waking distance away.

When you are at your place, bring up the wine (alcohol is a social lubricant). If she refuses to drink, that is a sign she is not ready jet. If she drinks, go on.
If she is not ready jet, you can build more comfort and rappor. One thing I do if she doesn’t drink is to cook something (and have her help you) or even better, have her cook for you. Girls love to teach men do something and give advice. Second thing, we can watch some movies or play my kinect.
If she drinks, escalate to making out. In either case, have an romantic atmosphere (dimmed lights, candles, music, scents…).
During making out, you can escalate to sex.

This whole process can be spread through several dates. I seal the deal until date 3, but each date has to escalate and make progress. If it doesn’t drop her. Usually it takes 7 hours from meeting to sex, says Mystery.

It is all about planning, leading and making an illusion that everything is happening flawlessly and fluidly so she can say “I can’t believe this happened” or “I usually don’t do this”.

Have the plan!

Do you have something to add? Share your experience.

Parts Of The Game

When learning new things it is easier when there is a systematic division into smaller parts that are then easier to understand (we are men, after all).

This model is roughly taken from Myster’s 3M model. Many will argue that 3M is outdated (and techniques there generally are) but principles are valid and have remained the same.
I will give an overview of the model whose particular sections will be covered in-depth later (e.g. the techniques).

There are three parts (phases) of the pickup:
Attraction
Comfort
Seduction

Goal of the attraction is to spark the interest. You have the power to spark attraction in any and every women if you know how to play your cards right. David DeAngelo says “Attraction is not a choice” and that is the truth.
During the Attraction phase there are certain “milestones” you want to achieve.
You have to open and start the conversation. You want to continue the conversation and reach the hooking point when you will be no longer considered a stranger who is invading their privacy. You will be perceived as an interesting person who they have just met. These two are achieved with openers (who can be direct or indirect) and an interesting stories or routines (for indirect).

Second part is building attraction. Direct Game uses emotional surges, ups and downs to overwhelm the girl (aka the target). You could say “shock” her and transmit the message “I have chosen you”. For these to succeed you have to have a strong, manly, alpha sexual frame. Indirect Game slowly makes the target realize how cool you are and how is she starting to feel attracted to you. In both cases you are being cocky and funny, busting your target’s balls, being interesting and (in)directly telegraphing your interest. Don’t chase, be chosen is a general rule (directly or indirectly). Turning social stereotypes around is a another good way.

When you notice your target is into you, you start with Comfort phase.

Comfort is built by intense rapport building. You want to connect with the girl. The amount of connection differs what do you want to achieve (SNL – basic comfort (e.g. “You are not a psychopath”), LTR – more comfort (e.g. she trusts you). During Comfort you two are getting to know each other. This is usually done during dating (although some basic comfort can be built at attraction, meeting location). At the beginning of Comfort, you are still being interesting using cocky & funny, ball busting and stories. But as this phase continues and you are getting into deep rapport, you tone it down (since you are dealing with more “serious”, intimate topics). During comfort you still need to be a man she was attracted to. You are not a needy guy, telling your sad life story. You are still a dominant male who knows what to do and what he wants (alpha). You just want to get to know her. Here are some tips:
• Be consistent with what you were saying during attraction (e.g. hold your frame and congruency), aka your vibe. If you were perceived as an adventurer, you have to show her that (talking, planning an adventure together or having a mini adventure at the spot).
• Have your own thing. Something that only exists between your two like nickname (strongly recommend) or future plans.
• Venue changing creates an illusion that much time has passed and thus she feels more comfortable with you.
• Talking about past also creates the same time passing illusion.
• Have her qualify to you by asking a qualification questions. Here are my favorites: “What is your most memorable experience that makes you what you are today?”, “Beauty is temporarily. If everyone here would look exactly like you, how would you differ?” or simple ones like “Do you cook?”. Basically you are making her qualify to you (since you are a cool alpha guy).
• Be somehow mysterious and little distant. Do not verbalize what are you doing and why. Only moment you can verbalize is an awkward one (as part of cocky and funny). I am very experienced in cold reading but my problem was that sometimes girls would know I was reading them and that would freak them out (and not in a good way).
• Comfort building routines like Cube, palm reading (and generally cold reading routines), Eliciting Values Routines, Kill/Fuck/Marry routine…

Depending how much rapport and comfort you have built, there will be a stronger or weaker connection. Weak or strong is not an absolute. If you are going for an SNL, you have to build an intense connection which will result in “I usually don’t do this” type rationalization (hamster ftw). But that kind of connection is weak considering longevity (aka LTR potential). Nevertheless, this connection has to lead either to intimacy or friendship zone. The difference is what message you have been sending (either sexual or friendly). Kino escalation helps sending a clear message (there will be a separate topic). Comfort building usually lasts the longest over multiple dates (for LTR kind of Game).

Intimacy is an introduction to seduction and is done at intimate (sex) location. Usually there is heavy making involved, fingering (foreplay) and sex itself. One important thing to overcome before sex is Last Minute Resistance (LMR). There are two kinds of “No” a girl can give you: a token no which is a shit test (successfully passed by continuing) and LMR (it-is-to-early) no. You are probably asking yourself, how you will know the difference. Well, experience, but until you have some, just treat it as a token no (better to apologize then to ask permission). If kind, soft “no” (usually the token one) starts to be louder, serious “no”, and then it is the LMR one. LMR is best solved like you don’t care (as most shit tests). “It is OK babe, I understand”. Kill romantic atmosphere (e.g. candles, music) and do something boring (like check your mail, cell phone, FB, continue watching a movie). She will be confused and slightly irritated why you aren’t chasing after her. If she comes back (and usually she will), continue, but make her to take off a part of clothing that triggered the LMR (bra, panties…). Escalation ramp by Vin Dicarlo is gold. After you have delt with LMR, last step is, well,…have fun. 🙂 Remember to be responsible. (there is a LMR routine that works every time, but you have to bribe me in order to tell you :p)

One important thing to remember is that there is no clear border between steps and phases. You don’t say at one point “now we start with intimacy, please stand by”. Whole experience has to be fluid. You have to have a plan. A Game plan.

The Art Of Conversation

This is a topic that supersedes the Game. It will improve your everyday, “normal” life.
Do you have problems keeping the conversation? You see your friends who can just talk about everything for hours?
Here are some tips you can try.

Be Interesting
When speaking about attraction, there are subjects that should be avoided. They are either boring and not attractive (e.g. weather) or tend to provoke quarrel (e.g. religion, politics). Talking about the job gave me some mixed results and it is a topic that will sooner or later come up. So what to do when it does?
First, never pop that question (“So what do you do for living?”). It will come by itself.

If you are in a Night Game scenario (aka clubs) say something that doesn’t make sense like (by Mystery):
-hand model (“Can’t you see how beautiful my nails are?”)
-shark wrestler (“Those great whites throw a hard punch”)
-bank robber (“And I need someone to help me with my next gig”)
-double agent (“And I need your help to seduce a high ranking official”)
“You would not believe my if I told you”

I sometimes use it during a Day Game scenario, but for the Night Game it is a must (and depending on the girl, I will tease more or less).

Then, if she insists, I will tell her what I do. But that will not be my title and job position. I will have an interesting story to tell. Here is an example:

“I really don’t like taking about my job. It is not that interesting subject. But since you asked. You see, I work for a large evil multinational company. I know what are you thinking, but it is better to be friends with them than fight them. Sue me. I work for a R&D department and when my company wants something developed, it buys it. My job is not to buy a shit.” Then I take a glass or something that is near and explain the whole process as if we were buying that something customized. It is a nice story, problem is that I can’t build any sexual aspects into it (as with my other DHV stories). But since this question usually pops early in the conversation it is OK.

Second, read. Read about what is going on in the world, your country, city, village,… Read books. It doesn’t matter what are they about, but you will be more interesting than if you only watch TV. I read a book like this just for fun. And you would not imagine how often something from that book comes up handy in a conversation (you don’t have to memories the entire book, my brain just likes to remember useless information).

Third, travel. There is no better way to have an interesting life the travelling. Travel as far as you can. I was lucky enough to see most of Europe while in high school. And that travelling (without me realizing) enriched my life. While travelling you get to experience other cultures and different way of life. And there is always going to be at least one interesting story. I didn’t realize how many I had until I started playing the Game.

Lead the Conversation
Be able to lead the conversation where you want it to go. There are two tricks that help with this.
First, open multiple threads. Open up to a couple of threads when talking. Don’t be afraid to jump from subject to subject even though previous subject was not finished. This leaves you a subject to jump back to when one finishes (or gets awkward). There are no those unpleasant silences (although silence should never be unpleasant).

Second, don’t be afraid to cut someone’s (or your’s) thread. When I see that conversation is not heading where I want it to go, I will open a new thread (thus cutting the existing one) or just say something like “This topic is boring, can’t you guys talk about nothing except…” (usually it is the job). Then they ask me what should we talk about and I have a couple of interesting topics (e.g. social dynamics, sex, etc).

The Conversation Algorithm
I was born with the art of rambling. But it took me a while to fine tune it. And I used this technique. (by B-Fusion)

Firstly, you can always have some conversation topics prepared. They can also be routines, openers and gambits. When you are an absolute beginner, use routines you read about on sites like this (aka canned material). Then from time, as you get better, you will modify these materials and start making yours. Example would be the customized “job story” with DHV spikes (or any DHV story based on your experience).

Secondly, become a good listener. Communicating is not only exchanging information. It is also noticing how others interpret exchanged information. That is an area women are usually better then men. One can easily improve this by analyzing key words in sentences. Let me give you an example. HB: “I just came from trip where I was visiting my aunt in Paris”. You can start at least three threads from this sentence about: trip, aunt and Paris. E.g. “You travel a lot?”, “Having relatives abroad is handy, I have some in…?” or “I didn’t know you were part French.”, “I was in Paris…” or “I would like to visit Paris, how is it?” or another million Paris related topics. This is an excellent way to jump to another topic. You might have noticed that not all key words are equally important. Trip to Paris carries much more importance then having an aunt there (it is more important for the HB). But they can be equally used to continue conversation.
When using this technique (and conversing in general) don’t machine gun questions. Conversation in not an interview (although good interviews should not machine gun questions either). Ideally, ask your question then rumble about something. Then rumble some more and then ask another question. This is how natural conversation looks like. (by Roosh)

Thirdly, silence is your friend. There is nothing wrong with silence. Insecure people tend to find silence unpleasant (“OMG, was my performance interesting enough?”). Use silence to your advantage:
-You have time to sort your thoughts and think about what say next.
-Alpha behavior is not an insecure one and that is telegraphed by silence.
-It builds tension which is good (tension buildup and release is a key to attraction).

These are general notes about making a good conversation. I didn’t go purposely about any particular gambit or at which part of the interaction you should use what kind of conversation. These will be covered in future topics.
Try this and let me know if it helped.

Conversing emotionally
This chapter was written about a half year later then rest of the article.

An absolute must when conversing with girls is to converse emotionally. That means using and choosing words that are different enough in order to induce emotions. Instead of saying good, say extraordinary, fantastic, incredible. If you love something, say (madly) addicted to. Put life in your words. Show you have vocabulary. If you don’t, read and read some more. You get the idea.
OK, so you know which words to pick. Now, try mixing them up so that they are somehow contradictory. Use extremes. For example, if I need to borrow something I say: “Do you mind me stealing this from you for couple of minutes?”. Or “I am such an arrogant bastard. And you are madly addicted to me for that”. Try to achieve emotional swings in things you do. Never be monotone. If you, for example, play some music, mix slower and faster tunes.

In order to add emotions to your speech, don’t be monotone. Change the intonation and peace of your voice as you speak. Speak slower rather than faster (you will look more confidant).

In order to be be proficient at conversing emotionally (and not look weird) you need to experiment and fine tune.

Body Language

This subject is very dear to me since it was the first thing that got me learning about social dynamics (in general).
Studying body language has been my hobby for more then two years now and it is one of the skills I started my Game with. But knowing theory and applying it to the real world situations are two different things.
There are two aspects of body language that affect your Game. First (and easier one) is your body language. Here are few simple tips that will improve your Game in a blink:
1. Stand up straight with shoulders slightly rotated to the back, puffing your chest a little bit. Don’t overdo it since you will be looking like a tryhard.
2. Don’t look at your shoes while walking or talking. Your head should be up.
3. Smile. Especially when starting conversations. Don’t keep smiling whole time since it will look fake and weird (e.g. flight attendants). Ask yourself: “Is it normal to smile now?”. If you are meeting someone new, it is. If you are asking about the problem you are facing (aka serious subject), it is not.
4. While sitting, lean back. Even when you are having conversation with people. Even if it is loud. Other people will lean in towards you thus showing interest (IOI). This is the most common mistake guys make. They are interested in a girl and they show it by leaning in. Girls, who are much better at social dynamics then guys, interpret it as needy.
5. Don’t fidget and avoid fast movements. A confident person does not need to move a lot in order to attract attention. Moving a lot also shows nervousness (or neediness).
6. Make and hold eye contact while approaching and especially while talking to people. More advanced version of this technique is to break eye contact while talking to further show your confidence (and disinterest in the other party). Try not breaking eye contact until you are calibrated enough to know when, where and with whom you can do it in order to boost attraction. When breaking eye contact, break it sideways. Never break eye contact downwards.
7. If I had to give you one general tip about body language and confidence it would be this one: Confidant people tend to use (more) space (then they really need). So, when walking, take wide steps (again, don’t look ridiculous). When standing, either stand with legs standing apart (roughly same width as your hips) or have legs crossed (while leaned against something). First stance shows “ready for action”, second one indicates comfort.
8. Don’t know what to do with your arms? Here is what *not* to: Keep them behind the back or (even worse) cross them. Default position should be having them relaxed next to your pockets with fingers slightly bend inwards (what actually happens when you relax your arm while standing up straight).
9. Don’t put your hands in your pockets.
10. When holding objects (such as a drink in a bar) and talking to someone, hold it sideways and not in front of you. You don’t want to create a barrier between you and person you are talking to (same logic applies with crossed arms).

These are general guidelines and there are exceptions to some of them.
Improving your body language can improve your looks (and attraction) tremendously.

Here is an interesting article you should read.
For more comprehensive information about body language I suggest watching David DeAngelo’s Body Language program.

Second aspect is all about reading HB’s body language. This one takes time and practice. Basically, you need to learn about body language and how to use it. Here are some general rules:

1. Observe and observe actively!
Be active observer. Notice body language changes. You don’t have to understand at first what they mean, just noticing that something is going on, is excellent (and the hardest part about reading body language).

2. Observe in context!
Crossed arms means unfriendly? Maybe. But what if it is cold? Maybe her arms are cold.

3. Learn universal tells
This one is hard to explain in a couple of sentences. Those regarding attraction are these:
Is she laughing (after you deliver a joke, also, don’t laugh to your own jokes)?
Is she regulatory playing with her hair (after you said something)?
Is she looking at your lips (regularly)?
Is she facing you directly?
Is she mirroring your body language (mimicking your movements)?
Is she touching you? (this is a big one)
One hard tell to catch is a pupil dilation (don’t bother if you don’t see it).
Note that these tells will start happening as you become more attracted to her.

4. Observe unique tells
Everyone has unique tells. Maybe she likes to keep her arms crossed?

5. Establish a baseline first
While approaching and opening, you might have triggered her resistance (bitch) shield. Also, girls (especially in night clubs) are not their real selves. Night clubs are a virtual world, says David D, and I tend to agree. Reading is easier when you establish a baseline behavior first and then notice changes.

6. Tells are usually grouped
If you are doing things wright, she will be smiling, facing towards you while playing with hair and punching you in the arm.

7. (Sudden) Change what are you looking for (when screwing up)
This will usually happen when you did something wrong. She will suddenly close (you did terribly wrong) or start closing. Attraction is very easily lost. That is why we calibrate our behavior with each new HB.

8. The tells can be learned
Remind me, what are you doing right now again?

9. It all boils down to comfort and discomfort
All body language tells can be sorted in two categories: they show comfort of discomfort. Confidant body language equals comfort, needy shows discomfort. This way it is easier to read. After you do the read, think why is she showing comfort or discomfort.

10. Be subtle while observing
I gamed girls while talking about psychology and body language, but this is a double edged sword. Sometimes they tend to freak out (anyone tried dating a psychologist?). Never tell about your knowledge early on (during attraction). It kills mystery HBs are crazy about. Whole purpose about body language is to demonstrate that “you get it” without telling her directly. You can start talking about psychology to show “how deep you are” but newer tell something like “you suddenly closed (crossed arms), because I did that and that”.

This is body language in a nutshell. If you are more interested in the subject, I highly recommend you start with What Every Body is Saying by Joe Navarro.
Also note that this is a tool that can be used not only while gaming, but in everyday life.